As I Lie in Wait
by Dead Reckoning
Summary: (COMPLETE) This tells the story of a young servant girl, her torture, and the hope and the Hell she must now endure as a Pharaoh's wife. Atem x OC
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I (obviously) do not own _Yu-Gi-Oh!_. I only own the plot and my OCs.

To the readers of "A Lover's Tale" who have waited ever-so-patiently, I have returned with the new story. It is the same; don't worry, but it has changed slightly, to clear up some confusing points. I hope you all enjoy this one.

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As I Lie in Wait

Prologue:

_As I lie here on the floor, of the servants' quarters… in wait…_

_I wonder what I have done to come this far, and what I have left behind to get here._

_I swallow and turn over. I remember just a few mornings ago, when the Queen said __**I **__was to be married to the __**Prince**__. '_ME?!_' I thought in pure shock with a tint of horror._

_I roll back over with my back to the door, the light, and the hope that I can walk away from this._

_I am only a servant, an Apprentice at my absolute best. I have not been trained in the ways of a Lady or even a woman. I have not been prepared to be a noblewoman, much less a Princess, let alone a Queen. I have only been prepared to be a Priestess: a Priestess to the Mother. I have only been trained to write in a few languages, speak even fewer, and stand still for hours while the other Priestesses perform the Rites or say the Prayers or do whatever the Pharaoh commands of them. _

_I bite my lower lip as the tears come to my eyes, as the memories come to my mind… the memories that accompany this sham of a territory I call being a servant._

_I close my eyes as the tears come streaming down my face. I am nineteen years old. I am entirely too old to be thinking, dreaming, or even wishing of marriage. My life is half over. In just a short twenty-one years—fewer if my prayers are answered—I will die and be led by Wepawet (1) to be judged by Lord Osiris himself, and Ladies Meshkhent (2), and Mut (3), along with the Queen Isis herself (4). Maybe, hopefully, Ammut (5) will swallow me alive like he does all the damned…_

_My mind keeps wandering back to the Queen Mother. I have no right to invoke her name or speak it or even think it. I'm already a failure as a mother and therefore have no hope to any man as a wife, let alone a budding prince soon to become a great Pharaoh._

_I hear him crying… clear across the Palace… in the Quarters of the Priests. I shake my head as my mind tries to fight my body and soul. "You will NOT go to him, Nefertiri… He is a part of the past… a part of the past that you will walk away from…along with all the pieces…" It is a losing battle, however, for I already have another charge inside me, driving me farther and farther into Blessed Damnation. My whole body begins to shake as I continue to try and fight this losing battle._

_I curse the Instinct that I've been fighting all this time. My mind leaves me as my soul takes over and drives my body to him. The tears leave my eyes as I all but float to his room… to their room._

_I go to him, pick him up from out of his father's arms. "Mama's got you, baby… Your mother's got you just like she always does…" I swallow as he wraps his little arms around my neck and rests his head against me. "… and like she never will again."_

_I turn away from his father. I take one step before I collapse to my knees and bring my head to the floor, almost as if my son, my new baby, and I are in prayer… to the Mother. He whimpers softly and wraps his arms more tightly around me. I let my hair shroud us both in its darkness. He takes a lock in his tiny hands and begins to play… in his own little place… in my arms._

"… _Nefertiri…" That voice. "Have you come to see our son? Or perhaps to tell me about how our new little one is doing..." That Goddamned voice!_

"_Yes. I came to get MY son." I begin to shake in rage now. I rise to sitting position._

"_Adorable, isn't he? The spitting image of his mother… with his father's eyes, of course. I only hope the new baby will be as pretty as you..."_

_The lump in my throat swallows itself. "He has nothing of yours! Only of mine."_

"_Now, now, let's not get angry… remember the little one…"_

_I shake so hard now that I disturb my son. "Enough…"_

"_The new baby…"_

"_Be quiet."_

"_Let's not disturb him…" I can feel his smirk on my back, going down my waist and to my hips. "Especially now that you have to—"_

"_I SAID—"_

"_Pass this new one off—"_

"_BE QUIET—"_

"_As a Pharaoh's child…"_

"_SILENCE! I've had enough!"__ I am standing now. My chest is heaving. My son is crying, and my own tears streak my face again. _

"… _Good luck…" I hear him say as I stalk out._

_I take a few deep breaths as I let my steps and hair comfort him, and I allow my son's comfort numb me once again._

_He whimpers as I walk into the room. The room I have been fortunate enough only to have to share with one other. I shush my crying son. "Shh… Easy, little one. Easy, Anon…" I swallow as a tear lands next to his face on my pallet. "Let's hope you can stay Nameless forever…"_

_I can't stand to look at my son any longer. I go to the opposite wall and rest my forearm against it. I lean my head here and let the tears flow again._

_I clutch my lower stomach with my left hand, the accursed hand… as another agonizing cramp hits me. My fingers happen to squeeze together. They squeeze my ring finger… the finger that holds my engagement ring… the symbol of the Hope and Agony that I am about to have to endure for the rest of my life. I grit my teeth as I begin to bleed again… from the netherrealm. From that damned place that has been my torture on the inside for so long. _

_My right hand begins to try and keep its spot on the wall as my body slides down in its pain. I curl up like my baby with both my hands pressed desperately to it now. I find myself praying that the blood is from my little one, and not from me. I'm instantly sickened and ashamed of myself. _

_I manage to find the words to speak, to command myself rather, to stay my baby's pain and remember. "Go back to that morning, Nefertiri… That heavenly horrid morning… two weeks ago…"_

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1-Wepawet: meaning "Opener of the Ways"—Usher of the Dead

2-Meshkhent: meaning "Birthing Place"—Goddess of Childbirth

3-Mut: meaning "Mother"—Theban Mother Goddess

4-The Queen Isis: "The Throne"—the Queen of the Gods and the Goddess of Magic

5-Ammut: "Dead Swallower"—Demon who ate souls.

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Thank you for your time. Please leave a review. Thanks.

Dead Reckoning


	2. The Prince

FLUFF WARNING!

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The Prince:

_He whimpers as I walk into the room. The room I have been fortunate enough only to have to share with one other. I shush my crying son. "Shh… Easy, little one. Easy, Anon…" I swallow as a tear lands next to his face on my pallet. "Let's hope you can stay Nameless forever…"_

_I can't stand to look at my son any longer. I go to the opposite wall and rest my forearm against it. I lean my head here and let the tears flow again._

_I clutch my lower stomach with my left hand, the accursed hand… as another agonizing cramp hits me. My fingers happen to squeeze together. They squeeze my ring finger… the finger that holds my engagement ring… the symbol of the Hope and Hell that I am about to have to endure for the rest of my life. I grit my teeth as I begin to bleed again… from the Nether-Realm. From that damned place that has been my torture on the inside for so long. _

_My right hand begins to try and keep its spot on the wall as my body slides down in its pain. I curl up like my baby with both my hands pressed desperately to it now. I find myself praying that the blood is from my little one, and not from me. I'm instantly sickened and ashamed of myself. _

_I manage to find the words to speak, to command myself rather, to stay my baby's pain and remember. "Go back to that morning, Nefertiri… That heavenly horrid morning… two weeks ago…"_

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I swallow the lump that has developed out of fear in my throat. I have been called by the Pharaoh and Queen of Egypt. I have no idea as to the reason for this summoning.

I am Nefertiri. I am nineteen years old. I work as a servant to the priestesses to Isis, the Mother Goddess (1). I was raised into this line of work in hopes that I might one day be a High Priestess. I live in the servant's quarters at the palace, but I have never spoken to the Pharaoh or Queen, for it is not permitted.

I am fearful, slightly trembling. I slowly walk into the throne room and bow before the royal couple. "Your Highnesses."

I sneak a peek to see Pharaoh Aknamkanon and Queen Solori nod in their approval. I then focus my attention back to the floor. "As you know," Queen Solori starts, "Prince Atem is of marrying age, and will ascend the throne of Egypt." She pauses, awaiting my response.

I swallow again. "Yes, my queen."

"I have personally taken on the task of finding him a suitable wife," she continues. I raise my eyebrows in apprehension. None of this seems my concern, but I listen intently. "…And I have chosen you. Congratulations, you are to be married to the prince in two months."

I gasp and look up at them. "WHAT?!" I quickly draw in my breath and feel myself turn red with embarrassment and horror. I look back down. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine; don't worry about it." For the first time, I notice that the Pharaoh and Queen are quite old, and worn. It seems as though their time in this life is almost done. They will judged by Osiris soon. "I'll introduce you to the prince. Come," she motions me to follow, and I obey her wishes. I am taken to quiet, brightly lit room. The sun is shining through the windows. Prince Atem sits in a chair toward the back, meditating. I bow to him.

"My son," the Queen says, "this is to be your new wife, Nefertiri." The prince looks at me and smiles gently. I feel myself blush. "I'll leave you two alone to get to know each other," she adds, turning to leave.

Just then I realize something… There's no way I can marry Prince Atem. I already have a two-year-old son, and I just found out that I'm expecting at this very moment… The Prince could never love me, could never accept me and my baby… even if I do leave my son behind, something I just can't bring myself to do. Just before I turn to tell her of my predicament, Queen Solori is already out the door.

Prince Atem just stares at me. I wonder what he's thinking; I find myself hoping he approves. "You shouldn't be bowing to me, Nefertiri," he says. His voice is deep, smooth, melodic; more pleasurable to the ears than the taste of rich, sweet wine to the mouth. My heart flutters. I rise, but I still look at the ground. He gets up and comes to me. He is slightly taller than me. He raises my chin. His hands feel warm and loving.

I look into his rich violet eyes. They are calm, soothing, gentle. "Your eyes are beautiful," I hear myself say.

"And so are yours," Prince Atem replies, looking into mine, which are deep sea blue. Suddenly, he raises my chin more, and he brings his lips to mine. I am surprised as I am not expecting this. His kiss feels magical. His lips are warm and loving. I close my eyes and drink in the moment, not wanting to let go. I cup my hands around his face, and wrap my arms around his neck. He embraces my waist. I feel myself moan. I hear footsteps coming. He stops soon after. I am reluctant; I almost refuse. "I wanted to see how your lips feel," he whispers to me softly. "You kiss very well."

I turn bright red. I'm so lost in his eyes that I barely hear a woman clear her throat. We turn simultaneously to see Queen Solori smiling brightly. I drop to the floor immediately. "Please, Nefertiri, no need to bow. You're soon to be a princess." I return to my feet slowly and feel my blush lessening. I keep my concentration on the floor, hoping my hip-length hair will cover my face. So far, it's doing a pretty good job. "Nefertiri, dear, as beautiful as your hair is, I want to see your face. Please, feel free to look upon me," she says. I lift my face, brush my hair back, and look her in her light brown eyes. How Prince Atem's came out violet, I'll never know.

"My son," she says, "I'm glad to see you are pleased with her." He nods slightly and puts his arm around my waist. I feel myself melt in his arms. I have to rest my head on his shoulder to keep from fainting. He feels so warm. I come to enjoy this feeling. Queen Solori smiles even brighter. "You two were destined to be together. I feel honored to be chosen by the Gods to unite you."

I feel myself blush and close my eyes. I re-open them just in time to hear her say, "Since you two are so in love, I've decided to move the wedding to two weeks from tomorrow." I gasp and she replies, "That way you can have time to prepare."

"Your Highness, I—"

"Please, call me Mother. I'll leave you two alone to discuss the wedding," she says, turning and adding, "Oh, and Atem?"

Atem looks intently at her. "Yes, Mother?"

"Do please give Nefertiri her ring soon. I don't want any other men thinking they can take her away from you…" she says with a wink before leaving. Again, I forget to tell her about why I can't marry Atem, as much as I want to.

My breathing goes shallow. This is really real. This is actually happening. If I don't do something soon, I'm about to be married to the Prince… My eyes close, and I start to fall to the floor. Prince Atem catches me in his arms and calls my name. "Nefertiri, are you all right?!" I flutter my eyes open to see him locked in a worried expression.

"I'm fine. I was just… overwhelmed. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, love. You just worried me." I start to smile. A startled look crosses his face. "What is it?"

"You called me your love," I reply, snuggling up to him. I can't help but wonder if he'll feel the same way once he finds out my secret. I can't hide this baby forever, can I?

He holds me close and sits back down. He positions me so that I'm sitting on his lap with his arms around me. I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh. A question suddenly pops into my head. I want to ask him, but I'm afraid. I decide, against my usual cautious judgment, that it's better to just ask him now instead of letting it eat at me. "Atem?"

He looks me in the eyes, letting me know I have his full attention. His gaze feels so magical. It gives me a chill. "Yes, dear?"

"Atem, do you… do you really want to marry me?"

His eyes soften. "Of course I want to marry you. I feel drawn to you. Like Mother said, we're meant to be together." He smiles down at me. He seems so gentle and caring. Just then, he slips a beautiful ring on my finger. It is a thin gold band with what I know must be a diamond in the center. The stone looks almost like a starburst. "Do you really want to marry me? You don't have to if you don't want to. I can have Mother—"

I look down at the ring. "This is beautiful." I can't help but smile. "Yes, I truly want to marry you. I feel… I feel connected to you somehow."

"I know exactly how you feel. I can't explain it either, but I feel it, too. I—"

"You what?"

"I love you." I'm shocked. He leans into to kiss me again. I gasp and meet him halfway. Our lips meet, and our tongues get to know each other. I completely lose myself to him. Time seemingly stops when we kiss, as if we were meant to stay like this forever. I love this feeling. He pulls away, but does so reluctantly.

"What is it?" I ask worriedly.

He reads my expression without a fault. "I'm sorry to worry you, Nefertiri, it's just that I could feel myself getting carried away, and I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I want to wait until the wedding night to take you; that way it will be more meaningful, more magical."

Something overcomes my body. I feel hot heavy, and… And I have a strange desire. I want him to take me: right here, right now. I don't care who's watching, who sees. I want him so bad I could cry. I look him in the eyes, the desire present. He has to sense it because he smirks. I sense the same desire in his eyes. "You really want me to take you, don't you?"

The words slip out before I even realize what I've said. "Oh Ra yes, I can't stand it!" I gasp.

His smirk grows wide. My desire grows with it. I LOVE his smirk. It makes my heart flutter. My breathing goes shallow, I find myself suddenly sweaty. I'm on fire. God, I want him! He leans over so that his mouth is next to my ear. "I have something to tell you." His voice is so sexy; it gives me chills all over.

"Yes?"

"I want to take you right now, I want you so bad it hurts," he whispers in my ear. He starts to kiss my neck. I moan and close my eyes.

I want this so badly, but I also want to respect his wishes. "Atem?" I say in a squeaky voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes," he replies as he starts to move further down my neck and on to my chest. My breathing goes shallow as he lays me down.

I decide, against my bodily wishes, that it's now or never. If I don't stop him, we'll go all the way. Not that I would mind, but as his future wife, I feel it is my utmost duty to see to his wishes to my fullest capabilities. "Atem, we… we have to stop. This… this goes against your wishes."

"No, this is my wish," he says, disrobing me. "Unless it goes against your own wish."

"Yes, it does. Sort of. You wished to wait for our wedding night to take me, and your wish is my command. It is my duty to keep you happy. Besides, you said it would be more meaningful this way." I purposefully leave out magical because frankly this is as close to pure magic as I have ever gotten, and I'm not entirely sure if that was true. He is halfway down my stomach by now, kissing a hot, sweet trail down to my sacred regions, taking his time. Every inch closer he gets, I lose more and more of my breath.

He stops and looks up at me. My breathing remains uneven and will not return to normal, not while his body is nestled between my legs the way it is. My hips are on fire. My God, I want this. My own desires scare me by this point. "You're right. Well, at least half right. I did say that it would mean more on our wedding night, and I meant that. I just couldn't control myself around you. You have this… undeniable air of subtle, sexy femininity that could, probably does, bring any man to his knees…" I blink rather rapidly. Me? The man has lost his mind.

"Now, about the first part. That's not true." I raise my head to show him my puzzled expression. He continues. "I am to be your husband; it is a HUSBAND'S duty to keep his wife happy. Your wish is my command. I promise from here on out that I will always make you happy no matter what it takes." He leans on his elbows so that he can properly judge my reaction. I blink in response to his speech. His philosophy toward marriage is… startling to say the least. No one I know feels that way.

I blink again. I finally manage to take control of my voice with the words, "You really believe that a husband's duty is to keep his wife happy?"

"Yes, I do. It's part of loving you, isn't it? If you love someone, you want to keep them happy no matter what it takes. It breaks your heart to see them upset." He puts his arms under my back in an embrace. He lays his head on my stomach so that his face is in the middle of my belly. "I want to lay here if it would appease you. This may sound improper, but I love having your legs around me like this."

My eyes grow wide, and I can feel myself turning bright red. I am certainly not expecting THAT. "It does, but could you move up, please? I'm cold."

"As you wish, love," he says as gets up and moves. He puts his bare chest to mine, puts his head next to mine. He feels so warm. I love this.

"Atem?" I find myself about to tell him about my son and my current condition, but I quickly stop myself. _'You should know better than that, Nefertiri… Talk to Queen Solori about this, not Atem. Not yet…'_

He leans on his elbows so he can look into my eyes. "Yes, Nefertiri?"

So I decide to say what else is on my mind: "Atem, I never got the chance to say this before, but… I… I love you." I nervously await his reaction.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that," he says as he lies back down. We stay like this all day, until it's time to part. Neither of us wants to go, but such things we cannot control. We bid one another farewell. The goodbye kiss lasts forever, yet it is still too short.

_Back on the floor now, with the numbness of memory leaving me, and the life blood leaving my child, my muscles begin to tense and ache. I cannot believe I'm pregnant AGAIN. I cannot believe that I am going to lie to my new family, my future kingdom, and most importantly, to the man I love…_

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1- Isis is believed to have given birth to the Horus, the god most closely associated with the Pharaoh, one of the most important gods in Egypt.

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Thanks for your time. Please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning.


	3. Interim

This is a bonus chapter that I added in to go along with the feel of the story.

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Interim:

I sit at the other edge of the palace, on the banks of the river. I stare out at the lotus blossoms, deep in thought. I find that I spend a lot of time here now, whether it be to get away or to have a free moment alone with my son. These waters seem to be my lone companions now.

I think about how my life has changed in the past two weeks. I have literally gone from being a pitiful servant to a Princess, soon to be a Queen. I still live and work as a servant, by my own choice, but everyone now knows who I am, my destiny…

Tomorrow I will marry Prince Atem. I still haven't told him or Queen Solori about my son, let alone that I'm expecting another baby. The closer this wedding gets, the more reasons I find that I can't do this.

A voice breaks my train of thought. "Nefertiri?" I tuck my hair behind my ear and turn around to see Atem smiling down at me.

I smile weakly at him as he sits down beside me. "Hi… what are you doing here?"

"I just had a free moment… I wanted to spend it with you," he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and dipping his feet in the water to join mine. "You always seem to be out here."

I rest my head on his shoulder and take in his body heat. "I like it here… It's peaceful."

"It does seem serene." He kisses my cheek. We sit like this for a while, simply enjoying each other's company.

Another servant snaps us out of each other. "My Prince, the Queen wishes to see you at once."

"Can't it wait?" Atem asks with a hint of irritation and exasperation in his voice.

"No, she says she must see you now."

He sighs heavily, and I can't help smiling. "You'd better go see her."

"Okay… I'll be back soon."

"All right." Knowing that Solori will probably keep Atem held up for a while, I decide to sneak a peek at my son. I get up and go to the quarters of the Priests.

I am not even halfway to my room when that accursed voice beckons me from behind. "Nefertiri…"

I turn and glare at my son's father. "What do you want?"

"Come here…"

"NO…" I back away from him and toward Anon's room. I see him nod slightly and feel a set of hands trust me into his arms. Before I can scream or fight back, he pulls me into another room where I look upon the faces of my torturers. I've learned to block them out so well that they're all nothing more than shadows to me now.

They push me inside and rip my cloth from me. I know what's coming, but I am still helpless to stop it.

I try to back away to no avail. Another catches me in his arms and a few others pin me down while the rest have their turns at violating me. I close my eyes and release them from my mind. Pretty soon it's like they're not even there anymore.

As I let my mind wander, the intense throbbing pain of each thrust begins to lessen more and more until I don't feel a thing. My thoughts drift back toward Atem. I start to cry when I realize that even if I could marry him, with a past like mine, Atem could never love me. I've been used, violated, mistreated, and broken. I'm no good to him now, nor have I ever been good enough for him.

I don't even notice when they lift my limp body up and lean me against the wall. I feel a very quick, very sharp pain on my back. Before I can process what's just happened, another pain hits me. I know what they're doing now. They're whipping me, disfiguring me. At this rate, my physical scars will mirror my emotional turmoil.

I beg them to stop. I can't let them do this to me. I can't let them scar me like this. I try to escape only to be met with more blows. They finally run of out energy and leave me in a heap on the floor. I manage to get up and gather my clothing. My vision blurs as I cough up blood before throwing up all over the floor.

I am able to make it back to the servants' quarters only to pass out before I make it to my room. I desperately urge my body awake and into my room at least. I reach my pallet and collapse on to it.

My bare back begins to sting uncontrollably as I close my eyes. I feel the blood trickling from my wounds onto the rough linen. I shake my head. I don't know how I'll be able to explain this to Atem. I don't even know if I can still marry him. My instincts tell me the answer to that one is an obvious no.

I bring my knees up to my chest and lean against them. I feel something rubbing against me. I pick up a servant of Bastet (1). I begin to rub her fur as she snuggles up to me and purrs. This cat is a particular favorite of mine, mainly because of her rich burnt orange color, like that of a flame. I named her Phoenix since I mostly feed water, and bathe the cats myself.

One of my fellow servants rouses me from my trance. "Nefertiri, it's time for the evening meal."

"I'm not hungry."

"Pharaoh Akhenaton and Queen Solori personally request your presence, along with Prince Atem, of course," she replies with a sly smile.

I get up and set the cat down on my pallet. She curls herself up into a ball on my thin pillow.

The servant wraps her arm around my back. "Jessenia, please don't do that."

She looks at my back. "Oh, Nefertiri, what happened to you?!"

"I don't want to talk about it… Let's just go eat." We walk from the servants' quarters to the Dining Hall. On the way, Jessenia removes my cloth and ties it tightly around me, making sure to cover my back completely. I thank her before entering the Hall. I'm surprised to find it empty save Prince Atem, Queen Solori, and Pharaoh Akhenaton.

"Nefertiri! It's about time you joined us," the Queen greets me warmly.

I simply bow and take my seat next to Atem. Queen Solori is so full of conversation tonight, mainly about the wedding. All I can do is look down at my plate and pretend to eat. Luckily the servants take up our dishes before anyone can notice.

Atem wraps his arms around me. I grimace, and my whole body becomes tense. "Nefertiri, are you all right, love?"

"Y-yeah, I-um, I'm… I'm just a little sore is all. I'm fine."

"Would you like to go rest for a while?"

"No no, I'm okay, really."

"If you say so." I take a deep breath and make pleasant conversation for a while. Dessert is brought out to us, and I manage to take a few bites against the dull aching pain in my back.

"Atem, my son, come with me. We have matters to discuss," Pharaoh Aknamkanon suddenly commands.

"Yes, Father." Atem kisses me before rising and leaving with the Pharaoh.

"Well, that was a lovely meal," the Queen says through a smile. "Why don't we take a walk, Nefertiri? The moon is supposed to be full tonight."

"Sure," I reply as we both get up. We head outside and to the river. As predicted, Khonsu (2) was in full form tonight.

We walk silently along the length of the river for a while. I was hoping to have this awkward silence so that maybe I could gather my thoughts enough to tell her that I can't do this. I can't marry her son. "Nefertiri, is something troubling you? You seem awfully distant tonight."

"Oh, no, Your Majesty, I-I was just thinking about—"

"Your son."

My eyes grow wide. I gasp in shock. "Queen Solori, I—How did you know?!"

"I knew about your son the minute you had him… Nothing gets by me in my palace."

"… If you know about my son, then you must also know that I can't marry Atem. Why did you even choose me in the first place?"

"Nefertiri, I chose you because you are meant to be with my son. You, dear, are right for him in every way. Don't you see the way his face lights up when he looks at you?" She sighs heavily. "You can still marry him, sweetheart."

"But what about—"

"Your son will be fine. You can bring him into the Royal Family, as well, no questions asked."

"But—"

"IF anyone should have a problem with that, they can personally take it up with me." I look down, and she places a hand on my shoulder. "If you choose not to, that's fine as well. He's in very capable hands with the Priests of Ra."

I sigh heavily and shake my head as I continue to look down at the ground. I can't think of anything I can possibly say right now.

"Nefertiri… you're a good mother," she says before turning and leaving me to my thoughts.

I stare at the moon shining over the river for a while before Atem finds me. "I figured you'd be out here."

I yawn and stretch. "I was just about to retire for the night."

"Are you all right, Nefertiri? You seem plagued by something." Am I wearing a sign?

"I'm fine, Atem. Don't worry about me," I reply as I start to walk back toward the palace.

"Here, let me walk you to your room," he says as he catches up to me and wraps his arms around my waist. I swallow as the ache gets worse. We walk gingerly to the servants' quarters and further to my room. We stop at my door. He smiles down at me. "Good night, Nefertiri."

I smile weakly back at him. "Night, Atem."

"May Serapis (3) bless you with sweet dreams… I'll see you tomorrow," he says before kissing me and leaving.

I enter my room. Jessenia is already fast asleep on her pallet next to me. I wipe the salt off my bed and lie down. I try desperately to get some sleep so that I may look well-rested for the wedding tomorrow, but I can't. My mind keeps racing. I finally sit back up and just cry for the rest of the night.

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1-Cats were highly revered pets in Egypt and considered the embodiments of Bastet, also known as Bast, the cat goddess of the home. She protected cats and their caretakers.

2-Khonsu: God of the Moon

3-Serapis: God of dreams

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Thank you for reading. Please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning


	4. Unholy Matrimony

Unholy Matrimony

It is the wedding day. I am so nervous. All of Egypt will be there. Atem and I will be married and then crowned directly afterward. Then the entire kingdom will feast with us. I hope the people accept me as their Queen. I love this empire dearly and only want the best.

The ceremony is going to be gorgeous. Mother has had a silk wedding gown with gold trimming brought in. It is absolutely beautiful. I've never seen anything like it in my life. They are going to tie around me in a special design and clasp it with solid gold pins from Nubia. I cannot believe they are doing all this. I can't help feeling unworthy of such lavish treatment. The royal attendants who were once my comrades have come to help me dress. They are all so nice. They tell me all these lovely stories about how everyone is awaiting my debut. They say that everyone wants me as their queen. It is sheer relief to hear that.

The attendants tie the silk garb around me. It is so tight I can barely breathe. They work the clasps into the gown to help it keep hold. The final result is beautiful. There are no straps or arm coverings, and the cloth completely covers my back and the scars there. It goes to my ankles and then about 20 hands (1) onto the floor. They decide to put my hair up "show off your lovely curves." I never knew I had curves. The cloth I ware to do the servants' work is loose so that I can move around comfortably. I've never had my hair up, either. I've never felt the need.

They begin to put my hair up. That bun is so heavy; my head aches from its weight. I now regret letting my hair grow out, but only for a few moments. The attendants give compliments at every turn. It's ridiculous. I have never received so many praises in all my life as I have in the past few moments.

After I am dressed and readied, the servants leave me be so that I may gather my thoughts. I instinctively put my hand to my lower stomach. I have been bleeding non-stop for about a week. I have asked Mut about this, and I have received only dark omens. I can only assume that I have lost my baby. I am relieved and sickened by my thoughts at the same time. I had no idea of the price I had to pay to marry the man I love.

Queen Solori enters. I turn to face her and see her smiling at me. "Nefertiri, dear, you are absolutely beautiful. You should show it more often."

I feel myself blushing. "Oh, I… I'm not accustomed to wearing such fine clothing. This is all too much."

"I assure you this all too LITTLE. No expense will be spared to bring new daughter and the Queen of Egypt into the family. I want you to feel welcome. Truly welcome."

"I feel more than welcome."

Her smile grows. "I'm glad." She reaches out to hug me. I am shocked to but quickly regain my wits and return the embrace. She seems reluctant to let go. I don't mind. "I'm finally going to have a little girl, and my son is going to have the woman of his dreams." Tears start to brim her eyes. I have to blink back my own tears. She's so loving, kind, and gentle. Everyone adores her, and with good reason. She takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes. "Come now, it's time for the ceremony." I can't believe that she would actually accept me into her family, knowing the secret that I've kept so long. I can't help but wonder if she knows about my current predicament.

I have lost track of time. "Oh, yes it is. My goodness, how quickly time seems to have passed. We should get going." We leave abruptly. The wedding corridor is huge! Never in my life have I seen a room this big! All of Egypt could fit in here, which I'm sure is the purpose. Everyone is in here, and it seems as though they have been waiting for me.

I freeze right where I stand. I can't do this. Queen Solori nudges me from behind. "Go on, now." My feet take control of me as I make my way to where Atem and the Priest of Ra are standing. It takes all my grace and balance not to trip over the cloth. My heart is fluttering, and my breathing—if I can call it that—is shallow at best. Everyone has risen and is staring at me. I feel myself turning bright red. I finally reach Atem and the priest.

"We may begin," the priest says in an authoritative tone. I swallow the lump in my throat. I know I will have to speak. "Atem, Nefertiri, you are to be joined in the sight of Ra and the Kingdom of Greater Egypt. Do the parents of the husband object in any way?" He looks to Pharaoh Aknamkanon, who shakes his head to mean he has no objection. The priest looks to Queen Solori, who nods in her approval.

"The bridge's parents cannot be in attendance," he says, which is nice way of saying that I am without parents because I'm an orphan. "If you please, join hands." We do so. "In the sight of Ra and the Gods of Old, I ask this man: Do you wish to marry this woman, to love, cherish, and protect her, now and forever after?"

He smiles at me and then look to the priest. "I wish to."

"In the sight of Ra and the Gods of Egypt, I ask this woman: Do you wish to marry this man: to love, cherish, and nurture him, now and forever more?" I pause as I think about the baby and how, if I choose to do this, I will have to hide him and his identity, IF I am indeed still expecting at all. I think about my son and how I'd have to abandon him. I know I can still be a mother to him, but I won't be able to tell anyone who he really is to me. But the look in Atem's eyes tells me that everything will work itself out in due time, and that I shouldn't try to rush things.

I look at Atem, smile brightly, and reply, "Yes, I wish to marry him." Atem smiles back at me.

"Then in the name of Ra, I pronounce you husband and wife. The rings, please." Atem slips the most beautiful ring on my finger. It is a thin, white gold band with a lovely diamond in the center. I put a simple white gold band on his finger. "You may kiss the bride." He grabs my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck. He dips me and kisses me. It is the most magical, meaningful, passionate kiss I've ever experienced. The kiss itself makes me want him to take me right here. Time seemingly stops. It's like we're in our own little world. I love this feeling. The instantaneous, resounding thunders of cheer and applause from the people finally bring us back to reality. He reverse dips me back to my feet. I blink and look upon the faces of the people. They are smiling and cheering. They look genuinely happy to see us together.

We are then ushered to the throne room to be crowned. The Guardians pledge their undying allegiance to us, and we in turn take a blood oath to do right by them and the people. We are counseled on our rights and duties, and made aware of the strict penalties against treason or unjustified war. Our various Councils are also named on this day, and we are allowed a few minutes to introduce ourselves formally.

We are rushed to the feasting table. It is the longest thing I have ever seen! Everyone in the kingdom could be seated comfortably and THEN have sufficient room to move around. To top it all off, the whole table is filled with food. Exotic dishes from all over the world are being served here. It's amazing. I am escorted down the length of the table. I can only hope I don't trip and fall. Two servants pull out my chair; I quickly take my seat and take a series of deep breaths. I made it; I didn't trip or fall. Thank Ra. Atem is seated on my left, then come the king and queen. Queen Solori is on my right; the king on Atem's left. People start filing in and sitting down. Once everyone is seated, we perform a silent prayer to bless the food and begin to eat. Smiles and laughter soon fill the room. I am so full from drinking in the moments that I barely touch all the wonderful food. Besides, maybe if I stop eating as an expectant woman should, I could lose the baby and stop having to worry about lying to Atem. I feel like a horrible person and a failure as a mother. As I am enjoying a nice chat with Mother, Atem looks at my plate, and a worried expression becomes his face. "Nefertiri?"

"Yes, love?"

"Why aren't you eating? Is everything okay? You're not feeling sick, are you?"

So many questions. I don't know where to begin. "To be honest, I never really eat much of anything and all, and besides, I'm having way more fun talking. I assure you I'm fine, and I would tell you if something were wrong."

"That's going to have to change. From now on, you'll feast like this every meal."

My eyes grow wide, and I blink. I couldn't eat this much in a moon cycle, but now EVERY meal? Surely he's jesting. "Atem, you cannot be serious. I don't meant to overstep my boundaries as your wife, but I can't possibly eat all this; I could barely put a dent in it."

"You have no boundaries, and I can't let you be malnourished. If you go on like this, you'll be nothing but skin and bones by the time you're twenty."

I take a deep breath and look to the heavens for strength. I start to eat, but I soon neglect it. I never liked arguments, and I'm always willing to forgive, no matter the transgression. I decide to grin and bear it for the simple fact that I know he has my best interest at heart. Then I realize that I might not have to lose the baby to be able to lie about his identity at all. If I just have him when I am supposed to, no one will know that anything happened before I was married. Hopefully that will work. I would hate to lose my child to an arranged marriage, even if my chosen husband is the most amazing man alive.

By the end of the meal, we are all stuffed like ticks. Each person comes to give us congratulations and wish us well, then leaves to their home. It is well past dark when everyone is back. Atem and I help clean up and then walk slowly hand-in-hand back to his room. I find myself silently and steadfastly praying that I have stopped bleeding, at least until after we have consummated.

We stop at his door, and I turn my back so I can face him. He comes closer, so close, in fact, that his skin barely touches mine, and I can feel his gentle body heat. My breathing slows. He smirks and leans closer to me. I really want him to kiss me now. I feel as though he senses my desire, because he wraps his arms around me and kisses me. I close my eyes and kiss him back. He stops way too soon. He pulls back and brings his mouth to my ear. "Nefertiri," he says in a soft, sexy voice which makes me shiver.

"Y-Yes, A-A-t-tem?" My voice is shaky and strained.

"It's time for the wedding night, isn't it?" he asks as he begins to move lower and kiss my neck. I quiver with need.

"Yes…" He picks me up and takes me to his room.

After hours and hours of beautiful, exalted lovemaking, we fall asleep in each other's arms. I am happy when I realize that my body did not betray me like it normally does and that I had stopped bleeding. I didn't start back until Atem finished doing what he does so well, but that is to be expected.

* * *

I wake up to find Atem gone. I pull the covers up over me and get out of bed. I look around everywhere. "Atem? Atem, where are you?"

He comes out of a room which I later discover to be the washroom. He comes and hugs me, holds me. "I was taking my morning both, love."

I hug him back and take in his heat. He is so comforting as he strokes my hair. "I was worried."

He takes my chin so that I can look into his violet eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispers softly as he leans in to kiss me. I pull away to gather my clothing and get dressed. I turn make my way to bed, when suddenly, the cover slides off me. I scream, blush heavily, and turn back to see Atem with the most devilish smirk glowing on his face. "I wasn't done yet," he says, moving toward me.

I close my eyes as he kisses me. I moan when his hands begin to explore my body once again. I pull him back down with him and straddle him. I kiss him once more before I do to him what he did to me last night.

Atem and I lay like this for a long while. Neither of us will let the other go. I out his huge window, past the balcony, and on to the Mother Nile (2). He lowers his head and puts his ear to my heart. My curiosity has been peaked. "What are you doing, love?"

"Listening to your heart. It's like a melody." I blink rapidly. That was beautiful, the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. We spend the rest of the day here. No one seems to mind. I breathe deeply and close my eyes to everything but Atem…

* * *

1-20 hands: Hands were an ancient measurement literally equal to the length of a grown man's hand, about 6 inches.

2-Mother Nile: The Nile is believed to be the cradle of Egyptian civilization and the source of all Egyptian life.

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Reviews are appreciated.

Dead Reckoning


	5. New Blood

Enjoy!

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New Blood

Six months have passed since Atem and I were married. I hadn't lost the baby as I thought I would. I only have about one and a half months left until I give birth. I keep hoping and praying that something does happen. I can't stand the thought of lying to Atem or this child its whole life.

I lie awake for hours on end. I think about how I've already done Atem terribly wrong, making him think that this baby is his. I know in my mind and body that I should leave now, that I should have never married Atem in the first place. I should save him from having to spend a lifetime with the likes of me.

But I also know in my heart that I love Atem, and I also know that he loves me more than anything. I know that he cares for me and always wants to be near me. I know he cherishes me and holds me in high regard.

Atem tightens his arms around me. I yawn and stare up at the ceiling. I have no idea what to do. I am not going to sabotage my condition in any way, shape, or form to lose my baby. If I have to have this child in same, I will have my child in shame. I don't want to lie to Atem, either. And there is no way I can simply leave him and go back to servitude. Yes, it seems having this child is the lesser of the two evils.

I turn over as Atem tightens his arms again. I stare out at the river until I feel sleep overtake me.

I wake up to the baby moving all around inside my stomach. I rub my belly for a while to soothe it. I eventually find the will to get up and wash. After I dress, I make my way to the throne room. Atem and I are to host a huge ceremony wherein Atem announces the news of my pregnancy.

Atem looks up at me and smiles. "Nefertiri, you're finally up."

"Good morning."

"You mean good afternoon, love." I can feel myself blushing as I take my place on the throne next to him. He takes my hand in his, and we enjoy a peaceful moment with one another. I rest my head on his shoulder and wait for something to happen.

The Chief Priest to Osiris enters. "Your Highnesses, the ceremony is about to begin soon. Perhaps you should start getting ready."

"Perhaps we should." He rises, and brings me up with him. We make our way back up to our room and dawn our royal attire. An agonizing cramp hits me right as the baby kicks. I grimace and release a slight groan. Atem rushes over toward me. "Nefertiri, are you all right, love?"

I mask my pain as I have learned to do so well over the years. "I'm quite all right, my King. Don't worry about me."

"I worry about you because I love you."

I smile. "I love you, too. Are you ready to go?"

He nods and hugs me. "Yes, love, lets go." He takes my hand and leads me to the Summoning Arena. We take our seats, and the crowd becomes completely silent. Atem checks to make sure I'm all right. Despite my unparalleled cramps, slight fever, and nausea, I tell him I'm fine. And thanks to my façade, he easily believes me.

As he begins his opening address, my attention fades in and out. Something is going on with the baby. I can feel it, but I have no idea what it is. I'm starting to worry myself. I experience problems when I was expecting with my son, but nothing like this. Maybe I was losing my baby. But why so late? Stress perhaps? I don't know. I just have to make it through the ceremony, and then I can go to the Healer for help.

As Atem delivers the news to a happily stunned audience, I keep telling myself to stay calm. I manage pretty well, considering. I take a few deep breaths and stands as he releases us for the celebration feast. We make our way to the Dining Hall, hand-in-hand as always, and take our seats so that everyone else can sit down.

I eat slowly and deliberately, but my stomach begins to turn in on itself. I'm not sure I can take much more of this. I find myself praying to the Gods to end this soon, and they listen. Atem releases the people, and I prepare myself for the well-wishers. Many of them bring me gifts and advice, and I take it all to heart. When it is all over, I tell Atem that I'm going to the palace temple to pray for the baby's safe arrival. I do intend to do that, just after I see the Healer.

I make my way into the Healer's chambers. "Good afternoon, Shadi." I smile and bow slightly to him.

"Oh, Your Highness! A pleasure to see you." He rises and bows deeply before me. I nod in my approval and follow him to sit. "What brings you to me today?"

"I'm having problems with the baby. I think something's going on, and I'm scared," I say, surprised at the tears welling in my eyes. "I was hoping that maybe you could help me."

"Well of course, Your Grace. Here, let me see something." He checks my pulse and other vitals, then he rubs my stomach to feel the baby's kicks. He appears to be deep in thought. I hope it's nothing too serious, but I know it probably is. "I think that you're just under a lot of stress. You need to be on bed rest. Try not to do any strenuous work. I'll tell the Pharaoh to have someone—"

"NO, don't tell Atem! He worries enough about me as it is. I'll just have you stay in the suite with me. Atem will just think that I'm being cautious. He won't mind. I know he won't. Come, I'll help you take some of your things."

"Oh, no, my Queen. There's no need. I pack lightly." Shadi gets up and grabs a tarp with some bottles in it. He then goes and gathers some clothing and wraps it up in a blanket. "Besides, I said no strenuous work. Here, let me." He opens the door and leads me out and back to our rooms. I help him put his things away and get acquainted with everything. He comments on how lovely everything is. I thank him and go to lie down. Just then I remember that I forgot to go to the Temple. I not-so-quickly rise and make my way out to do so. I pray that my baby stays safe and that I can calm down. I also ask for a safe delivery and birth, and that it may live a long, healthy life.

I receive a message from Mut who tells me that my baby will be just fine. That does my heart a world of good. But then I receive a bad omen from Meskhenet. A sacred Scarab beetle comes scuttling toward me only to be captured and eaten by a scorpion. That can only mean one thing. My life will be endangered during childbirth. I look down. I can only pray that Isis will spare me this horrible fate. I pray to my Divine Mother for salvation from this horrible fate. I am given a good sign from the Goddess and the news that my baby has the blood of Horus. I can't believe that the child is Atem's! This is the most wonderful news.

I have no idea how this baby can be Atem's because he never touched me before we were married, but I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I rise slowly and leave the temple. I return to my room and a worried Shadi and Atem. "Where were you?" Atem asks, the rage in his voice present and mounting.

I cross my arms. "I was praying, in the temple. I told you that," I respond calmly.

Atem quickly calms himself. "I'm sorry for being so angry with you. I was just worried. Please forgive me."

"It's quite all right. I understand."

"Why is Shadi here? Is there something wrong with the baby?"

"Oh, no," I lie, "I just feel better having him here."

"Understood. He's told me that you need to be on bed rest for a while. So climb into bed and I'll have the servants cater to you," he says, ushering me to bed.

"Fine, fine," I reply, climbing in and making myself comfortable, "but I'm coming to dinner. Got it?"

He sighs heavily, knowing it to be a lost cause. "Yes, Love." He leaves to attend the remainder of his duties for the day.

I ask Shadi to hand me the scriptures I've been studying, and he obliges. I make use of the time from now until dinner reading to myself. I am still deeply interested in the Priesthood and haven't lost all desires to be a High Priestess.

The next thing I know, I awaken to find my papyri on a nearby table. I must have been asleep for a while, long enough for Shadi to come and take them from me. Just as I call out to check on him, Atem comes in and announces that it's time for the evening meal. I rise and dress quickly, dawning my most of my jewelry. I look down at my swollen ankles. I know from experience that I will not be able to make the walk all the way to the Dining Hall, not without help. I ask Atem and Shadi to help me, and they gladly agree.

We make our way there and take our seats. I recite the opening prayers, as I always do, and we begin to eat. I must say the food is absolutely amazing. I am sure to give my compliments to the cooks. I eat and eat until I am completely stuffed. When we are finished, I volunteer to help clean up, which solicits quick and adamant response from Shadi that I should not overtax my body. So I sit quietly while I allow Atem and the rest to do their work.

Once they are finished, they help me rise and head back to our bedroom. I think I shall take a bath; that always helps me feel better. On the way, my thoughts are interrupted by a guard. "Your Highnesses, there is a noblewoman here to see you. She will not leave until she speaks with the Queen."

"Who in the house of Geb (1) could be visiting at THIS time of night?" I ask, utterly confused.

"She is a noblewoman, formerly a member of the Pharaoh's court. Will you be seeing her?"

"I might as well. If she's not leaving… send her to the Throne Room, if you please."

"Yes, my Lady." He bows and leaves. Atem and Shadi turn me around and help me to the Throne Room.

"Are you sure you're up for this, Your Majesty?" Shadi asks, concerned.

"I'll be fine, Shadi. Whatever the issue, we'll talk it out calmly. No need for alarm."

"If you're sure, but I'd feel better if the Pharaoh and I accompany you. I have a bad feeling about this." I take a deep breath. Shadi has never been wrong before. I rub my stomach and take a few deep breaths. Atem and I help me to the throne room.

"Send her in." I command, taking my seat. I rub my belly some more as the guards bring in the noble. She stalks right up to me and slaps me in the face. My mouth gapes in sock. Who did this woman think she was, striking me, her Queen? I rise to mount a counter when Atem grabs her. Shadi motions me to sit and calm down. "What is wrong with you? What have I done to anger you so?"

"What have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" she screams, "You took my husband from me, you horrible bitch! I should have been married to the Pharaoh, not you! I should be expecting his child, not you. That should be me."

"I don't know what you mean. I've been promised to Atem since I was nineteen, and I haven't heard Solori mention anyone else in line to be Atem's wife. Now if you would kindly explain to me what you're talking about, I'm sure we can come to a civil solution to this matter," I tell her through my icy glare.

"I'll be glad to. When I was fourteen, my father, the King of Persia, sent me to Egypt to be wed to the Prince Atem, but his whoring mother backed out on in favor of YOU. A lowly servant slut who's done nothing for the throne or my country. I promise you, when I get back to Persia, I WILL declare war on Egypt, I WILL win, and I WILL marry Atem. And I will have you killed. But in the meantime I'll have to settle for that little bastard inside you." She begins to chant. I recognize it immediately: dark magic.

I inhale deeply, as Shadi moves to protect me. "Don't you dare, you horrible wretch! I'll match you spell for spell." He wraps his arms around me in an anxious embrace. Suddenly an agonizingly sharp pain cuts into my belly. She must have cast her spell already. I double over and my eyes begin to release tears of blood before I completely lose consciousness.

* * *

I awaken to a stabbing pain in my right temple. Shadi, a few handmaidens, my most trusted midwife, and a few priestesses of the Queen Mother and other Goddesses are at my bedside, but no Atem. I instinctively put a hand to my stomach and am shocked to find it flat again. "Oh my Ra. My baby, she's killed my baby!" I scream.

"Shhh…" Shadi calms me, "No, she hasn't. The baby is fine, with the Pharaoh. She's fine."

"It's a girl?"

"It is, and she's very healthy. Do not worry yourself with that woman. She's been taken care of. She'll never endanger you again. Would you like to see your daughter?"

"Oh yes of course. I'll see to her." I move to get up.

"Oh, no, your Highness. You shouldn't be moving around. You're still very weak. You almost died, and I don't recommend any activity for a few days. Everyone is on high alert to make sure you and the baby are well taken care of. I'll get the Pharaoh," he says before leaving.

I ask some of the handmaidens to help me make a support for my aching back. They happily oblige, and moments after I lie back Atem comes in with the baby. "Nefertiri! I'm so glad you're okay. They said I almost lost you."

"I'm fine," I reply before he hands me the baby. She's so beautiful. She opens her eyes and smiles at me. Deep ocean blue, just like mine. I smile down at her. "She's precious. She looks just like you…"

"What will you name her?"

"I was thinking Alexandria," I answer as she snuggles up to me and makes herself comfortable. I begin to feed her, and she falls asleep peacefully in my arms. I look up at Atem. "Do you like that?"

"It's a wonderful name, love. How are you feeling?"

"I'm well. I need to check on the nurses and—"

"You need to rest."

"I've been asleep for… how long?" Shadi holds three fingers up. "Three days. I assure you I'll be quite all right. The second I begin to feel fatigued I'll take a break. All right?"

"Fine, fine, fine. Just make sure you don't overexert yourself."

"I won't. Stop worrying all the time."

"Like I tell you all the time, I worry because I love you."

"And I love you, too." I rise without soliciting a single whimper from the baby. Atem looks at me, dumbstruck. "It's a gift," I answer before leaving.

I make my way into our rooms and further on into the baby's room, right next to ours. I lay her down in a bassinet after she's done eating and sit down in a chair next to her. I watch her sleep. She's so precious, so beautiful.

I love my daughter, more than anything. Except my son. They are both equal in my eyes. Both flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. The only difference is that one of them was born into royalty, the other out of a vicious act of a sick man. I only wish that I could have given Anon the same love and care that I give Alexandria. It's not fair that one of them lives in the lap of luxury, while the other leads only a subservient lifestyle.

I sigh to myself and look at her. I decide that tonight I will go see to my son. But I will not tell him the truth. He is too young for that. Only when the time is right. I close my eyes and drift away into my daydreams.

My dreams turn into nightmares. I awaken, horrified, at the thought of that woman harming my children. I struggle to calm my racing heart. Relief rushes over me as I see Alex sleeping peacefully in her bed.

I get up and walk into my own bedroom. I walk out onto the balcony and look at the Life Flow. The river is so majestic. It helps me clear my head and heart.

The baby stirs and whimpers. I snap out of myself and go into her room, pick her up, and cradle her. She smiles and opens her bright eyes. I look down into them and see the future: of my marriage, my Kingdom, and myself. I'm happy with the vision… for now.

* * *

I apologize for the long hiatus. I had to change a few things around, and then I got busy with school and all that.

Thank you for reading. Please leave a review!

Dead Reckoning


	6. Golden Sapphires

I decided that this chapter might fit better here. Enjoy! And thank you SO much Jos! You've inspired me again. I was beginning to think no one was reading.

But enough of me. Let's get on with the story!

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Chapter 5:

Golden Sapphires

I look down at Anon and watch him gaze at the baby in my arms. He giggles and kisses her cheek. "Baby…" He smiles up at the two of us. I motion for him to climb up on my lap, and he happily obliges. I wrap my free arm around him as he puts his head to my chest. He seems so content as he listens to my breathing.

"You hear that, sweetie?" His golden eyes look up into my ocean blues. "Nut (1) is giving me her gift of life…" The awe in his eyes is so cute. He closes his eyes and leans against me.

Holding my children close to me, all I can think about is the torture I had to go through to have them…

My mind brings me back to the first day The Priests noticed me. I had been running errands for them for a while, but they never seemed to pay me any attention. Until that day…

_They have me make a pot with an image of Ra engraved into it. I bring it to them, as they asked, and when I turn to leave, they beckon me back to them. "Nefertiri…" the chief priest says in a sing-song voice I came to hate over the years. "Come here, my pretty…"_

_I do as I am told. Suddenly they grab me and force me to the wall. One of them pins me with his body as he kisses me. His tongue prods its way into my mouth and throat. I squirm and start to cry. He lets me breathe soon after. Another makes his way through the crowd and takes pleasure in licking my tears. It revolts me, makes me want to vomit. I try to stop crying, but to look at their faces, the hunger in their eyes, it just wrenches up more tears and agony._

_They rip my cloth from me and take turns touching me and grabbing me. They pinch and poke their way inside me. I writhe and try to escape them to no avail. They decide to stop this game and play another. "Who should get the first real taste of her?"_

"_I think it should be Ahmenhotep… after all he's the one who brought this jewel to us…"_

"_You are too much, but since you insist…" Ahmenhotep steps forward from the group, and presses his body to mine. He removes his own cloth and lets his body heat mingle with mine. I whimper and feel him throbbing against my thigh. I know what's coming, but I can't believe this. _

_With a grunt, he forces his erection into me. I find myself sniveling as he thrusts himself inside me over and over, each time harder than the last. He touches my breasts and kisses me. I bite my lip and plead for him to stop. He responds by tracing my waist with his fingertips. It's all I can do not to scream. I realize he's gotten lost within me. I know there's no hope now. I look out at the hungry stares of the others, patiently awaiting their turns with me. _

_After what seems like an eternity, he realizes his seed inside me and lets me go. I am barely able to control the urge to throw up. My head is aching; my tears mix with their sweat on my skin. _

_Before I know what's going on, the next lifts me up and slams me into the wall. I swallow and as I begin to catch my breath, he slides inside me as well. I find myself crying frantically for him to stop. He absolutely won't. I listen as Ahmenhotep describes the feel of me to the rest of them. I try to reason with them, but the one who is violating me now slaps me and tells me to shut up and take him in, which insights him to pound that much harder. I cry and cry, beg him to stop._

_He finishes at last. "That's enough now. Let's let her recover before we have more fun with her…" Ahmenhotep says. But even still, he comes closer. He picks me up and throws me to the ground. "Now let's make sure you don't tell anyone, shall we?" The next thing I know, he kicks me as hard as he can, in my stomach. The others begin to follow suit. I lose consciousness soon. _

_I wake up after Ra knows how long. I cough up blood and struggle to get up. My headache begins to impair my vision. After a while, I get used to the blur and make my way to my cloth. I wrap it around my body haphazardly once I get a good look at my wounds. I vomit on the floor and fall back down. Eventually I manage to get back up, but have to crawl to the hallway and across the palace to the servants' quarters. I don't know how no one noticed me. But, I often go unnoticed back then. _

_I find my room and collapse in the doorway. I can't make the few extra hands' worth to my pallet. I find myself staring up at the stone ceiling and praying to Isis to answer me why, why they would do this to me. They're supposed to be Priests, servants of the Gods. Why would they want to hurt me so? I can't seem to find an answer. But I do come across the strength to get up and go to my pallet. _

_My back is killing me, not to mention the other parts of me. I start to feel a warm liquid pooling beneath me. I put my fingers there to figure out what it is. Blood. I begin to feel pangs on the inside. Tears begin to slip from my eyes as I lie back down. I struggle to think of something else, but everything my mind conjures up brings me back to those horrible hours. The more I try to fight it, the more I think about it. _

_I finally submit and begin to wonder how long this will go on. I know not all of them have … had me, so I know it must last until at least then. I can't number them exactly, but I do know that there are at least 20 of them. That many is agonizing. _

_Just as I begin to make peace with myself and what they've done, I hear someone slip into my room. I gasp once I see that it's Ahmenhotep again. "I…"_

"_Shhh…" he tries to quiet me, "I know I said that we should wait until you heal some, but I just can't resist. You felt so good I had to have you again."_

"_No, please, I…" I try to back away but only land against the wall. _

"_There, there, I'll be gentle…" He moves closer and disrobes himself. I look at his body and his manhood, ready to push his way inside me again. He pulls my robe from off my battered form and joins me on my pallet. "Now let's see how well you've healed." He forces his body on top of mine and pins me down. _

_Ahmenhotep begins to touch me again, paying particular attention to my breasts. His hands wander down my stomach and further to my womanhood. He [pokes] his way inside me and feels around. Once he gets his feel, he removes his extremities and decides to consummate us again. He thrusts himself inside me and I release a cry. That not only doesn't stop him, but it seems to encourage me. I try to block him out, but it's as if he knows what I'm doing. "Doesn't this feel good, my sweet? I'm making a woman out of you now… don't you like that? You've always wanted to become a woman, haven't you?" _

_I shake my head and look up at the ceiling. I see the carvings of the Gods. I try again to discern the reasoning behind this, but I just can't. I let him have his way and eventually drift off into other thoughts. _

_Eventually, he tires of me, or at least reaches his climax. He pulls out of me and strokes my face. "There, now, didn't you enjoy me? I know you did, you don't have to admit it…" I continue to cry and look up, away from him. He leaves me soon._

_I find myself praying that this horror ends soon. I don't receive an answer for the life of me. It figures. I've never been fortunate enough to have any good will in my life._

Thinking about that inevitably leads me to remember the time I got pregnant with Anon.

_Ahmenhotep had been sneaking into my room for two years now. It has become routine now. I have learned to block him out as well as what he does to me. Eventually it becomes as if he's not even here. _

_But this time I can't get past it. He is so incredibly rough I can't stand it. He drives and drives into me, ripping me apart from the inside out. This is unbearable. So much pain. My blood mixes with his sweat and other fluids inside me and begins to sting. As usual, he touches me and pinches me. _

_It is only after a few hours that he releases his seed and slides out of me. I turn over with my back to him as he leaves me. I stare at the wall and its carvings and wait for him to leave the room._

_It wasn't until a few weeks after that did I begin to see changes. For one, the Priests weren't raping me. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. But then I began to notice my body changing, too. I was feeling nauseous all the time; I was missing my flow and tasting copper in my mouth. All sorts of strange things. I went to my Priestesses, without telling them what exactly was going on, and had them pray over me. A couple of days later I realize that I'm pregnant. _

_Pregnant. I'm having his baby. This monster has put a child inside me. I can't believe this. I almost won't. I hate the Gods; they've forsaken me. I hate him. I hate them all for doing this to me. I hate them for not stopping themselves. I hate their lust. I hate myself for letting this happen. I feel weak, like a stupid whore. I deserve this._

_I can't be like this. I resolve myself to have my baby and endure the shame that will come along with this. I decide to be strong and love my baby. _

_Telling them, however, was a completely different matter that required and whole other kind of strength. I decide to tell them on the night of Atem's coronation as Prince. I know they would have to be on their best behavior which means that they can't hurt me. I make my way into their chambers just hours before Atem was to be announced._

"_I have something to say…"_

_They looked up from their scrolls. "Yes, my sweet?"_

"_I… I'm… I'm pregnant." I recoil from them. I open one eye just in time to see the rich tan of their faces change to a deep, deep red. I know this would happen, so I run for my life. I know for a fact that if they find me, they'll kill my baby. I run all the way to my room and sit in the corner. _

_I cry and cry the whole night through, until my roommate Seliana comes to tell me that we are needed for serving. I rise and wipe my tears before she can figure that something's wrong with me. I change into my nicest cloth, with a bit of embroidery on the trim. _

_We make our way to the ceremony and take our places, when out of the blue, Selphia, our chief Priestess, announces that I have been personally chosen by the Queen to serve to Prince Atem. My eyes widen, and the rest of the priestesses applaud congratulations. I can't begin to fathom that I will be serving to the Crown Prince of Egypt. I immediately begin to make sure my appearance is in order and take my place next to Atem. _

_He looks at me and smiles. I blush profusely and look away; unfortunately my gaze falls on the Priests who are all glaring at me. I know that once this is over I will have the most severe punishment imaginable. _

_The ceremony goes off without a hitch. Atem is announced and everyone is happy for him. He asks me to serve him only minimally. He even laughs and talks to me. I feel magical, and forget all about my pregnancy and impending fate. _

_But that only lasts a short while. I retire to the servants' quarters and find the priests blocking my way. They grab me and take me to their end of the palace. When we reach the destination, they throw me into the wall and watch me slide down to the floor. Ahmenhotep rapidly approaches and begins kicking and beating me. The others soon follow suit. Eventually I pass out…_

_I wake up back in my room on my pallet. Selphia hovers over me. "Are you all right dear? The priests brought you to me awfully sick. They were really worried about you."_

_I sit up against the pain in my abdomen. "I'm all right… I'd like some time alone, please." Selphia obliges and leaves me be. I find myself praying for my baby against my better instincts. I wish for its survival above all else, even my own. This must be the maternal drive. _

_Soon I am asleep and in Serapis's heavenly realm of dreamscapes, away from all my earthly pains. _

Looking down into my son's golden eyes and my daughter's sapphire ones, I can't help but realize my love for them. Without my kids, I don't think I could have ever made it this far. I wouldn't be married, or have a kingdom, or be truly happy. They are undoubtedly my reason for living. I pat Anon on the head and whisper in his ear, "I love you, sweetheart."

"Mama!!!" He says in response. I smile down at him and nod. He hugs me tight, and a tear falls from my eye. It seems as if I will never really be his mother, just an obscure woman in his life. But looking back on it, it wasn't too long ago that I couldn't have even been that. The fact that I am here now makes me feel that much better, and gives me hope for our future together…

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1-Nut: Goddess of the sky, which means air, too.

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I know it's a little soon, but I couldn't resist. And I'm sorry about making the coronation ceremony so short, I couldn't think of much else to say about that. Please review!

Dead Reckoning


	7. The Lighthouse

I figured I'm on a roll. Why not? And I realized that I completely left this chapter out because I'm an idiot.

The other chapters will be back up soon. And I've decided on a new schedule. I'll update once a month or so. Maybe more if I'm on a role again.

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Chapter 6:

The Lighthouse

Six more months have passed since I had the baby. Things have been going smoothly, much to my relief. Anon and I have gotten steadily closer, but of course not as much as I would like. Alex is growing fast. She can already talk, crawl, and is already starting to try to walk. I'm so proud of her. And Anon is really taking a liking to her.

Atem has also grown into his duties as Pharaoh, and I have come into my own as Queen. I work on diplomatic missions and good will trips out into the kingdom. Our lands have expanded greatly. We now rule everything from Nubia, to Persia, out into the desert and across the sea to parts of Rome and even Greece. We can hardly keep up with our subjects. Each of them teaches us new things about their culture. I'm learning so much, and they are assimilating well.

I sigh as I head out to the balcony. An important ceremony is going to be held today to commission the opening of the port city Alexandria, built to honor our daughter's birth. I'm surprised to say the least. To do such a thing for a princess, who can't ascend the throne, is peculiar for sure. I'm not sure what the ceremony is for, but I know I have to go. I sit down on my favorite chair and put my legs up.

Atem comes in with the baby. He sits her down and lets her crawl to me. "Good morning, honey. How are you?"

"I'm fine, love. I just came to get ready for the ceremony. You should do the same."

"It doesn't take me as long to get ready as it does you." I get up anyway. I pick up the baby and take her over to our bed. I kiss her cheek and go to my dressing tables. I change into one of my better cloths and have Atem tie it tightly around me. I put up my hair and dawn what seems like my enormous headdress. I slide on my arm bands, pull my necklace around me, snap on my wrist guards, and adjust my wedding rings. "Be a dear and send in my lady in waiting, will you?" I ask Atem with a kiss.

"Of course, sweetie." He leaves me with the baby. I figure now is as good a time as any. I change her waste cloth and find a gold-embroidered dressing cloth for her to wear. I wrap it around her and tie it beneath her chubby little arm. I kiss her cheek which solicits a giggle from her, and set her back down. Just then I realize that her reddish black curls need a little combing. I gather my baby combs and oil to tame her mane.

I sit her down on my lap and give her some of my old jewelry to keep her still. I rub the warm oil on her hair and comb it just so. Once I am satisfied with her look, I put her back down on the bed.

My lady enters the room. "Good morning, Your Grace."

"Good morning, Calise. It's good to see you. I need some help with my makeup."

"Of course, my Queen." I walk over to my dressing tables and sit in a chair. Calise comes over as well and assembles my makeup in better working order. She instructs me to close my eyes, and while I do so, she applies eye hue. She lets me know I can open them, then applies rouge to my face. A little shine on my lips completes her artistry. She hands me a mirror to look at, and once I deem my looks satisfactory, she leaves, but not without playing with the baby for a second. I smile and bid her farewell for now.

She crawls towards me and almost falls off the bed. Before she can make it that far, I rush to the edge of the bed and grab her. She giggles and claps her little hands. I smile in relief and take her out to the window. I watch her as she waves at the people in the boats below us and looks out past the river at the other ends of the city. She smiles at the sights and enjoys taking it all in. I enjoy her company.

I decide to pass the time with her until the early evening hours. We have to leave for the ceremony at around sunset. "Let's play a game, huh, Alex?"

She shows me her shiny pink gums in a smile. I sit her on a chair and lean over the edge in front of her. I put my hands in front of my face. "Where's Mommy?"

She giggles before I take my hands out of my face. "There she is!"

"Where's Mommy? … There she is!"We play this game for a while. Soon I find my stomach growling, and the baby is starting to get a little fussy, "Let's go get some lunch, huh?"I rise and pick her up.

We make our way to the Dining Hall where I tell the cooks what I want for the midday meal. While I way, I sit down in my seat and begin to feed the baby. Slowly she begins to fall asleep. I can't ask for a better daughter. She's so sweet and curious; she always gets into everything.

As the food arrives, I adjust her in my arms and say a prayer to bless the food. I must admit that this is some of the best cuisine I've tasted in quite a while. It's so good I have to eat slowly to make sure I savor every delicious bite. I let out a sad sigh once I'm finished. A cook asks me what's wrong, and I tell him that the food was so good. He asked me if I'd like some more, but I tell him I don't want to be a gluttonous pig.

A moment later I begin to regret my decision. I help clean up to the chagrin of the servants and decide to take a walk around the palace. I start on the far end and am going to work my way up.

I look down at the river and the fish swimming. Alex seems to be enchanted by them. She stares in awe. I sit her down with her legs dangling in the water. She splashes her feet and laughs as the fish swim by and nibble her toes.

I pick her up and take her to the lotus blossoms at the other end of the palace, near our rooms. She points to a red one, and I pull it out of the water for her. She holds it in her little hands and admires it. I decide that it's late enough to go back inside, so I leave the river.

As I arrive in our rooms, Atem takes the baby from me and kisses me with such an intense passion I'm left to wonder what he's been thinking this whole time. "Are you ready to go, lover?"

"Yes, my King." I look down at myself to make sure everything is in order, and check to see that Alex is ready, too. Once I'm satisfied, we head out and to Temple. We go in and kneel before the statues of our respective Gods. Atem prays to Ra, and I ask for a blessing from Isis.

We finish, and make our way to the shipyard. We arrive just in time. There aren't too terribly many passengers making the journey with us, although I wouldn't have minded that much more if there were a lot going with us. Atem and I take our special seats and command the shipmaster to sail to Alexandria.

While on the voyage, I get lost in my thoughts. I can't help but think about Anon. I'm upset about leaving him behind, but I know that to bring him would arouse a lot of unnecessary attention to me. I trust that he's in … capable hands with the Priests. That's about as much as I can give them, or will.

Soon we approach the outskirts of Alexandria. I breathe a sigh of relief. In a little bit we approach the grounds of the most AMAZING sight my eyes have ever laid witness to. A giant lighthouse has been built right at the port entrance to the city.

This is so wonderful, I can't even begin to describe it. Never in all my life have I imagined that such a marvelous thing could be built by human hands.

Everyone exits the ship, and Atem helps me off. I take his hand and step down to a warm greeting. I smile and bow my head to them. We make our way to the makeshift throne that has been built for us here. I am still in absolute awe about that building. I can't believe it. It's so magnificent. It absolutely draws everyone's attention. Alex looks up at the building with a tint of wonder in her big blue eyes. I smile down at her. She's so beautiful. I thank the Gods for her.

Once the crowd settles down, Atem stands and begins his oration. "Citizens, I have called you all here today to commission the opening of this beautiful lighthouse you see before you. Let me first start off by saying that this magnificent city was brought to you to honor the birth of our daughter, your Royal daughter, the Princess of Egypt."

"That's you, sweetie!" I whisper in her ear. She giggles as he continues.

"But this lighthouse… This lighthouse was specially made. I had it made to honor the Light of our Kingdom. My lovely wife, your beautiful Queen, Nefertiri; I had it built to show others that when they arrive in Egypt, they will not only be arriving in a vast, powerful kingdom, but that they will also be in the eternally shining light of their queen. Her beauty, her grace, her wisdom; she is a beacon of hope and honor to you all, just as this lighthouse will be a beacon to travelers."

My jaw drops. I am absolutely taken aback. He has had this erected for me? I can't believe it. I shake my head and try to catch my breath. I'm utterly speechless. This is a lot to take in. I put my hand to my mouth, hoping this will hide my shock. I don't think it's working.

"I want you all to enjoy this lighthouse the same way you behold your Queen: with reverence, honor, and respect. I will accept nothing less from you all." This solicits applause from the audience. "Now, go forth where a great feast has been prepared for everyone here to enjoy. I thank you for your time."

I close my eyes and put my hand on my forehead. I can't believe this amazing wonder has been built for me. To honor me. I hardly seem worth it. I take a deep breath and look up at my husband. My amazing husband. My wonderful, sweet, kind, gentle, loving, strong husband. I love him so much. He is too good to me. I sigh and take his hand.

My arms are sore. As if on cue, Atem takes the baby from me. We walk together to the Feasting Rooms. Everyone stands to acknowledge our arrival. We make our way to our seats and sit down. Once a prayer is said, all the food is brought out. We gather our favorites in front of us and begin to eat.

As I am enjoying the meal, I glance up to see the Priests, all huddled together at one table. One in particular is glowering at me. His name is Sethos. He is the new Chief Priest of Ra. I'm not sure what to make of this, but I know it is a bad omen. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen to me. I don't want to face it. I can't. I try to think of other things. The subjects talk to me; I make light conversation with them. I can't thank them enough for encouraging me not think about that other time in my life.

Eventually, the meal is over, and we have to leave. We make our way to the boat and say goodbye to the remaining well-wishers. We take our places again, and I start to shiver. It's awfully cold tonight. Maybe I'm not out at night enough to enjoy it. Another priest, Mahado, notices and brings me a warm blanket. "Thank you, Mahado."

"You're most welcome, my Queen. It's an honor to serve."

"Oh, you're too kind." I give him the customary thank you kiss on the cheek, which solicits a heavy blush from him. "I remember back in the old days, you were the only priest who ever treated me like a human being."

"I saw something great in you. Even if I hadn't, you were still a person and deserve to be treated as such. Nothing less."

I smile up at him. "Please, sit down, let's talk." He obliges, with a heavier blush, and we begin to talk about how the Priesthood has changed since I've become Queen. The Priestesses of Isis have risen to great status. That does my heart a world of good, knowing that they are finally getting the recognition they deserve. We spend the rest of the ride exchanging anecdotes about our lives.

All in all, today was lovely. I would change nothing.

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That should be a nice change of pace. Hope ya'll like it. Oh, and please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning


	8. Violation, I

This chapter originally started off a lot longer, but I decided to break it down into about 5 or 6. I'm not sure yet. And I changed my mind about the updates, too. I'll update when I get a chance, when I'm not busy with schoolwork and what not.

Meanwhile, enjoy!

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Chapter 7:

Violation, I

Three more years have passed since Alexandria was born. They seem to have just flown by. I would give anything to have them all back, but I more than look forward to the future. Alex has made great strides in this short time. She walked before her first birthday. I've been teaching her to read, and she mastered most of it before her second birthday. We have since moved on to writing. She's doing very well. She should be done soon. I never want her to miss out on an opportunity to better herself.

I put Alex to bed and head to the palace temple. Atem has already gone to bed, I go to pray that Alex continues to be a curious child and never gives up the desire to know. I also pray that Atem will keep being the wonderful man, husband, and father I've seen everyday. I pray that the kingdom of Greater Egypt keeps prospering each day. By the time I'm done, I've prayed for everything and everyone I know, and it's way past bedtime. After all that prayer, I need some serious sleep. I yawn as I exit the temple. I walk, faster than my normal speedy pace, to the royal quarters, and on my way, I come across Sethos, the chief Priest to Ra. He is the leader of all religion in Egypt, a highly important man to be sure. I smile and speak to him. "Good evening, Sethos. What keeps you up tonight? Surely, as the Sun sets, so do you?"

He bows slightly and replies, "Hello, your Majesty. You're right, but I needed to speak to you about something."

The worry becomes evident in my face and voice. "Oh, goodness. I hope it's nothing too serious. Is everything all right?"

A strange, puzzling look becomes his face. "Um, actually, no. Here, let's go somewhere else to talk. I don't want everyone to hear," he says as he reaches to grab my wrist. I turn before he gets the chance to touch me. I head into a dark room and hear him follow me inside.

I take a deep breath and turn to face him. I can only see his shadow. "What is it, Sethos? What's wrong?"

"You are becoming a nuisance to Egypt. You've been going way out of line and stepping outside your limits."

I squint as I try to make sense of what I've just been told. "What? WHAT are you talking about?"

His voice seems to grow deeper and more sinister. "A woman is meant to obey her husband. She is meant to fulfill her demands, not make her own. It's time someone teaches you a lesson, and Ra has called upon ME," he says before slapping me.

I touch my face. "Who are you to make such accusations?! You know NOTHING of my marriage!"

"I have to teach you a lesson. Clearly, Atem isn't living up to his duties, and I have to put you in your place," he says before pushing me to the ground. I use my hands and feet to back away from him, but he catches me anyway. He gets down on the ground and pins my legs with his.

He uses one had to keep me down and the other to rip off my clothing. "No, please, don't do this…" I beg, but he doesn't listen, Tears start to well in my eyes, and I begin to scream. He is through undressing me. He grabs my face and forces me to kiss him. I recoil my tongue as his slides in and out of my mouth. I am instantly sickened. He moves his hand to my neck and squeezes. My screaming stops so I can try to breathe. My breaths are shallow and uneven. I try to squirm out from underneath him, but he won't budge. He is so big and has so many muscles, I'm trapped beneath him.

An intense sensation of pain shoots through my body. I release a scream, and more tears flow down my face. I realize what has happened. He has entered my body, desecrated me. I can't believe this. I trusted him, welcomed him, embraced him, and this is the thanks I get? I close my eyes to him as he continues this torture. He just won't relent. He soon takes to touching me everywhere. I beg him to stop, but he won't. In my mind, I ask myself why this is happening, what I had done to anger the Gods so. I can't think of an answer for the life of me.

After what seems like an eternity, he finally lets up. I open my eyes to see him standing over me. "Don't EVER tell anyone about this," he says coldly, "or I'll make sure the Princess NEVER sees the light of day again."

I gasp; it still hasn't registered. I have just been raped, in my own home… the place I'm supposed to feel safest. I curl up like a baby in its mother's stomach. I vaguely hear Sethos tell me, "Get up and go to bed," before leaving. I stay like this for a while. I swallow and finally decide to go to my room.

I try and sit myself up against a horrible throbbing pain between my legs. I put my fingers there to find a pool of blood forming. I should have expected this. I know what being raped is like. How soon it is that I forget I've been here before.

I get up and leave. I can barely walk. The pain overtakes me. I know I must get through it, just long enough to make it to bed, I slowly ease my way to our room. I am disgusted with myself and feel unworthy of my own bed. I take a quick bath to rid myself of the dirt and blood. That doesn't help; I'm still revolted with myself. I go to bed and slip in quietly. Atem is sound asleep. I sigh and cover myself up to my neck. I flinch and cringe has Atem moves his arms around my waist. I start to cry and move his hands away. He stirs behind me. "Nefertiri, is everything all right?"

I choke on my tears and shake my head. I just want to let it all out and tell Atem how sorry I am, but I remember Sethos' words and head them closely. Besides. I don't want Atem to get hurt. Ra only knows what he would do if he found out. I take a deep breath and mutter, "I'm fine, Atem. Fine." I know he doesn't believe me. I don't even believe myself. I feel him get up and lean on his elbows.

"Are you sure? You sound like you've been crying."

I clinch my teeth. That was the one response I dread above all others. I put my hand to my mouth to stifle my cries. "I'm sure, just a stomachache is all. I'll be fine," I tell him. I just hope and pray that he doesn't check me. I have already started to bruise, and I am still bleeding from between my legs.

"Do you need anything, love?" For some reason, it pains me to hear that. Yes, I need something. I need to tell him what's wrong, that I have been raped and touched all over by another man, that I feel like a whore and hope never to have to go through that again.

"No, I'll be all right. You just go back to bed," I tell him. I sigh and blink a few times. I feel him lie back down and wrap his arms around me; this time, I do not object and place my hands on his. I look out to the Mother Nile and cry for hours on end. I finally cry out all the tears in my body and just stare out at the river.

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I am actually awake to see Atem rise. Apparently, as usual, he wakes up, stretches, kisses me, and tells me to rest peacefully before getting out of bed. I close my eyes to all this and listen as he gets dressed. I swallow before he tells me he loves me and leaves.

I blink a few times and try to get up. I push the covers back over me and get up. I put my hands to my forehead and look down. I can't even look at myself. I have to look away. I put my fingers underneath my eyes and feel the bags forming. I'm going to have a tough time explaining that way. I'll think of something. I go to get dressed.

I figure another bath is in order and ready the water. The water is steaming hot, just like I like it. I slowly get in and begin to wash. I'm not surprised when I start to bleed again. The red soon mixes with the water and disappears. I begin to look back at what has happened. I never would have dreamt I would be raped again. I shake my head and tell myself it was in the past and I need to move on. I drift off to sleep without realizing it. I wake up to Atem hovering over me and shaking me violently. He has tears in his eyes and looks very upset. I blink a few times to register what's going on. I take a deep breath. "Atem, what's wrong?"

" 'What's wrong?' You almost drowned, that's what! I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose you," he says, pulling me up into his arms. He wraps a think cloth around me and hugs me, holding me close. He looks down and is shocked to see my feel covered with blood. I swallow and close my eyes. He puts his hand between my legs and feels inside me. I grimace and cringe a little. He stops and looks at the blood on his hand. Luckily for me, he doesn't notice the bruising. He knows something is wrong, "Nefertiri, you've already had your cleansing. (1) What's going on here?"

I take a deep breath to prepare my lie. "I don't know. I think I might be spotting. I do that sometimes." I hear Sethos' words ringing in my ears.

"All right, if you say so. I hope you feel okay soon," he says as he pulls me close to him. We embrace for a long while. We let go, and I get dressed. I decide to spend the rest of the day in my room alone with my thoughts,

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1-Cleansing: Ancient Egyptians viewed a woman's menstrual cycle as the cleansing of demons and evil spirits from her body and soul.

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Look for the next installment to be up soon. Please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning


	9. Violation, II

Thanks for the lovely reviews! I decided to post this one a little early. Hope y'all like it!

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Chapter 8:

Violation, II

Tonight, I go back to the palace temple, except it is way earlier than last night. I definitely don't want a repeat of last night. I finish my prayer and head back to bed. I take the long way around and am shocked to find Sethos blocking my way. I back up and turn to make my escape. He grabs my wrist and turns me back around. "Ah, Nefertiri, have we learned our lesson?"

My breaths grow short. "Sethos, I—"

He smirks and pulls me into him. I try to push him away, but he won't relent. He then kisses me, and I pull my tongue back. He pulls my hair and forces me to look into his icy, cobalt eyes. "Kiss me back," he demands. He tries again to no avail. He then drags me, screaming, into another room.

He forces me against the wall with a hard shove, and I feel his body pressed against mine. I try to squirm away from him with no success. He takes away my clothing and touches me again. Anywhere he didn't go last night, he goes tonight. He then begins to kiss my all over. I cringe underneath him. His mouth feels like a leech on my skin, sucking the life out of me each time he makes contact. His face meets mine, and he forces me to kiss him also. I try to pull away from him, but he won't let me.

He finally exerts all his pleasure from this and forces his way inside me. I arch my back to try to ease away, but he goes deeper and won't stop. I beg and beg, but he won't, I eventually stop and block him out of my mind. I grind my teeth; he brings his mouth to my ear and says, "Now, see, this is how a man is supposed to treat his woman; he is the dominator, she the dominated," through clinched teeth.

"I am… NOT… your woman," I manage, my voice shaky and uneven. He slaps me. Hard.

At last, he lets go and releases me. I fall to the floor in a heap and sob over my scratches and bruises. He tells me to get up and go to bed before leaving. I swallow and slowly rise. It's actually easier this time. I guess it's true what they say: you adjust to things as they happen. I slowly make my way back to my room and further to our bed. I get in and once again push Atem away from me. We go through the same ritual of him inquiring, me telling him I'm fine, and us lying back down. I look out the window and on to the river. I close my eyes and let sleep overtake me.

* * *

I have a horrible dream about what Sethos does to me, except this time, Atem finds out. Needless to say his rage boils over, which ultimately leads to his death. I wake up with my hands to my mouth to cover my screams. I find myself in a cold sweat. My stomach is turning in on itself, making me sick.

I turn to make sure Atem is still with me, and to my relief, he is. I bend my knees and lean on them with my crossed arms, leaning my forehead against them. I close my eyes and listen to Atem's breathing. It is soft, and his breaths are far between. I smile to myself as his sounds face away from my focus and allow the river to take over. I blush my hair back so I can better listen. I blink a few more times and remind myself I need to sleep. I get back to bed and turn to face him. I put my arms around his neck while he puts his to my waist. I close my eyes; my breathing slows, and I am soon asleep.

When I wake up, Atem has left me once again. I yawn and push the covers back. I then look at my things and notice the degree of bruising. I have deep black marks in the shape of hand prints from when Sethos used his hands to keep me still. I have marks on my breasts as well. My wrists are also black. I have no doubt that I have kissing marks (1) on my neck as well. I sigh and get up out of bed. I then go to get dressed. I cover most of my body, but I can't hide my wrists for the life of me. I finally decide to dawn the gold bracelets given to me by a subject upon Alex's birth.

I then go outside. Alex is already awake and with her father more than likely. I decide not to impose on their time together, and I know Atem would worry himself to death about me. I sigh to myself.

I start to cry as I think about my daughter and what I have done to protect her. I wouldn't have done it any other way, and I have no regrets. My cries then turn to sobs when I think about Atem and how our trust has been violated. I had to lie to him to keep everyone secure. I would never, EVER have lied to Atem before all this. This is changed my entire life, and for the worse. It has almost ruined me. I never want to go through this again.

I go to bed and sit. I put my hands on my forehead to try to stop the pain. I don't even try to stop crying. If I let it out now, I won't break down in front of Atem or Alexandria. I gasp when Atem enters. "Nefertiri, I just wanted to see you before… what's wrong?!" he says as he rushes to me. He sits down and puts me on his lap, brushes my hair back, and wipes my eyes. "What's happened, love? Talk to me."

More tears come, and I choke on the words. I figure I need to tell him now before it eats at me for the rest of my life. "Atem, I was… he… I…" He blinks and looks at me. "I… I was… I…" I swallow. "I was raped…" I break down in sobs again. "Twice… the… night before last… and last night."

I can see the rage mounting in his eyes. "WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!" he demands.

I'm terrified. I've never seen him like this before. I almost can't find the words to speak. "It was… It was…" I choke on the words. "It was Sethos. Sethos did this to me… He told me he'd kill Alex if I don't. Atem—Atem please don't—" I get out before he storms off.

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1-Kissing marks: the term hickey hadn't quite been invented yet, so I used the phrase 'kissing marks' to suffice.

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I figured I leave you guys with a good cliff hanger to pique your interest and keep you on your toes. Hope it's not too bad!

Dead Reckoning


	10. Violation, III

Here's the next installment. Enjoy.

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Chapter 9:

Violation, III

_More tears come, and I choke on the words. I figure I need to tell him now before it eats at me for the rest of my life. "Atem, I was… he… I…" He blinks and looks at me. "I… I was… I…" I swallow. "I was raped…" I break down in sobs again. "Twice… the… night before last… and last night."_

_I can see the rage mounting in his eyes. "WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!" he demands. _

_I'm terrified. I've never seen him like this before. I almost can't find the words to speak. "It was… It was…" I choke on the words. "It was Sethos. Sethos did this to me… He told me he'd kill Alex if I don't. Atem—Atem please don't—" I get out before he storms off._

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I am left alone to worry about what Atem is doing. I flinch with the horrible thoughts that run through my mind. Ra only knows what he's done by now. I can only pray that he isn't hurt. That is my worst nightmare. Just as he doesn't want to lose me, I don't want to lose him either.

I get up and begin to pace the room. This doesn't help. I keep imagining different scenarios, none of them good. I face the window again and begin to walk that way when the door bursts open. "Atem, I am SO—" I get out before turning around and realizing to my horror that it is Sethos, not Atem, glaring at me. He looks upset and ready to kill. "Sethos, you—"

"WHAT did I tell you?!" he demands through clinched teeth, the anger prevalent in his face, voice, and overall demeanor. "ANSWER me!!!"

I try to blink back my tears in vain. "I… I…" He rages toward me as I try to back away from him. He is soon in front of me and punches me in the jaw. I fall to the floor and swallow, dreading but already knowing what's going to happen.

He then gets down and on top of me. "I'm not going to such extreme measures just yet… but you will be punished," he says as he starts to beat me. I scream and cry each time he hits me. "That won't work," he tells me, "no one can hear your screams. But keep on though; I love to hear you scream for more." He is sick. I continue to cry until I take a sharp breath as he enters me once again. He won't let up, either. He keeps going, deeper and deeper, until he reaches my limits, and I have to scream at the top of my lungs, and even then he keeps going. I can only hope and pray that Atem can hear my screams and save me.

At last, he is through with this punishment. I swallow as he leaves me and rises to make his exit. He gets down and grabs my face. "I swear to Ra, if you tell ANYONE, I will KILL Alexandria right in front of you. Do you understand me?" I nod, and he lets go. He leaves me here, bare of all clothing, in my own room, just a heap of desolate bones and skin on the floor. I stay like this for hours. I do not deserve to move from here, not ever. Tears start to roll down my face and a scream leaves my mouth. Again, I pray that Atem will come to my aid.

I am surprised when the Chief Priest to Osiris, Solomon, and not Atem, knocks and enters. "Queen Nefertiri, I came to… My God, what's happened here?!" He rushes to me and wraps my cloth around me. He even holds me close. "Here, let me help you." He helps me to bed, and then tells me he'll get Atem and leaves. I just sit and cry.

Atem and Solomon return in a short while. Atem's face is a mixture of emotions: hurt, anger, rage, but the most prevalent is sadness. He comes to me and lifts my chin. I move to one side and lose his hand in the process. I continue to look at the ground. He takes my hands and pulls me up. We share a long embrace. His body is so warm. I feel safe. We slightly release each other. I look in his eyes only to see tears forming. I blink a few times and wipe them away. "Nefertiri, I'm… I'm so sorry," he says. He can barely speak.

"Sorry for what, Atem? You did nothing—"

"That's right. I did NOTHING. I stood by and let this happen to you. Again. I've failed you as a husband. I'm supposed to be able to protect you, and I've failed." He looks away and begins to cry.

I cup his face in my hands and turn him to me. "No, you haven't"

"Yes, I did. It's my duty to protect you, and I haven't. I'm…" He shakes his head and lets go, and then walks to the balcony. I tighten my cloth and follow him. He puts his hands on the railing and continues to cry. It really pains me to see him this way. Every tear he sheds is like a needle in my heart, each one piercing completely and making my heart cry blood tears of its own.

I swallow and try not to cry myself. I have to keep strong for him. He needs someone to lead on, and as his wife, that is my duty. I put my hand on his shoulder to try to turn him to me, but he moves his face. A tear rolls down my cheek and my voice cracks. "Atem, please… please just look at me," I beg. He bites his lip and does so, his cheeks stained with tears. "I'm all right, and you did nothing wrong. I swear. PLEASE don't feel this way, love." I look into his eyes and see the hurt in them. It goes so deep; it's disheartening to say the least.

He finally does face me and puts his arms around my waist. "I can't help; it, Nefertiri. You're my wife, and I love you. I can't stand to see you hurt. Not when I could have prevented it." He hugs me and holds me close. I don't want to let go. I feel his head on my shoulder and take a deep breath as he begins to cry. This is what I wanted. I wanted him to cry on MY shoulder. I want to be there for him, to be needed in my time of need.

"My Pharaoh, I should go. Clearly you two need some time alone." I have completely forgotten that Solomon was still here. I am shocked and appalled at what he's seen. It's so rude to let someone in on your personal struggles.

Atem raises his head and wipes his eyes. "No, I'll go with you. We have some things to discuss. Will you be all right in here?" He says as he looks deep into my eyes. It feels like his gaze pierces right through my soul. I have to blink a few times. I finally manage to nod to him. We kiss, and he leaves once more. I put my hands on my hips and sigh. I turn to the window and look out at the river.

A couple of sets of footsteps snap me out of my trance. I turn and look at the doorway. To my surprise, I see Shadi and Mahado standing here. "Oh, hello… Please, come in. What brings you here?"

"We were worried that something was wrong. We both had a very bad feeling." Shadi begins.

"Oh, well I thank you for your concern. Please, come in. Sit down." As they make themselves comfortable, I put my hands to my face. I know that talking about it will help. It's not healthy to keep such things bottled up, but it's just so hard to talk about. Being violated the way I was. I'm not entirely sure I can get the words out coherently. "I don't know where to begin. I mean, there's so much…"

"Wherever you're most comfortable, Your Highness. We don't want to pry," Mahado says.

I have to take a few deep breaths before I can go on. "Listen. What I am about to say cannot leave this room. Do you understand me?"

"If there is anything you need from us, we'll be happy to oblige," says Mahado.

"I just need someone to listen…"

They surround me on both sides. Each of them wraps an arm around me protectively. Before I can go on, another priest of Ra knocks on my door. "Mahado, we need you with us. It's urgent." Mahado looks at me, and I nod to him to tell him it's all right.

Shadi pulls me into him. I find myself blushing. "You said you need someone to listen. I'm here. I'll be your shoulder, your confidant."

"I was raped… three times… the night before last… last night… and just a couple of hours ago…" I finally manage. I start to cry again.

"Oh… I didn't know it was anything like that."

"I don't feel comfortable, talking to Atem about this. Because… I just don't think he'd understand what it feels like to be violated, like I have…"

"Understandable."

"It felt so horrible. It was like he was taking a piece of my soul from me. An intimate part of me that I can never get back. I feel like I'll never be whole again."

"Queen Nefertiri, I… I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could do to help."

"Trust me, you're doing enough."

"He said… he said that… I was a horrible queen. That I was ruining Egypt. That I was whore and that I could do nothing right."

"Listen to me." Shadi pulls my chin up. "You are a wonderful queen. You are doing wonders for Egypt. You are the best thing to happen to this country in a long time."

Tears brim my eyes. "You really mean that, Shadi?"

"I really do." Before either of us truly realize what happens, our lips come together in a kiss. I release a moan, and he wraps his arms around my waist. His kiss feels so good, almost the same as Atem's. Atem. Thinking about my marriage, I pull away from him.

"Shadi, I—"

"Oh, your Highness. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—I've put you in such an awkward position now."

"Shadi, it's okay. Just don't tell anyone about this. Okay?"

"Yes, your Majesty. I'll leave you to your thoughts." I nod and look out at the river. I get up and leave the palace. I go out to the other side of the imperial grounds, where the lotus blossoms grow. As I look out at the flowers, all the pain and heartache come spiraling back to me. The tears just release themselves.

I ask myself why, why this had to happen to me. I couldn't think of an answer 8 years ago, and I can't think of one now. I just can't fathom why anyone would do this, let alone a Priest. A man who is supposed to serve the Gods.

After a couple hours, I realize that I've cried all the tears out of myself, and that it has gotten dark already. I look up at the Moon. Khonsu is only a sliver of his true self. I look down at the river and His reflection on the waters.

A heavy burden comes on my heart as I come to the conclusion that I can no longer stay here. I've practically cheated on Atem, and there's no way he can still love me after this. I have to go. Atem needs to find someone better than me. Someone who'll love him whole-heartedly. Someone who doesn't have the secrets that I have.

I decide right here and now that I have to leave. I go back into the palace. Servants and guards can tell that I am upset, but no one dares to ask me what's wrong.

I make it to our room and begin to pack my things. Just then, Atem comes in.

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I changed this chapter around quite a bit, but I think it's still good, and that it goes along with the story a little better this way.

Either way, please leave a review. They are always so appreciated.

Thanks for reading

Dead Reckoning


	11. Violation, IV

Okay, I'm going to get crackin'. So let the typing/reading begin.

Chapter 10:

Violation, IV

_A _heavy_ burden comes on my heart as I come to the conclusion that I can no longer stay here. I've practically cheated on Atem, and there's no way he can still love me after this. I have to go. Atem needs to find someone better than me. Someone who'll love him whole-heartedly. Someone who doesn't have the secrets that I have._

_I decide right here and now that I have to leave. I go back to the palace. Servants and guards can tell that I'm upset, but no one dares to ask me what's wrong. _

_I make it to our room and begin to back my things. Just then, Atem comes in._

* * *

Pharaoh Atem just stares at my things, all neatly arranged and ready to go, as I stare at the floor. That's all he is to me now. Pharaoh Atem. He can never be my husband again. Not after what I've done to him. The air in my lungs lets itself out.

"WHAT are you doing? WHERE do you think you're going?" he bellows. I can tell just by his demeanor that he's hanging on by his last thread. One more hurt will kill his strong soul. I sigh and continue to count stones.

"I… I can't be here… I can't be… with you. I can't do this anymore. This marriage is a lie. I am a lying whore. I am nowhere near good enough for you and you know it. I'm leaving. Now move." I see something in him snap. He storms over to me, grabs me by my forearms in what has to be the strongest grip ever, and throws me clear across the room. I hit the wall with a very loud thud and hear some kind of crack in my back. I eyes grow wide, tears come rushing out in a deluge, and a weak scream escapes my lips. I look up at him in unmitigated fear. "… Atem… I…"

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN. I have given up too much to be with you. I have turned down kingdoms, empires, the WORLD. The most beautiful, stunning, subservient women to be with you. And why did I do that? Because I saw something in you. Something that none of them had. I saw a heart. I saw a spirit. I saw a desire for more. I knew you wanted more for yourself and everyone around you and that's the kind of queen I wanted for my country. You have the most beautiful soul…" his voice cracks, "and that's what I wanted in my wife. I wanted someone to spend every waking moment with and still feel like that wasn't enough. I wanted someone to lie awake all day and night with, someone to share my hopes, dreams, desires, everything with… and I couldn't imagine anyone better to have my child with. You, Nefertiri, have given me the best 4 years of my life, the best gifts in my life, and have made the memories that'll last me this, and every other lifetime, so much better because no matter what happens I know that at one time I had the best wife that anyone could have ever asked for. Please don't rip all that away from me. Please, let me keep my heart…"

By now I have cried a stain in my cloth. I struggle to get up against the needle-like pain in my back and legs. I weakly limp to my husband and throw my arms around his neck as we cry on one another's shoulders. He picks me up and sets me down on our bed before he starts to unpack my things. "Atem, I'm so sorry. For everything. There's so much I haven't told you. So much you need to know about me that I can't possibly get out right now and I need someone to listen I just need my husband—"

He puts his hand to his lips. "Shh… all you need to do right now is wash that horrible man off you. Come, love, I'll run you a bath."

I silently nod and praise Isis (1) as Atem scoops me up and leads me to into our washroom. Without missing a single movement, he starts the water running and the flame roaring, all while keeping me as comfortable as possible, much to my relief. I take a deep breath as all the pains come back: my jaw, my chest, my back, my insides. But with one look into those rich violet eyes that drew me in 8 years ago, every little trifle melts away. The water is ready. Hot vapor rises up from it, just the way I like. He picks me up and takes off my cloth. The shock and horror in his eyes is enough for me to know that he is taking in all of Sethos' effects on me: the bleeding, the bruising, and the breaks.

As he sets me down in the water, it immediately begins to scald my skin. I take a deep breath and adjust myself. My skin begins to burn from the inside out. Literally. I start to cry, and Atem wipes my tears. I can't begin to describe how long I've wanted him to do that. I've missed the sensation of his gentle touch on my skin, of his touch at all.

I start to bleed, and the red mixes with the water… too much red. Too much blood. Something's wrong. I say a prayer to the Mistress of Magic (2) to hide this blood, and she obliges. I take a deep breath and look up to the ceiling and the carvings in it. Another deep breath, and I'm ready to look at my husband again.

He looks back at me with those tender, loving eyes that he reserves only for Alex and me. I smile up at him weakly. He doesn't seem to notice as he gently strokes my cheek. I ignore the pain welling up inside me to keep Atem happy. It seems to work. He doesn't notice that anything is particularly wrong with me.

Atem begins to wash me. His touch is soft, soothing, healing almost. I close my eyes and let him work. I take a deep breath as he washes my most sensitive areas. His touch lightens as he reads my expression. Once he's done, he kisses me softly and lifts me out of the basin.

He wraps a nice warm cloth around me and takes me into our room. He sets me on the bed and takes the cloth from around me. "Atem, what are you doing?"

"Just let me look at what he's done to you."

"I don't think—"

"Just let me see, please, love…"

"If you say so, honey." I shiver as the cold hair hits my bare, naked skin. He rubs his hands down my arms to warm me, which works surprisingly well. He opens my legs and examines the degree of the bruising. He looks at my waist, my thighs; he cups my breasts in his hands which causes me to grimace. He lets me go and looks at my neck. He hugs me and strokes my hair.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'm all right now. Let's just go to bed. It's getting late." He obliges my lifting me up and tucking me into bed before lying down himself.

Just as I am beginning to dose off to sleep, my eyes snap open. Something is wrong with Alex; I know it. I get up steadily so as not to disturb a sleeping Atem. I walk into Alex's room and call her. She's not there. I go to her wash rooms. She's not there, either. Odd.

Panic begins to set in. I run up and down the halls, calling her frantically. Tears begin to fall from my eyes when I don't receive an answer. This isn't like Alex. She doesn't just wander the halls without me, and if she did, she would answer my calls. My heart begins to race as I realize the horrible truth that my daughter is missing.

I am halfway across the palace by now, screaming out her name. Servants, guards, and priests alike are helping me search, to no avail. I hear her say, "Mommy… in here…" just above a whisper. I go down another hallway and into a room to find Sethos holding a dagger to my daughter's neck, drawing blood.

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Well, that's that. Don't you just love a good cliff-hanger?

Thanks for reading. Please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning


	12. Retribution

Chapter 11:

Retribution

_Just as I am beginning to dose off to sleep, my eyes snap open. Something is wrong with Alex; I know it. I get up steadily so as not to disturb a sleeping Atem. I walk into Alex's room and call her. She's not there. I go to her wash rooms. She's not there, either. Odd._

_Panic begins to set in. I run up and down the halls, calling her frantically. Tears begin to fall from my eyes when I don't receive an answer. This isn't like Alex. She doesn't just wander the halls without me, and if she did, she would answer my calls. My heart begins to race as I realize the horrible truth that my daughter is missing._

_I am halfway across the palace by now, screaming out her name. Servants, guards, and priests alike are helping me search, to no avail. I hear her say, "Mommy… in here…" just above a whisper. I go down another hallway and into a room to find Sethos holding a dagger to my daughter's neck, drawing blood._

* * *

I reach out to her. "Don't come any closer. I will kill her." He presses the dagger further into her neck.

I swallow my tears. "Please, please don't. I'll do anything you want."

His mouth becomes a smirk. "I thought you'd see it my way. Now, here's what's going to happen. You are to give yourself to me willingly, and I'll let her go. Do we have a deal?"

I start to refuse, but seeing the look on my daughter's face, I can't. I have to give in to his sick wishes. If this man wants me, he'll have me. I just hope Atem will forgive me for this. I hope I can forgive myself, for that matter. Tears fall from my eyes. "… I'll do it. Please just let her go."

"I'm glad we have an accord." He releases Alex and she runs to me. I pick her up and hold her close. I kiss her cheek and whisper to her to find her father. "Come."

I go to him, and he begins to undress me. He kisses my neck and I can barely hide my revulsion. I manage and arch my back into him, to make him think he's winning. He drags me down to the floor and starts to kiss me all over. I cringe underneath him as forces his way inside me.

I struggle to hold back my tears as he rips me apart from the inside out. I have to look away from him. I can't bear to see the hungry look in his eyes. That look that says I'm his and there is nothing I can do about it.

I begin to fake the pleasure that he expects from me so as not to incur his wrath and get this over with as quickly as possible.

My back begins to ache, as he drives deeper and deeper. I close my eyes to this and try to think of something, anything else. The intense pain prevents anything else from entering my mind. Eventually I manage to faze him out as my back begins to numb. Normally it would worry me, but now, under the circumstances, it is sheer relief.

He reaches his climax and releases his demon seed inside me. It feels like the most caustic of potions, eating me alive from the inside out. I pray to my Divine Mother for an end to this.

She answers quickly as I hear footsteps rush into the room. "Get away from my wife!!!" I hear Atem roar.

I am so relieved. I look up over Sethos' back to see his face bright red with rage. His eyes have turned from deep violet to rich crimson. I've never seen him like this before. I'm absolutely terrified.

Sethos takes his sweet time in getting up. Some guards enter and look away as I wrap my cloth around me. They lift me up and carry me to my room. I look down the hall to see two guards standing outside Alex's door.

They enter my room and place me on my bed. They bring me a sheet and wrap it around me. I dismiss them and am left alone with my thoughts. I can't believe Atem had to see me like that. Being touched and violated by another man, his own cousin at that.

Thinking about what he's done makes me sick to my stomach all over again. I go to the washrooms to relieve myself. I come back out to find Atem sitting on the bed, covered in blood. My heart drops to my stomach. "Atem?! What happened?! Are you all right?!"

He lifts his head out from his hands. "Yes, yes, love, I'm fine. The blood isn't from me."

"Oh my goodness. Let's get you cleaned up. Come," I take his hand and lead him back into the washroom. I run him a bath and turn to him. I put my hand to his face. "Atem, I…" I choke on my tears. I swallow them back. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You did what you had to do. Alex told me." He takes me in his arms. "Please, just stop crying." He rests my head on his shoulder.

"What… what did you do to him?"

He takes a deep breath as he tests the water. He lifts me up and into the tub before climbing in himself. "I ripped him to shreds and burned what was left. His ashes are with the waste."

I'm taken aback. I knew Atem had a cruel streak, but I never would have expected his from him. I look up and into his eyes. I smile slightly and begin to wash him. I feel him relax under my touch as I massage his tender flesh.

He pulls me close to him and kisses me softly. I feel as if I'm finally able to return his affection. I kiss him passionately, but I have to stop myself lest we go any further. I'm still not ready to be intimate with him yet.

He lies back as I finish washing him. We climb out and share a drying cloth. We wrap each other up and lie down together.

Atem holds me close, but I can't sleep. Every thought takes me back to my son and how I've abandoned him. I wait until Atem is fast asleep before easing my way out of his arms.

I walk clear across the palace to the quarters of the priests. I find his room, next to Mahado's. I sneak in and walk quietly over to his bedside. I look down at him, sleeping peacefully, and the tears release themselves.

I put my hand on his forehead and lead down to kiss his cheek. He stirs slightly and opens his eyes a little. I wipe my tears and smile down at him. He looks so peaceful. "Mother?"

I can't help but nod to him. I know he probably thinks it's all a dream, but it still does my heart a world of good.

I hear footsteps in the hall and hide in the shadows. Once I'm sure the coast is clear, I duck out and sneak back to my room.

Once back in bed, I find myself staring out at the river. One of the monsters who's terrorized me is gone. And while that is a relief, I know that there are still others in my own palace who would do me harm. But I also know that as long as I have my husband, no harm can ever come to me or my family, and that makes it so much easier to sleep.

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Please leave a review. Thanks for reading!


	13. His Rightful Place

I know it's been a while, and thanks for being so patient. Here we go!

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Chapter 12:

His Rightful Place

I wake up in Atem's arms and look outside to see that it is still dark. I take a deep breath and decide that this is the day I will take my son back. I rise, dress, and head for his room. I slip in quickly and quietly. He is still sleeping. I sit in a chair next to a table in the corner. It has scrolls on it. In the torch light, I can see that they are from the Book of the Dead (1). Anon was copying them before bed, a common task for apprentices.

I sigh and look to him. He looks so peaceful, as if his mother were actually there to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight. I smile at him, and instantly regret letting him go the way I did. They've probably filled his head with lies about his mother being a whore who abandoned him. I brush my hair back.

Anon shifts. I get up and go to his bedside. He flickers his eyes open to see me looking down at him with tears in my eyes. "You're the woman from the other night. Are you my—" He rises and wipes his eyes. "Oh, Queen Nefertiri, I—Please forgive my disrespect."

I can't help but smile. He speaks so well for his 6 years. "Don't worry about it. What were you going to ask me?"

"Oh, I thought you were my mother, but you're obviously not." He looks away.

"Come here." He comes closer, and I sit him on my lap. "I have a secret to tell you. No one else knows this."

His face brightens as he realizes the level of trust I have in him. "Yes, Your Highness?"

I whisper to him, "I AM your mother. You're my son."

His eyes grow wide. "You can't be. You're the Queen, which would make me—"

"My little prince. What reason would I have to lie to you?"

"But I'm just—"

I sigh heavily. "That's because my husband is not your father. I had you before I married him… One of the priests who teaches you… is your father."

"Is it Mahado?"

I smile down at him. I only wish. Apparently, Mahado has been the parent I never could be. "No, baby. It was… it is Ahmenhotep."

He nods at me. "Um, so… if you're my mother, home come—"

"I was never there? The priests took you away from me, when you were just two weeks old… They didn't want you to be born."

"Why?"

"Because to them your birth was a disgrace. It meant they would have to face what they've—um, I'll explain it to you when you're older. You don't need to know it now."

"You were raped, weren't you…? That's why they hurt me when I asked about my—about you." He stands to show me the bruises from multiple beatings. I'm shocked. How could I have let them do this to my son?

I'm more than surprised at the fact that he knows about rape and can infer that that is how he was conceived. I sigh heavily and put him back on my lap. I hold him close to me. "Yes, that's what happened. I have a question, sweetheart."

"Yes, your—Mother?"

"How come you asked if Mahado was your father?"

"Because he takes care of me and protects me from them, when he can. He also tells me about… you…"

I'm slightly surprised. "Oh? What does he say about me?"

"Um…" He thinks to himself. "He's told me that you were very, VERY beautiful. Which you are, and that you have the prettiest eyes anyone's ever seen, and you do." I feel myself blush." He says you're… sweet, kind, and gentle, pure, trustworthy, loving, caring, honest, and faithful." I raise my eyebrows. I'm not any of those things, except loving, caring, and faithful. "He also says that… he, um…"

"He what, baby?"

"Promise not to tell anyone, PLEASE…?"

"I swear. This'll just be between us."

"He says that he loves you. Like… well, like the Pharaoh loves you."

"He what now…**"** I gasp and cover my mouth. I can't believe this. I never knew he felt that way. I guess I should have known as much. I mean, Mahado never raped me and always protected me. I can be so naïve at times.

"That's why I thought he was my father. He talks about you as though you were together. I guess he just wanted you to be with him… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Now there will be tension between you two—"

"No, baby, don't worry. It'll be fine, as long as he doesn't know I know, okay?"

He smiles and hugs me. "Okay, Mommy."

I smile and kiss his forehead. "You don't know how long I've waited for you to call me Mommy."

Someone knocks and enters—Mahado. I gasp, look up. I blush upon seeing him. "Oh, hello, Mahado."

He turns bright red. I can't help but smile. He bows to me. "Your Highness. I thought I heard your voice. Pardon my intrusion, bur what brings you to Anon?"

"Oh, um… I was just telling him… the truth. And he was telling me about how you've been there when I couldn't. Thank you."

He looks to Anon. "Did you tell her?"

Anon shakes his head. "No, sir."

I decide to test Mahado's resolve to keep this from me. "Tell me what, Mahado?"

He blushes heavily. "It's nothing, Queen Nefertiri."

I raise my eyebrows. "All right then. I respect your privacy."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

"Please, call me Nefertiri. You took care of my son. Surely, you are above the rest. Besides, I'm still the same person I was back then."

"Back when?" Anon interjects.

"I used to serve the Priestesses of Isis, before I got married. You were born then." He rests his head on my chest, and I begin to rock him as I stroke his face.

"Your—Nefertiri, did you tell him?"

"About the rape? Yes… well, not really. He sort of figured it out for himself."

"I see. Well, he is a smart one. Um… why—"

"Did I finally reach out after all this time?" I sigh. "What Sethos did to me brought me back and made me think about the past and the mistakes I've made. The biggest mistake I've ever made was letting them take my son. I can never fully make up for what I've done, but I can at least let my baby know his mother. He deserves as much."

"It's okay, Mommy, I understand—"

"No, it's not honey. They took you away from me, and I stood by and let them. What kind of mother would do that? I've failed you, and I'm so sorry for that, Anon. Please forgive me. I never—" Tears fall from my eyes.

"Please, Mommy. It's okay. I'm fine, really. I promise, I'm fine."

I wipe my eyes and hold him close. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I should have protected you, but I didn't. How can you ever—"

"Shh…" He puts a finger to my lips. I can't help but smile slightly.

I take him in my arms and stand up. "Come, my son." He wraps his arms around my neck. "You, too, Mahado." I exit the room and hear Mahado's footsteps behind me.

"Where are we going, Your—Nefertiri?" he asks when he finally catches up to me.

"To my rooms. I want to play with my son." I feel Anon smile against my shoulder. "You're welcome to join us."

"I would love to, but I have to go. I have things to attend to."

"Oh, of course." I make my way to my rooms and step inside. I set him down and watch him walk right toward the balcony.

He looks out at the river. "This is so beautiful. I wish I had a view like this, Mother."

I put my hand to my chest and shake my head. He speaks so well… So. Well. "Then you shall have one."

"Really?"

I smile to him. "Really." I hear footsteps coming behind me. I turn, expecting to see Alex, but am instead greeted by my husband. "Atem, I… Hi."

"Hello, lover." He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into a kiss, which I happily return. "Who do we have here?" He goes to Anon and puts a hand on his head. "Is he your new guard?" He says with a chuckle. "He looks strong." He smiles down at Anon as he puffs out his little chest.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "You remember, when I told you that there were things about me, that you didn't know…"

"Yes, love, I remember that," he says as he picks Anon up and sits down in a chair on the balcony.

I come to the balcony and lean against the railing. "This… is Anon." I lick my lips and tuck my hair back behind my ear. "He's my son…" I bite my lip, nervous and apprehensive as to what he might say or do next. I decide to go on. "The priests… They would—"

He shushes me. "Easy now. He's your son. That's all that matters." He rises and hugs me. I can't believe it. The man is just too good to be true. He looks at Anon, who has since climbed into my arms. "How old are you, son?"

He smiles a little. "I'm 6. How old are you?"

Atem smiles at him. "I'm 24." He takes Anon back in his arms. "Why don't we see what we can get ourselves into, huh?"

"Okay!" And with a kiss from both my boys, they're off. I can only imagine, with a smile, what kind of trouble they'll get themselves into.

I turn and look out at the river. Just like that, my family is complete. I put my hands to the railing. I can't believe this. It's like a dream come true, only… real. I have only one to thank for this.

I leave my rooms and head toward my temple. The Queen's Temple. It is a sacred place. Where only I may worship. I see the statue of my mother. My true mother. I kneel on the floor to her. "Isis… Queen Isis…" I say a few prayers, quite a few prayers, in thanks.

Then I am shown a vision. A horrible vision. Isis decides to take this time to show me something that I cannot get past. She shows me that I am pregnant. No, I'm not just pregnant. I'm pregnant with Sethos' child. This monster has put a child inside me, too. I look up at the ceiling and the carvings. I can't believe this. Sure, I made it through. Once. I had my rapist's child. Once. I don't know that I can do this again. The tears flow freely. I sit here, crying to myself.

I lean against a wall. How could the Gods do this to me, again? I barely made it through with Anon. I can't stay here any longer.

I get up and wipe my eyes. I exit and bump into Mahado. "Oh, Mahado. H-hello."

"Nefertiri… It's good to see you again…" His face becomes a look of concern. "Are you all right? You don't look well." He puts a hand on my upper arm.

I smile a little, just to throw him off. "I'm fine, Mahado. Really." I look around to see the lanterns aflame. I didn't know I'd been in the temple that long. "Mahado, how late is it?

"It's almost time for the evening meal, my Queen." He furrows his eyebrows. "Are you sure you're—"

"I'm fine. I have to go get ready." I turn to run back to my rooms. A few steps later, I turn back to him. "Oh, and I look forward to your presence at supper tonight, Mahado." I give him one of my brightest smiles and head off.

Just as I make it to my rooms, I wave of nausea hits me. _Just great. It's going to be one of those pregnancies. _I go into our washroom and relieve myself. I manage to get ready and head out to the Dining Hall.

I smile as I see Anon and Alex, chatting and laughing like happy children do. I go to take my seat next to Atem, and as I sit down, I am happy to see Mahado come and sit as well. I say the prayers, as I do at every meal, and we begin to eat.

As the talking and laughter fill the room, I almost forget about my pregnancy, about how I have to carry another man's child. It's so much to think about. My mind goes back there. To all those horrible nights. To the priests… To Ahmenhotep… To Sethos…

* * *

1-Book of the Dead: An ancient Egyptian spell book believed to be able to bring the dead back to life.

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Well, that's that. Hope you like it.

Dead Reckoning


	14. Heir

I've finally found that inspiration I've been missing. Yay! Here goes!

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Chapter 13:

Heir

Three months have passed since I found out I'm pregnant. I still haven't told Atem. I'm just so afraid of what he might say. I don't want to crush him, either, with news that this child isn't his. I don't know that he can bear knowing that I'm carrying another man's child. I don't know that I can bear it myself, for that matter.

I turn over and look out at the river. It is still dark, so there are lights on in the city beyond the river. It's a beautiful sight to be sure. I sigh to myself. If I have this baby, I know that one of two things will happen. If it's a girl, then she'll live a life of obscurity, being only second in line to the throne, behind Alex. She'll probably grow up to be a priest, or one of Alex's guardians.

But if it's a boy…

If it's a boy, then he'd usurp the rightful heir. My son, Sethos' son, would be first in line to rule Egypt. But I can't do that to Alex. I can't have her overthrown by a bastard son. No, if I have the baby, and it's a boy, then I will have to let everyone know the truth. I'll have to tell everyone that this is the child of my rapist, as much as it'll hurt.

I brush some hair out of my face. This is too much to think about. I would hate to have to oust my own son, but I can't let him take the throne. It's not fair to Anon; it's certainly not fair to Alex, and it's not fair to Egypt. I decide to go pray on the matter. I get up, much to Atem's chagrin, and make my way to the palace temple. Maybe someone there can pray with me. Two prayers are certainly better than one.

And as I suspected, just as I am coming toward the temple from one direction, I see Shadi approaching from the other. I smile to him, and am surprised to see a heavy blush from him. I blink to make sure of what I am seeing. "Shadi, are you all right?

He bows deeply. "Yes, my Queen. I'm quite well. How are you this evening?"

"I'm fine. I was just going to say a few prayers. Would you like to join me?"

It's his turn to look surprised. "It would be an honor, Your Majesty." He allows me to go inside first. I wait for him, and as he stands next to me, I reach out my hand for him. Prayers are often stronger if the ones making them are connected. He takes my hand gently, and I smile. His grip is soft, and I can almost sense what he's feeling, that he might never get another chance like this again.

We both kneel to the floor and begin our respective prayers. I pray about everything. From my children, to the kingdom, to Atem, and lastly this new baby. I receive good omens for my children; mixed for the kingdom, which is nothing new; good tidings for Atem, but when it comes to the baby… nothing. Absolutely nothing. The Gods refuse to answer my prayers about the baby. I don't know what to make of it.

I feel Shadi finish beside me. I finish and rise, swallowing. "Well, I don't know about you, Shadi, but I could use a bite to eat. How about it?"

He nods slightly. "Yes, my Queen." He follows me to the Dining Hall where some of the servants, my former comrades, are already eating the Morning Meal.

They rise to leave. "Oh, no, you don't have to go. Please, stay." They settle back down as I take my place at the head of the table. Other servants bring us our food, and I beckon them to sit as well. It feels good to be back with them again, laughing and talking like we used to. I say the prayer over the food, and we begin to eat. They tell me all the best gossip from around the palace. It's just like it always was, much to my relief. I'm so caught up in talking with my old friends that I am stunned when I see Atem walk through the door with the kids. I recover, though.

"Good morning, lover," he says in that morning voice that absolutely drives me wild. I don't even think he knows what it does to me. All of a sudden my mind is back to the baby. I manage to smile at him, albeit weakly. He doesn't seem to notice, or at least doesn't say anything if he does. They make their way to their places, and food is brought out to them as well. I say a prayer for them, and they begin to eat.

After they take their meal, Atem takes the kids, and I head back to my room. I have a sudden want to be alone. I make my way to our rooms, and further out onto the balcony. I sit down on a chair, put my feet up on an ottoman, and instinctively put my hands on my stomach. I'm not even showing yet. I probably won't be for a couple more weeks or so.

My mind goes back to my prayers. I can't believe I got nothing. That hasn't happened since I was a servant. I just don't know what to think about it. And I can't help thinking about it. Just when I'm about to drive myself to insanity, Shadi knocks on my door, apprehensively. "Your Highness, might I come in? I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Sure, you're always welcome." He makes his to the balcony and leans against the railing. I beckon him to sit down and he reluctantly does so. "What's on your mind?"

He looks at the ground, and then back up at me nervously. "Well, um… Your Majesty… You see…"

I look at him, the concern clear and present on my face. "What is it, Shadi? Is everything all right?"

He takes a deep breath. "I know that you're pregnant, Queen Nefertiri." I nod in my affirmation, but then he continues. "I also know that it's not the Pharaoh's child."

My breath catches in my throat. How could he possibly know that? I haven't told anyone. Not Atem. Not Mahado. No one. "I…"

"No one else knows, my lady. The Gods told me this morning, while we were praying." He takes my hand in his. "I'm so sorry."

I purse my lips. That's why I didn't get anything regarding the baby. It was given to Shadi instead, in the form of knowledge. "It's all right, Shadi. I did it once before."

"But you weren't married to the Pharaoh, then." He makes a good point. What will my people think of me, carrying a child that is not my husband's? It was so much easier when I was just a servant. I didn't have to care what people thought of me then, but now? I have to stay in my kingdom's good graces. I sit here and let that sink in. Shadi interrupts my thoughts. "I'll be here to help with whatever you need, Your Majesty."

It's all I can do to smile weakly. "Thank you, Shadi. That means a lot to me." I continue to sit here. Again, that creepy feeling comes upon me, the need to be alone. "Um, if you don't mind, Shadi, I would like—"

"Of course, my Queen. I'll leave you to your thoughts." As he leaves, I look back out to the river. I surge of emotion comes over me, and I bury my face in my hands and begin to cry. I don't know that I can do this again, but there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Nothing short of murder, which I just cannot bring myself to. In the end I suppose I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal.

Just as that revelation starts to set in, I look up to see Atem standing right in front of me. I can't believe I didn't notice before. "What's wrong, love?" He picks me up and sits me on his lap. I rest my head on his shoulder and continue to cry. "Talk to me, Nefertiri."

"Atem, I…" I sighed to myself. I figure now is as good a time as any to tell him. "Atem, I… I'm pregnant." I close my eyes. "I'm having Sethos' child."

"Oh, I see." He holds me that much closer, wipes my eyes. "I'm here for you, Nefertiri. There's nothing I won't do for you."

"Really?" I finally find the courage to look him in the eye. "You really mean that?"

He gives me a puzzled expression. "Of course, dear. Come on, let's get your mind off this," he says as he lifts me up. He takes me out of the room and further on outside the palace. We approach the river, and start to walk along its banks. It's nice to be with him like this again, spending time, just the two of us.

We reach the ends of the palace and sit on the river bank. "Atem… do you… will you still love me, once the baby is born?"

He lifts my chin so I can look up at him. "What kind of question is that? I'll always love you, Nefertiri." I smile weakly. I can't believe he would still love me, after all this.

* * *

It's been a couple weeks since I told Atem of my pregnancy. He's taken it much, much better than I had expected him to. Not that I thought he would do anything rash.

This pregnancy has really taken its toll on me. I find myself in the washroom or in bed more often than not. I can tell these next few months are going to be even more strenuous, and that's before I have the baby. I still have to make a decision as to this child's fate once it's born. I try not to think about it, but it's all that's on my mind these days.

Once again I'm in bed, when I feel like I should be doing something more. It doesn't help that I'm absolutely bored out of my mind. I decide to go check on Atem, see what he's up to. I get up, but am quickly sitting back down, thanks to a horrible pain in my stomach. I take a deep breath. That can't possibly be a good sign. I take a deep breath and press forward.

I make my way to the throne room, to find Atem sitting on the throne, looking rather bored himself. A slight smile crosses my face. "Hello, dear," I greet him.

"Good afternoon, love," he says as he reaches out a hand for me. I make my way to the platform, where he takes my hand in his and helps me sit down. "Would you like something to eat or drink? The baby—"

I quickly silence him. I don't want anyone finding out about this pregnancy until they absolutely have to. "I'd like some ginger, if you please."

He nods and summons forth a servant. I smile at my old friend, and he tells her what I want. She quickly leaves to get my ginger. She returns in no time and bows to me. "My Queen," she says as she hands it to me.

"Thank you," I quickly begin to nibble. It soothes my stomach and even provides an extra bit of energy. I release a soft sigh as I tuck my hair behind my ear. "Atem, do we have anything planned for today?"

"No, dear, but in a couple of weeks, we will be expecting the Hittite King to join us."

"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot." I'm not particularly looking forward to this visit, but I'm not necessarily dreading it either. "I think I want to take a walk," I say before I rise.

All in one motion, I stand up, put my hands to my stomach as an agonizing pain hits my stomach, and fall to my knees. I groan as my forehead touches the floor and the tears fall from my eyes. Atem looks on in horror. "Nefertiri, are you—"

"Atem, I… the baby—" I release a blood-curdling scream. Before I realize what's happened, Atem swoops me up and into his arms and is rushing me into another room. He lays me down on a bed and runs out to the hallway. I can barely make out his words, but that is far from my main concern right now.

The pain is unbearable. I've never felt anything like this before, and I never want to again. I lie on the bed, crying, for what seems to be several minutes before I hear more footsteps coming toward me. I look up to see Shadi, hands already feeling my stomach. I scream a little as he touches me. "Shadi, please—"

He shushes me. Mahado comes from out of nowhere and says a series of prayers to Isis to protect me and keep me safe. He also prays that she heal me and make me well again. Shadi puts his hand over my eyes, and I am soon asleep…

I wake up to Atem standing over me, tears in his eyes. "Are you all right? Please tell me you're all right."

I swallow as my head begins to pound. "Atem, I'm—" My throat is sore; my voice is scratchy. I swallow again and take a deep breath. "I'm fine, Atem."

"Are you sure love? You've been through a lot."

"I'm sure, Atem." My voice is stronger now. "I'm fine. Can you go check on the kids?" He nods and leaves, knowing that I want to be alone right now.

But that isn't going to be the case. Mahado appears out of nowhere again. "Nefertiri…"

I sigh to myself. I'm really not in the mood for this. Not now. I really just want to be myself. "Mahado."

"Why didn't you tell me…?"

"I only just told Atem a couple weeks ago," I respond, irritation present in my voice.

"Shadi knew before me? Shadi…?" He shakes his head. "I thought we were friends," he says before turning and leaving.

Normally I would be crushed by something like this, but right now I don't give a damn. I'm almost positive I've lost my baby. Our friendship is far from the first thing on my mind.

Even with that, I still can't be left alone. I look to the doorway as Shadi enters. "Your Majesty… I just wanted to check on you, and let you know what happened."

"I'm fine, Shadi. Really…"

"You don't have to convince me, Your Highness. I was here. I watched you stare Death in the face, and laugh at Him."

I blink. "What do you mean, Shadi?"

"You lost your baby," he says as he takes my hand in his.

"I know. I had a feeling."

"Let me finish," he commands softly. I fall silent. "You also lost a lot of blood… a LOT of blood. For a few minutes, you were dead. Mahado and I knew that, but we didn't want to tell the Pharaoh. Not when there was still hope." So that's why Mahado was so upset with me. He almost lost me. I start to feel really bad about the way I treated him. "We prayed and prayed, and the Gods were on your side. You woke up. You got better."

I smile weakly. "Thank you, Shadi. You saved my life. How can I possibly—"

He puts a finger to my lips. "You're my queen it was the least I could do." I smile to him.

I sit up and swing my feet over the bed. "With each passing day, you become less and less my doctor," I watch his face sadden a bit and continue, "And more and more my friend." His face brightens and starts to thank me, but I put my finger to his lips this time and kiss his cheek. He turns bright red and almost faints.

I know what I have to do. I need to apologize to my friend. I make my way to his quarters. "Mahado, may I talk to you for a minute?"

"Your Highness…"

I sigh to myself. This might be a little harder than I thought. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you. It was cruel. I was thinking only thinking about what I was going through, not what you were. That was wrong of me."

He smiles to me. "It's all right, Nefertiri. I understand you were in pain." And with that, our friendship was back to normal…

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Two updates in three days! I'm extra proud of myself! Please leave a review.


	15. Introducing

This has been updated thanks to a special request from dog youkai jane, who has quickly become my favorite reader!

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Chapter 14:

Introducing…

I yawn and look out the window to the river, and the city of Thebes beyond it. Lately I always seem to awaken before dawn. I don't mind, however, because the city is absolutely beautiful at night.

I look at the moon's reflection on the river. It's been a couple weeks since I lost my baby, and while I am somewhat happy—no, relieved—that I won't have to carry the child of my tormentor, I'm still quite upset. Losing a child, no matter the circumstance, is easily the hardest thing a mother will ever have to go through. It's been difficult, getting past my emotions, but Atem, Mahado, and especially Shadi, have been helping me. I almost feel like I'm myself again. I can't thank them enough for everything they've done for me.

I brush a few loose strands of hair from my face as I lean back into Atem and close my eyes. Today the Hittite king, Darrius, is coming for a stately visit. I sigh to myself. I'm really not in the mood to play the humble, charming hostess, but I'll just have to smile and go about it with dignity. It certainly isn't anything I haven't done before.

I rub my eyes and decide now is as good a time as any to make sure that all preparations are proceeding as planned. I meander my way out of my husband's arms and get out of bed. I look over my nightgown and figure it's suitable enough for this mission. And with one final kiss on Atem's cheek, I'm off.

I head for the Royal Kitchens first. King Darrius will be joining us in just a couple hours for an early breakfast before we get into the day's activities. As I enter, I am bombarded with the heavenly scents of all sorts of delicious foods. I yawn before approaching the Royal Chef. "Good morning!" I greet him.

He drops a platter of ingredients, which I quickly catch and hand him. He bows deeply and rises, shaking. "Oh Y-Y-Your Highness! I-It's an honor. Is the food to your liking? I can quickly—"

I put up my hand to stop his ranting. "I haven't even tasted anything, although it all smells delicious. What've we got today?"

He goes off on another tryst, describing every meal, each with all manner of Egyptian delicacies. This is by far the best menu I've heard in a long time. I couldn't have possibly come up with anything better myself. I smile and tell him that's enough. "And how are we looking on preparations?"

"E-Everything is going w-well, Your M-M-Majesty. The morning meal shall be ready in one hour at the most, and kept warm or cold until the Hittite arrives."

I smile and thank him before leaving. It's always been a good omen to me, when the first thing I check on is okay. I sigh to myself. Where to go next? Oh, Aesthetics, of course. I need to make sure everything looks just so. I wouldn't want the Hittites thinking we Egyptians can't put our decorations where our mouth is. First and foremost, our throne room needs to be in order.

I make my way there and am stopped by Mahado on the way. "Nefertiri! What are you doing up?"

"I'm just checking—"

"No, you're not. You're going back to bed. Now," he says before taking my hand to lead me back to my room.

"Why are you being so MEAN to me?" I whine.

He sighs, figuring it to be hormones or something. "Because."

"Because why?"

"Because. Because."

"Because because why?"

"Because. Because. Because."

"Because because because WHYYYY?"

He turns on me and brings his face so close to mine that I can feel his breath on me. "Because, Nefertiri, we need you looking fresh for the Pharaoh and the Hittite King, dear."

I blink a couple times. "Oh, okay then." I go along with him back to my rooms. "But you COULD have just said that the first time." I smile as I see a bead of sweat form on his forehead. Mission accomplished. "Good night, Mahado," I say as I go back in my bedroom. He murmurs as he stomps off.

I gingerly walk over to my balcony and sit down in a chair. I look out to the city, still brightly illuminated, although the Sun is starting to rise on the horizon. I close my eyes, and am soon fast asleep.

* * *

It seems like I have just closed my eyes when I feel Atem gently shaking me awake. "Nefertiri, Nefertiri, wake up, love," he tells me.

I grown and yawn. "I'm awake, Atem." I look outside to see that the Sun has not risen that much since I fell asleep, which in the end is good, because that means I didn't miss anything. I smile as he leans in to kiss me, and meet him halfway.

"What are you wearing today?"

"I've had something new made for today. I had an idea." I make room for Atem to come sit behind me. He kisses my neck softly, and begins to comb my hair. In the meantime, we make all kinds of small talk, but in the end we always come back to our daughter. Alex just celebrated her 3rd birthday, and she already thinks she's so grown up. It's absolutely adorable to watch her pretending to perform stately duties. It's all Atem and I can take not to burst into hysterical laughter. I smile to myself. I love my children so much.

"Let me show you my dress." I rise and go through a doorway, into my dressing room. I sift through my clothes until I find the piece I'm looking for. I slip it on and look down. It's a red dress, strapless, and what's called an empire waistline. It has gold designs above and below my chest, as well as at the bottom and along the short train. I chose red because my true mother Isis is often depicted in this color, and as the incarnation of her on Earth, I figure I should wear red, too.

Something seems a little off. I trace my waistline with my hands. My hips have filled out a little since I last remember. Then again the last time I really paid attention to my figure was before I had Alex. No matter, though, because I still look fine, I think.

I step out of my closet and look to Atem, who has already dressed. He stops in the middle of what he's doing to look at me. I look down at myself to see what's wrong. "Nefertiri, you look amazing."

My eyes meet his again. "Really? You really think so?"

"Absolutely stunning… No one has ever, or will ever, look as beautiful as you do now."

I blush heavily. "You're just saying that, because you have to."

"No, love," he says as he approaches me, "I mean it." He leans in to kiss me, and I return the gesture. After looking into one another's eyes for a few moments, we are back to our preparations. Atem puts on his tons and tons of jewelry. I put the majority of my hair up loosely, in a hodgepodge type of style, with a few locks left to dangle. "That makes you look even better still," I hear Atem compliment from behind me.

"You're too much, lover," I reply as I start to don my own jewelry. A few bracelets and my favorite arm bands complete my look. Atem takes a couple steps toward me and holds out his hand for me. I take it, and we make our way to the Throne Room. He helps me to my seat before taking his own place beside me. "When exactly is the king supposed to arrive again?"

"He should be arriving—"

The door opens, and a messenger, clearly a Hittite, enters. "Your Honorable Pharaoh, Lovely Queen, the King will be here in just a few short minutes."

I smile slightly. "Please," I motion to a set of chairs against the far wall that have been put aside for servants, "Take a seat. You must be tired."

"Thank you so much, Lady Nefertiri," he says as he takes a seat. I look around the room one last time. It seems to look just right, much to my relief.

Just then, both the chamber doors open. This must be the king. Atem stands to greet him. As a lady, I am not required to do such things. His Royal Court precedes him. I can't help but smile as I realize the Egyptian Court has a few more members. I cross my legs as Darrius himself finally enters. He's not as stocky as I thought he would be. He's only a few inches taller than me yet still shorter than Atem. He also doesn't have the muscular definition that husband has. I smirk as I think that thought.

Darrius steps up our pedestal, and Atem takes his hand and shakes it hardily. The two exchange the usual pleasantries while I order our servants to seat the Court. Atem and Darrius are done with their greeting. Darrius takes my left hand, while I place my right on my knee. "Queen Nefertiri, it's an honor to meet such an entrancing woman as you. You've got to be without a doubt the most radiant women in the world."

I blush slightly. "You're joking."

He kisses my hand, letting his lips linger on my skin a little longer than I'd like. "I'm most serious, Lady. Everywhere I go, to the far reaches and back, all I hear about is the Heart of Egypt. Their treasured darling. Their Queen Nefertiri."

"This is too much. Please, stop."

"As you wish, my Lady… What will we start off with today?" I rise as Atem helps me up. Our fingers intertwine as we make way to leave the throne room.

We exit and leisurely make our way through the palace and to the Dining Hall. "Well, first, we're going to eat an early meal, and then we'll show you around the Palace and its grounds. I think you'll like what we have in store for you," I say as we enter the Hall…

* * *

It took me forever to complete that for some reason.

Dead Reckoning


	16. Hostile Negotiations

I'm sorry about the long hiatus, but I've had the worst writer's block ever.

* * *

Chapter 15:

Hostile Negotiations

Atem, Darrius, and I are walking off our breakfast. We're starting with a tour of the palace, and then those two will engage in a friendly round of War Games. After that, Atem and I are going to demonstrate a shadow game for the Hittite. It's one of our favorite things to do together, but try as he might, Atem just keeps losing to me. I think I'll let him win today, since we are entertaining… Maybe not.

I sigh to myself. The topic of conversation is domestic affairs. Not particularly scintillating conversation, since it's Darrius' turn. But I'm quiet and feign attention, so as not to be rude. I wonder what Alex and Anon are doing. They're probably with the instructor now, but they'll be joining us for lunch, or maybe dinner. I can't wait to see my babies.

"… really that good, Queen Nefertiri?" I feel Darrius' hand on the small of my back, slowly easing lower.

"… Say again…?" I start try to step away, to no avail.

"I was asking Atem where his other wives were… if you're really that good to him…" He starts to pull me closer to him on the sly.

I raise an eyebrow. "Of course I am. I give my husband anything and everything he'd possibly want," taking his hand off me and stepping into Atem's arms. I feel Atem smile beside me.

"No wonder he has that grin on his face whenever he thinks of you," is Darrius' reply. I role my eyes and continue walking.

"Shall we commence the war games?" I ask to change the subject.

Atem seems to know what I'm getting at. "Yes, love, that's a good idea." He leads us out of the palace and into the War Games field. Immediately the stablemen set Darrius and Atem up with their weaponry. I take my seat on the far side of the field and make myself comfortable. Before I know it, the games commence.

My husband is winning by a long shot. I can't help by smile to myself. After a few more rounds of this, we decide to head inside for the midday meal.

I take great pleasure in having the chef personally showcase his culinary gifts for the Hittite King. Darrius is clearly impressed. So far this visit is going extremely well. We make small talk during the course of the meal, including everything ranging from politics to philosophy and ethics. I find the man to be so utterly backwards that it's sickening. But I do think that he has some interesting information about our neighboring empires and their plans for conquest. I usually try to stay out of these things, and with good reason. I just don't have the emotional fortitude for warfare.

The meal is done, and I decide to help clean up, partially to be helpful, but more so to escape Darrius' hungry stares. I tell Atem to go ahead and take Darrius to the throne room, and that I'll be following soon. He smiles softly before kissing me and leaving.

It doesn't take long for me to finish cleaning the Dining Hall and the kitchens. I come back out of the kitchens and into the dining room to make some last minute adjustments. I hear the huge door open, and am surprised to see Darrius enter. "Oh, Darrius, I wasn't expecting you… What brings you here?"

"The Pharaoh and I were wondering what happened to you… Atem sent me to fetch you," he says, coming uncomfortably close. I raise an eyebrow. If Atem were looking for me, he would come find me himself. Besides, he knows that I'll come back to them as soon as I'm done here. Darrius is up to something, I don't like it one bit.

Just as Darrius reaches to grab me, Atem walks in. "Darrius, there you are. I'm sorry, love, I tried to tell him that you would join us again when you're good and ready."

I smile softly. Atem always did have the best timing. "Thank you, dear." Darrius frowns and heads back to the throne room, and I make my way to Atem.

He looks me over. He has to see the worry on my face. "Nefertiri, what did he do to you?"

I shake my head. "Nothing, nothing. I'm fine, Atem. Really."

"Are you sure?"

I kiss him softly at first, but then deeper and more passionately. "I promise, love, I'm fine." We walk hand in hand back to the throne room. "Shadow games?"

Atem smiles to me. "Shadow games. And I'm going to win."

"You haven't won yet, love." We tell Darrius what's about to happen, and begin the games. Atem actually puts up a really good fight, and has me on the ropes at one point, but he is again underestimating me. I summon my signature creature, the Darkness Phoenix, and it's over. Luckily for me, my husband isn't a sore loser.

"Nefertiri, do you mind if I give it a try?" I hear Darrius ask. I'm surprised, to say the least, but I wouldn't mind showing him a thing or two. I nod to him, and he comes down into the arena. Atem teaches him the rules, and we begin. Just as soon as it ends, it's over. "She's even better than you said, Atem."

"I tried to tell you, Darrius, but you wouldn't listen." Atem smiles. "Come, Darrius, we'll start the talks now." Atem and I share a kiss, before he and Darrius leave to the Council Hall. They're ironing out the details of a new treaty between Egypt and the Hittite empire. Hopefully this will provide a measure of peace for us.

I decide to spend some time with my children. I gather them up, and bring them to the gardens with me. We take a lovely stroll, and Anon and Alex quickly start to play. I soon find myself staring off into space.

A servant soon snaps me out of my trance. "My Queen, please forgive me for disturbing you, but the meeting is done, and the Hittite King requests your presence in his chambers."

I raise an eyebrow, but I don't want to risk the treaty. Doing so could start a war, so I guess I'll just grin and bear it. I make my way to the guest chambers and knock on the door. Darrius opens it, and I enter. "Ah, Queen Nefertiri, I'm glad you could join me. Please, take a seat."

"No, thank you, I don't plan on staying long. What do you want."

"Always the spitfire. I'll get right to it. I want you."

"Excuse me?"

"I said I want you, Nefertiri," he says before grabbing me roughly. "I'm in love with you, and you're going to be mine." I try to push him away, to no avail. "Now, you have two choices. You can either come back to Hattusa with me, or I can declare war on Egypt and I can take you back by force," he says as he slams me into a wall.

I spit in his face. "I'll never go with you. And if you declare war on Egypt, you Hittites will lose, and I'll have you executed… IF Atem doesn't get his hands on you first."

The next thing I see is a flash of red in my right eye as his fist makes contact with my face. My eye starts to bleed, and it looks as if I'm crying blood tears. "Rest assured, WHEN I go to war with Egypt, I will win, Egypt will be my personal backyard, and you will be my wife." He grabs my thigh, and his hands begin to move all over my body.

I try to get him off me. "Get OFF me!" I yell. This fighting continues, but Darrius is getting the best of me.

Just as he begins to slide my dress up my thighs, Atem just happens to walk in. "Darrius I just wanted to invite you to—GET AWAY FROM MY WIFE!" he roars.

Darrius lets me go. "If you say so, Pharaoh, but know this, I will be declaring war on Egypt, you will lose, and I will be taking your wife." He storms out. Atem runs over to me and picks me up. "Nefertiri, are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

Atem brushes my hair from my face and gasps when he sees my eye. "He hit you?"

"Yes, but—"

"But nothing! I should have him—"

"Atem, please…" I pull him back to me. "I need you now." I start to cry.

He hugs me and holds me close. "I'm sorry, baby."

"What are you going to do about Darrius? He says he's going to start a war. We can't afford to—"

"Don't worry about it. Leave him to me."

* * *

Several weeks have passed since Darrius' visit. Egypt and the Hittite Empire have both declared war. Every day I feel guiltier about all this. If I had just said yes, if I had just gone with Darrius, none of this would have happened. We would have signed a treaty with the Hittites. There would be peace. And now, because of me, there is going to be war. Because of me, hundreds if not thousands if men will lose their lives.

* * *

I personally don't think this is one of my better chapters, but it's a start, I guess.

Please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning


	17. Departure

After another lengthy wait, here's the next chapter. I should be able to crank out updates more rapidly now that this one's out of the way.

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Chapter 16:

Departure

_I run as fast as I can through the desert and on to the camp ground. My feet are killing me; my muscles ache; and my lungs could give out at any second, but I don't care. I just keep pushing forward, ever mindful of my goal. I rush past hundreds of wary soldiers. None of them dare stop me to ask how I'm doing. Their eyes drift from me to the tent at the center of the grounds. _

_I finally stop as I reach the front of the tent I've been searching for. Tears flood my eyes as I search for the strength to enter. I close my eyes and push back the tarp before taking the steps I so dread. I try to numb myself in preparation for what I'm about to see, but my fears and emotions push through stronger than ever. I burst into tears as my feet guide me to the pallet in far corner of the tent. _

_One of several doctors looks around just in time to see me approaching. He alerts his colleagues, and they scatter about the tent, making up random duties to attend to. I my feet become heavier and heavier as I approach my husband lying on the pallet. My legs finally give out as I reach his bedside. "Atem, Atem, I'm here, love…" I take his hand in mine, and rest my forehead against his soft bedding._

_As I let the tears flow, I feel Atem's grip tightening and a warmth returning to him. I look up just to see him grimace before opening his eyes. "Nefertiri…" He coughs up blood before he can continue. A doctor hands me a cold cloth, as if he were waiting for this to happen. I purse my lips as I wipe the blood from his mouth and chin. "Nefertiri… I knew you would be here…"_

"_Of course, love. Nothing could keep me from you." I reach for another cold cloth and wipe the sweat from his forehead before kissing him gently. _

"_Nefertiri, I need to tell you—"_

"_Shh, love. Just rest, please…" I put my hand to his face and plead to him with my eyes. _

"_I can't… I feel myself slipping. I held off as long as I could, until you got here." Tears flood my eyes as I choke back my sobs. "Nefertiri, I just wanted to tell you—" He coughs up more blood. I wipe the blood with the cloth before wiping my eyes with my free hand. "Nefertiri, I wanted my last words to be—"_

"_Atem, DON'T. Don't say that. These aren't your last words. You've got a lot of life left in you. Please, Atem. Please, believe me."_

"_As much as I want to, we both know the time has come." His voice has gotten raspy and hoarse. He clears his throat and swallows. "I wanted my last words to be that I love you, Nefertiri. I love you more than I ever thought possible. I just wanted you to know." He beckons me forward to kiss him, and I gladly oblige. "Tell Alex and Anon that I love them." I wipe the tears in his eyes before letting my own fall. "Nefertiri, I love you." He closes his eyes, and just like that, he's gone. His grip loosens, and his face becomes pale. _

"_Atem…" I shake him gently. No response. "Atem, ATEM!" I scream a blood-curdling scream. _

_The doctors all rush to his bedside. They check his pulse and other vital signs. "He's gone, my Lady."_

I awaken with a start. I put my hand to my forehead to wipe the cold sweat away. I rest my head in my hands as I take a few deep breaths in what becomes a futile effort to calm my racing heart. I lie back down and look at the carvings of the Gods on the ceiling, and silently pray they keep my husband safe as he departs for war tomorrow. I turn over and look out the window at the river. I can tell from the position of the Moon's reflection that it's relatively early. I have a few more hours to try and sleep before sunrise. I close my eyes, and am soon asleep again.

_I leap from the throne and to my husband's side as I see Darrius enter. His face is one of a monster, angrily contorted and glaring straightaway at Atem. He storms toward us in a fit of rage. _

"_Darrius!" Atem roars. "Leave, NOW! She's made her choice, and she's staying with me!" He pushes me behind him and back a few steps. _

_The air catches in my lungs as I await Darrius' response. He steps closer and closer to Atem, until they can feel one another's breath. "Who says it was her choice…" It seems like the next few seconds last hours, as I watch Darrius pull his sword from its sheath. _

_Before I can even form the words to stop him, I look on in horror as he impales my husband. His blood splatters all over me, and his body falls back against me. Still in shock, and overcome by his weight, I fall to the floor holding my husband's dying body. "_**NO!**_" I scream at the top of my lungs. My shaking hand finds its way to his paling face. "Atem, please, stay with me. Stay strong, please…" Tears flood our eyes as he takes his last look at me. Just as his mouth starts to form what I know would've been his last 'I love you,' I can see his soul leave his body, and he's dead in my arms. _

I spring awake with the tears already flowing. I've been having these horrible dreams ever since Darrius came to visit three weeks ago. They have become more and more frequent as the time comes for Atem and the soldiers to leave. I don't know why I even bother trying to get any sleep. I don't bother wiping the tears this time because I know that more will fall in their place.

I look down at Atem sleeping beside me, and to my surprise, he's grimacing as if he's having a nightmare as well. Just before I move to wake him, he shoots up in a cold sweat. "Atem, are you all right?" He looks particularly troubled.

"I'm fine. I was just having a bad dream… Why are you up?"

"Same… Do you want to talk about it?"

He shakes his head and looks away. "No, love, I'd rather not get into it. What about you?"

I shake my head as well. "No, thank you, I'm fine." I smile weakly to show him that I'm really okay.

"Nefertiri, you don't have to save face for me. I'm your husband. You're supposed to be able to share your fears with me…" He brushes a few loose strands of hair from my face before wrapping his arms around my waist.

I relax in his arms and lean back against him. "The same goes for you, love." I sigh before I continue. "Ever since the war declaration, I've been having these dreams, nightmares, about… the war. About what happens to you." I'm surprised when I choke while relaying this to him. "It's never good, your fate."

He gently places my head on his shoulder and strokes my face comfortingly. "Rest assured, love, I will be fine. Nothing is going to happen to me."

I start to cry. "You can't promise me that, Atem. You don't know what's going to happen. Why, you could walk out that door in two days and never come back."

He holds me closer and allows his deep breaths to soothe me. "You're right. I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know that I'm not going to let Darrius or his army cause me any harm. The fact that I have you and Alex and Anon here waiting for me is going to drive me to do everything right so I can make it back to see you again. Just like I don't want to lose you to Darrius and his lust, I don't want you to lose me to this war and its violence. Please, just trust me, love. I nod silently to him. "Now, about my dream. It was awful. I dreamt that the Hittites won, and Darrius took you as the spoils. He made me watch, as he… did things to you." I feel him shake his head to try to rid his mind of the images. "But don't worry. I'm not going to let that happen to you. Not while there's breath in my body."

I smile against him, and we lie back down together. We spend the rest of the morning lying there, silently praying for each other's safety.

It's been several weeks since Egypt and the Hittite kingdom have declared war on one another. I still can't believe this. I refuse to believe that I am the cause of all this. I don't want to face the fact that I will be the reason that homes are destroyed, lives are lost, and families will be ripped apart forever.

As of late, I had been going out into the kingdom to help boost morale. It's a futile effort, though. Every able man has already joined the Egyptian army and is more than willing to go to war to defend my honor. I was more than surprised to see that the even when they found out the reasons behind all this, they still jumped at the chance to fight. Whether they truly want to keep me here, or are fighting for their own glory, we will probably never know.

The day I've been dreading has come. The soldiers are here; the supplies and horses have been readied; each man has been outfitted with his armor. This is actually happening.

I sit on our bed and stare out at the river. I haven't left the room in days. I don't eat. I barely sleep. All I can do is cry. I cry for the soldiers, for their wives, and mothers, and children. But more than anything, I cry for my husband. The thought that he might not make it back sends me into a spiraling depression. I can't stand to be so pessimistic, but at the same time, I know I need to face the facts. Every single Hittite warrior will be after him. If he dies, the war will be over, and Egypt will become Darrius' personal sandpit. My mind seldom drifts to what would become of me. Living a life without Atem will be by far worse than anything Darrius could think of doing to me. I only worry about Alex and Anon. If I know Darrius as well as I think I do, they'll end up meeting a fate much too similar to Atem's. I shake my head to try to rid my mind of these thoughts, but no matter what I do, it's always in the back of my head.

I hear footsteps softly approaching me. I don't have to turn to know it's Atem, beckoning me for today's farewell fest. His words confirm. "Nefertiri, love, it's almost time for the feast. We have to get ready." I swallow, wipe my eyes, and turn to greet him. He doesn't have to look twice to read the fear and worry written all over my face. He hugs me and holds me close for a few seconds. "It's going to be okay, love."

I've grown tired of these empty promises that do nothing to ease that foreboding since of doom lingering over my heart. I pull away from him. "We have to get ready." I smile weakly and turn to find my best cloth and jewelry. I quickly dress and help Atem with his headdress. I decide to forego make-up, so that the people can see what this war has already done to them. I want them to know that I am in pain over this as well, and that they are not suffering alone. "Are you ready?" He nods solemnly, and we leave.

Atem and I walk hand-in-hand, as slowly as humanly possible, to the Dining Hall. We've both resolved to savor each and every one of our last moments together.

The doors to the hall open, and the subjects quickly rise to acknowledge us. We walk to the head of the table, where Alex and Anon have been awaiting us. I smile softly to my babies before looking at the crowd. We nod slightly to seat them, and they do so.

Atem and I bow our heads before I say a prayer to Montu (1) and Neith (2) to keep my husband and our soldiers safe. I also silently beg Meretseger (3) not to take my husband just yet, while calling upon his true father (4) to guide and protect him. I finish and take my seat as everyone begins eating. I don't have much of an appetite, however.

About halfway through the meal, between the third and fourth courses, I swallow and rise, which solicits everyone's attention. I take a deep breath before I begin. "I just like to speak with all the women here for a moment." I swallow. "I just want you to know that I begged and pleaded with Atem not to go to war, but he would hear none of it. I'm just one person. I'm not worth all this… I also want you to know that I know what you'll be going through." Tears brim my eyes." My husband is going to fight in this war, and it scares the Gods out of me to know that I might never see him again." I start to cry. "I know it's going to be hard, too much to bear at times, but I want all of you to know that if you ever, EVER need anything at all, please do not hesitate to ask. Whether it be food, or money, or even just a shoulder to cry on, you must know that you can always come to me. I will be here for each and every one of you until the very end: until our husbands and sons come home, and forever after their return."

I swallow and open my eyes to find everyone applauding rather loudly, and all the women with tears in their eyes. Each of them mouths a silent 'thank you' to me. I nod to them through my tears as Atem rises and holds me close. I let go and cry on his shoulder. He shushes me and tells me that everything will be all right. I don't believe him, but I appreciate his efforts. We sit back down, and everyone finishes eating.

We lead the kingdom to the Royal Gardens, where we spend the last few hours together. Alex and Atem go off to who knows where, while Anon and I spend this last little bit of time together. We talk about everything, from the war to the priesthood and back again. I really enjoy the open honesty we have with each other. We trust each other completely.

Atem and Alex soon rejoin us. Alex and Anon start to play, and Atem and I go to talking. We mainly talk about how much we'll miss each other. We tell each other they'll be in our thoughts and prayers every day.

It's come time to depart. We all head to the gates of the palace. The goodbyes are long and tearful. After addressing the soldiers, I look turn and to Atem. I look in his eyes, tears flooding his and mine. We hold each other close. I pull away as he dips and kisses me. The kiss lasts forever and is still too short. I hug him one last time before he hast to go. We tell each other we love them, and before I know it, they're gone. I shed a few tears and wipe my eyes.

I go to see the women off. I tell them goodbye one by one. We cry on each other's shoulders, and I remind them that I am here for whatever they need. When they are gone, I give Alex and Anon their baths, take mine, and we head to bed.

I tuck them in on my side and look to the table on Atem's side to see a scroll there. I pick it up, and tears flood my eyes as I read it:

_My Dearest Nefertiri,_

_If you are reading this, I'm probably already gone, and you will have just tucked Anon and Alex in beside you. Kiss them and tell them their Daddy loves them._

_Anyway, I'm writing this to stay your worries. The soldiers and I will be fine. We'll protect each other, and we'll come home as soon as we can, safe and sound._

_As I write this, I think back on our wonderful marriage and the four amazing years we've shared together. Those were the best times of my life, and I look forward to the many more years we'll be together. _

_Please don't feel guilty about this war. It is NOT your fault. Tensions between Darrius and I have been on edge for Ra only knows how long. This was just the final straw. I refuse to let anything or anyone tear us apart._

_I want you to stay strong, love, for Anon, for Alex, and the whole of Egypt. They all need you right now. You are my second-in-command while I'm gone, and I know you'll make me proud. You are a good, strong, wise leader, and I'm counting on you to stay that way. I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on you, but I have the utmost faith in you. I know you can do it._

_Nefertiri, most of all, I just want you to know that I love you more than anything on this earth. You brought me the happiness my life was missing. You know, the hardest part of all this is going to be having to wake up without you in my arms, and not being able to kiss you and hold you close and tell you how much I love you. But I know you'll get through it, and if you can, so can I._

_I want you to know that I love you with everything I have and will give anything to see you happy. That is why I'm going to war. Not for my pride, not my dignity, nor my jealously. I'm going to war to keep you here with me. My life would be nothing without you. Am I being selfish? Yes, but who could possibly blame me. You're the most beautiful woman the world has ever seen, and more than that, you have a sparkling and magnetic personality that draws everyone in. _

_All-in-all, just know that I love you with all my heart and soul, and that seeing you happy means everything to me. I love you to death._

_When things get hard, when you get lonely, when you feel like you're about to give up, just keep this and all my letters close to you, and let them give you the strength to keep going. I know I will._

_Love,_

_Atem_

I fold the scroll and hold it close to me as I lie awake, crying.

* * *

1-Montu: Egyptian god of war

2-Neith: Egyptian goddess of war and weaving

3-Meretseger: Egyptian goddess and guardian of the Valley of the Kings

4-Egyptian pharaohs were said to the sons of Ra, thus giving them the Divine Right to Rule.

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Finally, that's that! Thanks for reading, and please leave a review!

Dead Reckoning


	18. War Letters

I decided to change up the original story with this chapter. Here goes!

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Chapter 17:

War Letters

Four months have passed since Atem and the men left for war. We have been keeping in close touch with one another. It all started the next day, with my reply to his first letter:

_My Beloved Atem,_

_I have received your letter and am writing my response. I want you to know that I think about you every second of every day. You are always in my thoughts and prayers._

_Look, no matter how much you tell me not to feel guilty about starting this war, it will always be my fault. I'm the reason we're apart. If it weren't for me, we would be together right now, and Egypt would be at peace. It's all my fault, and it always will be…_

_But you're right, love. I do need to stay strong. Alex needs me; Anon needs me, but most of all Egypt needs me. I need to keep a clear head so that I may lead these women in honor. I promise I'll do my best and that I won't let you down. I'm glad you have faith in me, and I put my faith in you, too._

_I know you will come back alive. Amun-Ra will keep you safe, but I'm still terrified. Just the thought of losing you sends me over the edge. I need you, Atem. You're my life, my everything. You gave me my life back. _

_I have also been thinking about our marriage, love. These were the best four years of my life. I've never been happier than I am when I'm with you… I felt so empty this morning, waking up without your arms around me. I, too, think that'll be the hardest part. Not having your arms around me, not being able to hear your melodically sexy voice._

_I guess I'm just trying to say that I love you more than anything. You're my reason for living, and my life is nothing without you. So please stay safe, love._

_Your loving wife,_

_Nefertiri_

A couple days after I sent that letter off, another scroll arrives or me:

_Nefertiri,_

_I can't tell you how happy I was to have received your letter. It's so good to hear from you. Everyone is doing fine. The morale is really high here. The men really believe in what they're fighting for. They believe in you, love._

_Every day, I pray that you, Anon, Alex, and all our troops stay safe. I pray that you will stay strong and continue lead our empire as well as you have been. _

_I would be lying to you if I didn't tell you that the Hittite army is as large and fierce as our own. Darrius wants you just as badly as I do, love, and is willing to do anything to take you away from me. I won't let him, though. I love you more than anything in the world, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you with me. You're my everything. From the air that I breathe to the sunlight that warms me. My existence is meaningless without you, love._

_I have to go now. Remember, I love you, and I'll never stop fighting for you._

_Love always and forever,_

_Atem_

Most of our letters have taken the same tone, with his describing the state of the army, and mine detailing matters concerning the kingdom. It always lightens my heart to hear from him, because each incoming letter lets me know that he's still alive to write me another day.

But for all the joy that comes from his letters, there is still three times as much heartache. Part of it comes from knowing that these letters are, and will be, our only means of communication for Ra knows how long. I also know that no matter how many promises Atem makes me, or how careful he is, he won't be able to avoid his fate. I've seen his death entirely too many times in my nightmares to believe that he will make it out of this war unscathed.

And yet the most heart-wrenching part of it all is the secret that I've had to keep from Atem, from everyone, these past four months. Not long after Atem left, I found out that I'm pregnant. And while I'm overjoyed to give Atem another child, it comes at the cost of knowing that he might not be around to watch our baby grow up.

I try to stay positive, to comfort myself through my prayers and letters, but it does me no good. I think back on this pregnancy as I sit in the throne room. It's been turbulent and difficult, to say the least. The stresses from the war and my duties as queen have taken their toll on me.

I've been trying to rest, but Egypt requires my full attention right now. It's not as if we're in dire straits, but without Atem here, my responsibilities have all but monopolized my time. As unsettling as solitary rule can be, I have to save face for my people. They're all counting on me to remain strong in this our time of need. It's the least I can do, since I'm the cause of this unrest.

* * *

I wake up to my stomach turning in on itself. I rush to the washroom just in time to lose my dinner. I sit back on the floor while the tears flood my eyes. When I was pregnant with Alex, I had Atem to go through all this with me. With Anon, there was Mahado. But now, no one. I curl up and cry to myself for a few moments.

I get up to wash my mouth and face. I rest my hands on the wash basin and look down at my reflection. I've filled out a little, but in only my fourth month of pregnancy, this is only the beginning of the weight gain. I immediately begin thinking of ways to explain away the extra weight and conceal my growing belly. I'm already starting to show just a little, and in no time I'll be able to feel the baby and its kicks. Luckily for me, however, the more visible symptoms—the nausea and fainting—have occurred early in the morning or late at night, when no one is around to notice. I just hope they stay that way. I sigh softly before splashing water on my face. I'm getting ahead of myself. I need to stay calm, for the baby's sake.

I come out of the washroom and look down to find Alex and Anon awaiting me. "Mommy, are you all right? We heard crying," he begins.

I smile weakly and sit down on the bed. "Mommy's fine, just a little sad. I miss Atem is all." I pick Alex up as her own eyes begin to water. She rests her head on my shoulder as I rub her back softly.

"I miss him, too, but don't worry. He'll be back before we know it!" I appreciate his efforts, not for me, but for Alex.

"But when, when will Daddy be back?" Alex asks quietly.

"I… I—" I choke. I can't seem to find the words.

"He'll be really soon, Alex. I know it. Come on, let's go write him a letter." She smiles and hops down from my lap. I mouth a thank you to him as Alex follows him out of the room.

I sit here for a few more moments, praying to the Gods to keep me sane through all this, and more importantly to keep my baby safe. I would go out of my mind with grief if I had to lose another child. I get up and make my way to the throne room. I tuck some loose hair behind my ear before taking my seat.

I busy myself with thinking of names for the little one while my attendants and courtiers awaken and make their way to the throne room. I'm surprised when I see Mahado knock and enter. "Mahado, I—hi. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, Nefertiri. I just wanted to see you. It's been a while. We never have time to talk anymore." He comes closer but stops before he reaches the throne.

"Agreed. How's the priesthood treating you? You look good, if it counts for anything."

He smiles softly while trying to hide a visible blush. "I'm doing fine, my lady. What about you? You look quite stunning, if I may. You're glowing."

It's my turn to smile. "Well, thank you. I don't know how. What with Alex, and Anon, and running things here," I motion to the empty throne beside me, "it's a wonder I get any sleep at all."

"I understand. How are you holding up, without the Pharaoh. I imagine it must be painful."

"It is, but with prayer and a positive attitude, I mange." I smile weakly. "Why don't we take a walk? I could use a bit of fresh air."

"Of course. Here," he holds out his hand to help me up. I take it and rise, but become lightheaded and end up fainting. I feel Mahado catch me and hear Shadi enter before I regain full consciousness. Mahado sets me back down on the throne. "Nefertiri, what happened? You can't be exhausted; you just woke up… Are you ill?"

I shake my head before my eyes drop to my hands in my lap. I twirl my wedding rings around my finger while I debate telling them of my pregnancy. I hadn't planned on telling anyone, but if I keep fainting like this, they'll be sure to figure it out in no time. If anything, they can look after me until I have the baby. I sigh heavily before resting my head in my hands. "What I am about to tell you must stay between the three of us. Do you understand?"

They both nod. "You have my word, I won't tell anyone," Mahado says.

"I swear to Ra, my lips are sealed," Shadi agrees.

I nod slightly. "I hadn't intended on telling anyone, but it might be for the greater good that you saw what just happened." I can see the worry on their faces. "I'm pregnant, about four months along…"

They stare at me for a few seconds. "Congratulations…" Mahado finally says.

"Have you told the Pharaoh, Your Highness?" Shadi asks.

I shake my head. "I found out after he'd already left, and I won't tell him in a letter. It's too dangerous. I can't risk another letter being intercepted." I purse my lips as I tuck some hair behind my ear.

"How are you going to tell him then?" Mahado asks.

"I don't know yet. But I do know that I won't let him find out from anybody but me. It wouldn't be fair to him otherwise." They nod in their agreement. "I just… I don't know how I'm going to tell him." My eyes water, but I wipe them before the tears can fall. "I hate having to keep this from him, but I don't know what else to do."

"How are you going to handle all this without him? Surely the baby will put more pressure on you…" Shadi ventures.

"I don't want to talk about it. Please…"

They nod their acquiescence. "Come, let's take that walk you wanted." Mahado extends his hand for me again. I smile weakly and take his hand. He helps me up, and I descend the throne.

As we head out of the palace, Mahado and Shadi are both called away for duty. I'm slightly relieved. I was hoping for some time alone to think through things. I wander the river banks aimlessly, trying to think of solutions. I can't seem to come up with anything. I sigh heavily before heading back inside.

I go back to the throne room and tend to affairs of the state. Between my duties, I find time to write Atem another letter. My mind fights with my heart as to whether I should tell Atem of my pregnancy. My mind, ever wary of Hittite spies, tells me to keep it a secret. My heart wants Atem to know about his new baby. It kills me to have to keep this secret from him, but at the same time, I have to think about what could happen if Darrius finds out.

My heart wins out. I decide against my better judgment that Atem needs and deserves to know about my pregnancy now.

_My Beloved,_

_I'm so overjoyed to have received your last letter, and am just as happy to hear that you've been able to make great strides in the fields of battle. I'm sure this war will be over in no time, and you'll emerge the victorious hero I've always known you to be. Please don't start to hesitate to describe all the details of your victories, for the women love to rave about their husbands and sons. They so love to revel in your successes. _

_Moreover, it gives me great solace to hear your words of comfort. Your writings always seem to leap of the papyrus and make me feel as if you're actually here to speak to me. I think I need that now. I've been feeling so lonely here without you. I know that's not what you need to hear right now, but my hope is that it inspires you to end this strife that much faster._

_What I am about to say pains me more than you will ever know. Not the content of the disclosure, but the method of delivery. I had no intent to tell you this way, but I know that it's unfair to continue to keep this from you. You deserve to know, and you deserve to hear it from me and me alone. I don't want you to be alarmed, however, because it's actually great news. I just think the timing is a little off, but the Gods rarely keep to mortal timetables. There's not much more I can think to say other than to just tell you flat out. _

_I'm pregnant, love. I found out right after you left. I didn't want to tell you in a letter for fear of it being intercepted by spies, as some of our other letters have been. I mean, who knows what Darrius could do if he were to find out? I was so worried about the baby, but I wasn't thinking about you. This is your child. You have every right to know. I should have told you about the baby the minute I found out I was pregnant, but I was too afraid. I realize now that I've been awfully deceitful and paranoid, and to what end? I just pray that you can forgive me. _

_I don't want you to worry about me, Atem. Shadi and Mahado also know about my pregnancy—despite my reluctance to tell them—and are doing everything in their power to keep me safe. I know for a fact that they would gladly lay down their lives if it came down to it. I just want you to stay focused on the mission at hand. _

_Atem, I just want you to know that I love you so much. And while it kills me not to have you by my side every day, I know that you're doing what you feel is right, and that's all that matters. You're always in my thoughts and prayers. Every second of every day I pray that you and the men will stay safe. _

_I made this ankh especially for you, with all my love, hopes, and prayers. It has the blessings of Isis, Osiris, Neith, Montu, Horus, and most importantly, your true father, Ra. It's made of glass so you can see the healing waters of the Mother Nile. Keep it with you for everlasting protection. _

_Don't let anything distract you, love. Remember what you're fighting for. I may be the surface cause, but you're really fighting for peace and security for our kingdom. That's what gives me peace. I want you to fight with the certainty that many joyful halcyon days await you in Egypt. You have a wife and two—well, three—children who love you more than anything, and can't wait to see you again._

_All my love,_

_Nefertiri_

Just as soon as I finish with my letter, Alex and Anon come rushing in with theirs. "Mommy, Mommy, we wrote our letter!" Alex announces gleefully.

I smile warmly. "I see that! Here, let Mama read." I pick them both up and sit them on my lap. Anon hands me the scroll, and I begin to read.

_Pharaoh, _

_I'm writing this for Alex and me. I know we haven't written before, but we didn't know what to say. I guess most of it was because we didn't want to accept the fact that you were gone, and we weren't ready to face the fact that you could die. We pray every day, with Mommy and by ourselves, that you stay safe and make it back to us in one piece._

_Everything here is going well. Alex and I are studying hard at our lessons. We're getting better and better. And I've started battle studies! I'm really happy, too. Someday I'll be able to fight a great war just like you! I can't wait for you to see what I've learned! _

_Alex has been really sad not having you around. But she is getting through it. She loves it when she gets letters from you, and she's so stunned that you know exactly what she's been doing. I don't want to tell her that Mommy's been telling you everything in her letters. I think it's nice to see her so happily surprised. _

_I miss having you here to talk to, everyone misses you, but I know you'll be back soon. I think Mommy has it the worst. I know that Mahado tries to be there for you, but it's not working. I can see she's hurting. Even when she smiles, when she laughs, I know she really wants to cry. _

_But you know what would make her feel better? You could come visit! That'd be sure to lift her spirits, and ours, too! I know it's a lot to ask, but if you could just think about it, please?_

_Well, that's all for now. We'll let you get back to the fighting._

_Love, _

_Alexandria & Anon_

I wipe the tears in my eyes before they can see. I had no idea how much they knew about my suffering. I resolve to try to find some happiness. Not for me, but for them. I smile weakly. "I'm done with my letter, too, so I'll send them off." I lay their scroll on top of mine with my ankh on top of it, wrap them, and press the royal seal onto the tarp. "Why don't you go out and play while I get this to the courier, all right?" They leave my room, and I depart soon after.

I leave and head straight for the throne room. I find the courier about to enter. He bows deeply. "Your Majesty."

"I need you to get this to the Pharaoh. I want you to see to it that it gets to his hands, and no one else's. This letter CANNOT come up missing. Do you understand me?"

The worry becomes evident on his face. "Of course, my Lady. I'll deliver it myself."

I smile slightly. "Good." He leaves me to my thoughts. I find myself praying that Atem gets the letter soon, and that he forgives me. I pray for victory in the war; I pray that Darrius stops his crusade, and most importantly, I pray that he makes it back to me safely.

* * *

I don't know why that chapter took so much out of me. Hopefully I can get the next one up much faster.

Thanks for reading, and please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning


	19. Human after All

I just keep changing it up! Thanks so much for the lovely reviews, especially Jos!

* * *

Chapter 18:

Human after All

A couple of months have passed since I sent Atem the news of my pregnancy. The courier returned within a week with Atem's reply.

_Nefertiri,_

_I don't have much time, so I must be brief._

_I'll never be able to put into words how happy your letters make me. I can always count on your sweet words to give me relief from the fighting. Speaking of which, things are going very well here. We've been able to win several battles, and push the Hittites far back into their own territory. I'm sure we'll be able to win this war in no time._

_You're pregnant. I don't know what to say. Well, I guess I should start by giving my forgiveness. I know why you were afraid to tell me this way. I would've been scared, too. It means the world to me that you thought enough of my feelings to risk your safety like that. So there's no way I can be upset with you. Next let me say that I'm ecstatic. I'm thrilled. I can't wait to see our new baby and hold him in my arms. But at the same time, I'm terrified. It pains me to know that I can't be there to protect you. I won't be there to feel him kick, or to hold your hand during the birth. But knowing that I now have a new baby depending on my safe return is driving me to be more careful than ever._

_Thank you so much for your ankh. I never take it off. I can actually feel your love flowing through it, and I know that it does protect me. I love you so much for thinking of me. _

_I have to go now. I just want to tell you that I love you more than anything on this Earth, and that I'll never stop fighting for you._

_Your Ever Loving Husband,_

_Atem_

I was so relieved to know that Atem forgave me for being so overly cautious. And while I appreciate his optimism, I can't help be wary. I know that something bad is going to happen to him. I just have to wait and see.

I hate feeling this way, but as much as I try to fight it, I can't overlook my visions and dreams. And I know it's not just the fear taking its toll. The dreams are too real. The visions are too foreboding. I don't want to admit it, but I know there must be some truth here. I just keep finding myself praying that my dreams won't become reality any time soon. I really want Atem to be able to be a part of his child's life, like he deserves.

* * *

I wake up to the news I've been dreading so long. One of Atem's couriers has arrived with urgent news from the campground. It seems as though Atem has been injured in battle. My heart stops. "What do you mean he's been injured? Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes Your Majesty. I was there to help put on the bandages."

I get out of bed, still in my sleeping cloth. "How bad is it?"

"The doctors wouldn't say, Majesty." It has to be awful then. My eyes start to water. "…" I can't find the words to speak. "I… He…"

The courtier reads the question on my face. "He's stable for now, my lady. But he is on his way back to Egypt to recover, for his own safety. The general didn't want to risk an attack on the campground."

I nod. "Good, good." I walk out of the bedroom, still in my thin night cloth. "Who will be taking command of the forces abroad, and who will accompany Atem back here?"

"General Ammon is leading the troops, Majesty, and the Pharaoh will be escorted by one our army's fiercest legions."

"Our army is in good hands with Ammon. He's a gifted general, and a brilliant orator. He should be able to rally them on in Atem's stead. And I trust the legion will be able to protect him on the journey. How many doctors are riding with him?"

"He'll be travelling with the army's three best doctors, as well as our most skilled healers." I raise an eyebrow. While I have nothing against the army's healers and don't doubt their abilities, I know they don't hold a candle to Shadi and his skills. And they're certainly no match for me. I know my husband better than he knows himself, and back when I was a servant, I was taught by all the best healers. If anyone can nurse Atem back to health, it'll be Shadi and me.

"And when will he be arriving?"

"He should be here before dawn tomorrow, deep in the cover of night."

The courier has followed me to the throne room. "Summon the guards and wake the healers, gather the palace servants. I want them all here within the hour. No one else is to know about this gathering, all right?"

He bows deeply. "Yes, my Queen." Within a few minutes of his departure, guards and healers steadily file in. I take my seat and wait for the rest to gather. It isn't long before everyone arrives.

I stand to make my address. "Good morning." I cross my arms over my chest. "My sincerest apologies for waking you all so early, but I have important news that you must hear." They wipe their eyes and focus their attention on me. "I brought this specific group of people here—the guards, the healers, the palatial servants—because no one else needs to know of this." This seems to perk them up. "It has just been brought to my attention that Atem has been injured." They start murmuring and praying amongst themselves. I motion my hands to quiet them. "Don't worry. He's been stabilized. I gathered you all here because Atem is on his way back to Egypt to recover. With that being said, I know that there are a lot of things that need to be done around here, and we don't have a lot of time. Atem will be here just before dawn tomorrow." A stunned gasp. "I know you can do it. All that really needs to be done is the cleaning. I want this palace sparkling from top to bottom. Can you all manage that?" They nod their agreement. "Okay, I need to meet with the healers when everyone else leaves here. You're dismissed."

The servants and the guards leave to attend to their duties. "I asked you all to stay," I get up from the throne, "because this is a very delicate matter. All I've heard is that he's been injured." I start to descend the steps. "I don't know the nature or severity of the injury, except that he's been stabilized, last I heard." One of the healers puts a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. I give a soft smile. "So I want you to be ready for anything. From the smallest cut to the deadliest of wounds, you must be prepared to treat anything. I'm not saying any of this to scare you. I just don't want you to be too frightened of what you might see. I know you view my husband as this strong leader, this indomitable warrior who's incapable of being hurt… and seeing him, having to treat him in the infirmary, you'll see that he's human after all." I tuck some hair behind my ear. "I know that it's a lot to bear, but we'll get through this together. I know we will. You may leave. Prepare the infirmary." They leave promptly.

Once I am alone, I finally break when the realization hits me. My husband has been injured. Seriously injured. If it were anything small he would have just stayed where he was. But, he's coming back to Egypt? He must be about to die. I crumble on the floor like a scarab crushed by an angry foot. The tears come rushing down my face. I cry here on the floor, cold and alone, I have cried all the tears my body will hold. I have to get up. I have to get up from here, but I can't. My body won't move. I will myself to get up from this place.

I walk slowly, softly to my bedroom. This place feels so empty now that I know Atem is coming back. I marvel at how I made it this long without him. I can't remember ever being happy by myself. Almost all my best memories were with Atem. And now that he's coming back here, the anticipation is making me realize how lonely I've been. I have friends. I have my children. But I don't have my husband. I don't have my lover, my confidant. I don't have my best friend, and it haunts me. I only regret that it's taken me this long to realize it.

It's just after dawn. I decide that since Atem will be arriving tonight, I should probably go to sleep later this morning, so I'll be awake. In the meantime, I exhaust myself with cleaning our rooms. Once that's finished, I go and sit out on the balcony. I put my hands to my stomach. I'm getting steadily bigger, but I've been able to hide it with larger cloths. No one suspects a thing, although I'm sure Atem will want to tell them when he arrives. The more eyes he has on me the better, he feels. But it's odd. I'm six months along; the baby should be moving by now. I purse my lips. It could be possible that I lost it, but I would be getting smaller, not bigger, right? Right? I shake my head. I'm getting too worked up over this. I'm sure the baby will be fine. Is fine. But I decide it couldn't hurt to ask Shadi about it.

I leave and make my way across the palace and to Shadi's room. I knock softly before entering. Shadi sits at the table, deep in thought. He looks up to see me. "My Queen, what brings you here today?"

"Oh, Shadi, I'm sorry. Don't let me disturb you." I turn to leave.

"No disturbance at all, Your Majesty. What's wrong?"

"I'm just concerned about the baby. I'm not feeling any movement. I mean, I'm six months along now, and I should be feeling something, but… nothing. I'm not feeling anything at all. I just want to know that everything's okay."

"Well of course, my lady. Here, have a seat. I'll take a look." He sits me down in his chair and helps me get comfortable. He checks my pulse and takes my vitals. He then feels my stomach and makes some notes. Finally he says a prayer over me before having me drink some water from the Mother Nile. "I don't think there's anything particularly wrong. Sometimes it's normal not to feel any movement until almost when the baby comes, if at all. Some women don't feel anything and go on to have perfectly healthy babies. Although you do seem pretty exhausted. More so than just ordinary stress. I think this pregnancy is really taking a toll on you. I recommend that you try to take it easy if you can. You can't keep working yourself to the bone like you are. Your body will naturally work to protect the baby, but who do you have to protect you?"

I nod solemnly. I know what he's saying is true. But I can't not work. It's all I know to keep working no matter what, and besides, who will run the kingdom if I decide to stop what I'm doing to sit around and be pregnant? I don't think Shadi is understanding the predicament I'm in. I sigh and rise to leave. "Thank you, Shadi, for everything. I'll think about what you said, really."

He bows deeply before walking me to the door. "Please do, my Queen."

Ra is well past his halfway point in the sky. I make my way to the throne room to let everyone know that I'll be sleeping soon. The Guardians approach me upon my entrance. "Good afternoon. As you know, Atem will be returning late tonight. I want to be awake when he gets here, so I'm going to retire for the day. I would greatly appreciate it if you could—"

"No problem, Nefertiri," Mahado says. In addition to being a priest of Ra, Mahado is one of our Guardians as well, along with Shadi, too, although Shadi doesn't work in close proximity to the rest. "We'll look after things while you rest."

"Thank you, I really appreciate it," I say before I leave.

* * *

I'm awakened from a restful sleep by what I recognize to be Atem's most trusted courtier. "My lady, the Pharaoh sent me ahead of his caravan to inform you that he'll be arriving within the hour."

"Within the hour?" I spring awake. "Leave it to Atem to give me little to no warning! I swear to Ra when I get my hands on him I'll make him rue the day he ever laid eyes on me…"

"I—I'm sorry, I didn't know—"

"Doesn't he know I need time to…?" I go in the washroom to get dressed. I decide to put on a nice cloth for the occasion, but nothing too fancy. Atem doesn't like to be made a fuss over. "All right. I'm ready." I make my way to the throne room to wait for him. I smile when I realize that in a few minutes I'll be seeing my husband for the first time in six months. I can't wait to see him again. No matter how badly he's hurt, I can't wait to lay eyes on him.

Another courtier enters. "Your Highness, the Pharaoh is here."

Before I know it I'm out the door and at the gates of the palace. A smile breaks free when I make out Atem's face in the middle of the crowd. I run blindly to him and leap into his arms. "Oh, how I've missed you! I can't believe you're here. You're really here."

He holds me close. "I've missed you more, love. There's no place I'd rather be." He carries me inside and to our rooms. "How've you been? And the baby? I've missed you so much." He puts a hand to my stomach, and to my surprise, the baby moves. He kicks clear as day.

"Oh my gosh! The baby moved… This was the first time!" He hugs me tight. "Oh, I was so worried. Thank you." I smile softly before helping him to bed. "What happened to you?"

He removes his tunic to show me that his chest is covered in bandages. I gasp and reach out to touch him. "I was injured in battle, by an arrow. Luckily it missed my heart and lungs, but it took the doctors a while to remove it, so they think it's infected. That's why I came back here, to get help with the infection, but more importantly, I had to see you."

I wipe the tears that fell. "I'm sorry. I just feel so awful about all this. If it weren't for me, none of this would have happened." I start to cry again.

Atem grabs me and holds me close. "Listen to me. None of this is your fault. If you're looking for someone to blame, it's Darrius. You didn't tell him to come here and try to rape you. You didn't tell him to declare war on us, and you didn't tell his archers to fire that day. He did. So please, stop blaming yourself."

"You're right. You're right. I'm being pretty silly about all this, aren't I?"

This solicits a smile from him. "It's perfectly fine, love. We all have our moments."

"I guess. I guess you're right. But how long will you be staying in Egypt, Atem?"

"I'm not sure. As long as it takes to cure the infection, but I should be getting back to the men. I don't like that they're out there fighting without me, especially when I'm the one who sent them into battle."

"I know, dear, but you can't help the fact that you got injured. You're better off here, healing, than in battle right now. The smallest of cuts could kill you. You know that. Besides, Ammon is a very capable general. The men will be fine under his command. But you? You need to rest. You can't recuperate if you're worrying about all the other things you can't do."

"You're right, you're right." He pulls me down to lay with him.

"Atem, promise me something…"

"Anything, love. You just name it." He rubs my belly, and the baby keeps moving. I smile softly as he gets me situated before making himself comfortable.

"Atem, promise me… Promise me that you'll make it back. Promise me Darrius won't kill you. Promise you won't die. Promise me you'll get to watch our child grow up…" Tears flood my eyes.

"Nefertiri, you know I can't promise that. I can't speak for Darrius and his men. But I'll be okay. I promise I'll be as careful as I can. If something happens to me, it won't be my fault. I have too much going for me not to make it back." He kisses me softly. "Come now, let's get some sleep." I nod softly and relax, but sleep eludes me. Atem is right. He can't speak for Darrius or his men. As careful as he promises he'll be, there are just too many unknowns for me to keep the false hope that he'll make it back alive. He's already been injured. What's next? I shake my head. I can't think such thoughts. It's not good for anyone. I need to try to stay positive. But the more I try, the more my mind tells me to be realistic about this. I sigh to myself as I turn over to look out at the river.

* * *

I personally don't think this is one of my better chapters, but feel free to let me know what you think! That's what counts!

Dead Reckoning


	20. In Sweet Memory

The story starts to get back on track with the original in this chapter, but there are still a lot of changes to be made. Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews! You guys keep me in it!

* * *

Chapter 19:

In Sweet Memory…

I sigh sadly as I wake up with Atem's arms around me. It's almost time for him to leave again. He healed quickly, but he managed to squeeze in a little more time to spend with me. And while I loved every minute of it, my mind was too preoccupied with him having to leave to really enjoy anything. I hate having to say goodbye, and I just feel so empty without him. I almost wish he hadn't come back. I know it's wrong to feel this way, but I honestly can't blame myself. Atem knew that if he came back, we would get attached all over again, and saying goodbye would be that much harder! He wasn't thinking; he just wasn't thinking.

I wipe the angry tears that have since fallen. I can't be upset now. A huge birthday feast has been planned tonight for Anon. My day of birth has since come and gone. I didn't celebrate. I had no reason to. I turned 24 alone. But Mahado, gods bless him, tried so hard to make it worthwhile. I can't thank him enough for being there for me in all this. And Shadi, too. I don't know where I'd be without those two.

But Anon has the whole world ahead of him. He's only 7 years old today, and he has the gift of learning anything he puts his mind to. But he's already decided that he wants his future to be in the priesthood. He wants to follow in Mahado's footsteps, as a priest, and one day if he's lucky, a Guardian. I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast. In no time he'll be leaving for Abydos, to receive his formal training. I know he'll be overjoyed to go, but I don't know what I'm going to do without him. That won't be for another 6 years, however. I must make the most of the time I do have left with him.

I get up and go to the washroom. The baby starts moving all around, so I take a lap around the room to try and soothe him. It seems to work. I go to Anon's room to wake him. I smile as I come upon him sleeping peacefully. I go to him and take his hand in mine. He smiles as he wakes up and lays eyes on me. "Mama…"

I smile down at him and pick him up. "Hey, baby. Guess what today is?"

He rubs his eyes as he lets his thoughts register. "It's my birthday!"

I hug him tighter. "Uh huh! Are you excited?"

"Yes, I can't wait for the banquet tonight." He smiles brightly up at me.

"Neither can I. I think you'll be so happy with your gifts." Little does he know, I've had a bow, quiver, and arrows made especially for him. He loves archery and can't seem to find a set that's just right for him. He's going to be so surprised. I blink and put a hand to my stomach as the baby starts to move all around.

"Is that my little brother? Can I feel?"

"Sure, here…" I place his hand on my stomach at the right spot. "He's moving a lot. He must be excited about your birthday."

"How does he know it's my birthday, Mama?"

"He can tell. Little brothers have a sense about these things, you know."

"Really?"

"Really. Come on, let's go wake the Pharaoh." He never calls him father or anything of the like. We go into our rooms, and to my surprise, Atem is already awake and rubbing salve on his wounds. "Good morning, love."

He smiles as he wraps me in a warm embrace. "Hello, lover." He smiles down at Anon. "And here we have the birthday boy. How old are you today son? 23?"

"No, I'm still young! I'm seven!"

"So 23 is old to you?" I interject, feigning hurt feelings.

"No, Mommy. I was only jesting." He climbs into my arms.

The rest of the day passed smoothly enough. I spent the time playing with Anon while Atem attends to the royal duties and prepares to leave for battle again. I try not to think about it, but with his departure coming so soon now, it's far from the last thing on my mind.

It's almost time for the banquet. I pull Anon from the river. "Come on, Anon. We have to get dressed for your banquet. You don't want to celebrate smelling of the stables, do you?"

"No, I suppose not. Let's go!" He takes off before I know it, and I'm hard-pressed to catch up with him. I send him to his room to wash and change, while I retire to my own rooms.

The bath water is nice and steamy, just like I like it. I run some cool water to make sure it's not too hot for the baby. I rub my stomach to soothe him as I ease into the wash basin. The water feels so good against my tender muscles, and my body almost instantly relaxes. I wash quietly while the baby moves all around in my stomach. I smile softly. I can't wait to meet the little one. I start to imagine what he'll look like. I do so hope he looks like Atem. Alex looks just like me, but with his eyes.

I manage to pull myself from the water and enter our bedchamber just as Atem comes in. "Well hello," he says before grabbing me into a hug. "Where've you been? Where's Anon?"

"Anon and I spent the day together, and he's off getting ready, just as you should be." I hand him a tunic and some trousers. Once he gets dressed, I give him a good once over before getting dressed as well. I decide on one of my nicest cloths for the occasion, deep blue with gold embroidery.

"How is the baby?" Atem asks as he puts a hand to my stomach.

I smile softly. "He's doing just fine. He was moving around a lot today. He's been very active lately." I move Atem's hands so he can feel a kick here and there. "I was just imagining what he'd look like today," I mention as I start to fix my hair.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. I want him to look just like you. It'd be a shame not to pass on your dashing good looks, love." I kiss him softly.

"That may be, lover, but he must have your eyes." He smiles gently down at me.

"Okay, that's everything. I think we're ready to go now." Atem takes my hand, and we stop off at Anon's room before making our way to the Dining Hall.

* * *

The banquet is just lovely. Everyone is having a good time, laughing and dancing. I smile as I watch Alex and Anon glide across the dance floor. They look so graceful together. I can't help but laugh at all the little girls who want to dance with my son, but he'll hear none of it. He only has eyes for Alex tonight. It's really sweet of him to make her feel involved like this. He really is such a sweet boy.

It's time to eat. I gather everyone at the table, and make sure they have their wine. I settle for some juice. Before I can have the first sip, Anon takes my glass and tries some for himself. "I'll have what she's having, please."

"Are you sure, sweetie? You're old enough for one glass of wine with dinner."

"No, thank you. I don't want to get drunk." It's all I can do not to burst into laughter. To say that my son is observant is more than an understatement to be sure.

After Atem and I finish eating, we make our way to the dance floor. We sashay so smoothly on the floor it's almost like we're floating along, the way Isis and Osiris would have. We sit back down, and I take another sip of my juice. There's a slight after taste. I can't quite put my finger on it. I wonder if Anon tasted the same thing, or if it's just me. "Anon did you notice anything odd about your juice? Like a weird after taste or something?"

"Hmm, now that you mention it, the juice did taste a little odd. I think I'll go—" As he moves to get up, he suddenly collapses.

"Oh my Ra!" I go to him and pick him up. "Anon, baby are you all right?" I shake him, but there's no response. "Baby, baby please wake up. Mommy needs you to wake up now, baby." I start to cry. Why isn't he waking up? Why won't he answer me?

Shadi rushes over. "Let me take him, my Queen." He takes him back into the palace, to his own room. I rush after him, but he won't let me in the room. Atem appears soon after.

"He won't let me in! Why can't I be in there? Why can't I see my son?" My cries turn into hysterical sobs.

"He's just being cautious, love. We don't want to risk harming you or the baby until we know exactly what happened. You'll be able to see him soon, love. I promise."

"Why did I let him take my glass? I should have checked it first!"

"No one could have predicted this, Nefertiri. It's better for you to remain calm, sweetheart. You know that."

"My baby…" My legs give out, and I collapse on the floor. Atem holds me close here for the next few hours as Shadi works tirelessly to try to save Anon. I can't bring myself to move at all, not even when my stomach starts to growl. I didn't get a chance to eat very much at the banquet. Atem has one of the servants bring me a light meal so I don't have to leave.

I wait here for hours, until almost dawn. Shadi finally comes back out. "Your Highness, I—"

"How is he doing? When can I see him? Is he all right?"

He chokes. He looks down at the floor, as if trying to figure out a way to tell me what he needs to say.

"Shadi, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Your Majesty, I… I… I don't know how to say this."

"What is it, Shadi? Just tell me what's wrong." I start to get nervous. He wouldn't be this way if everything was all right. It must be something bad. I start to cry. "Shadi, please…"

"Anon, he… He didn't make it."

"WHAT?" I can't believe it. I fall back and into Atem's arms. "What do you mean he didn't make it? Tell me you're lying, Shadi! Tell me this is some kind of sick joke, please…"

"I only wish I was, Majesty. I think he was poisoned. I just can't figure out who would do this. Surely, they would go after one of you," he says before wiping his eyes.

"I want to see him," I move past them both and make my way into the room. Anon looks so peaceful laying there. It's almost as if he's only sleeping. I start to cry as I take his cold, lifeless hand in mine. "I'm so sorry, baby. Mama's sorry…"

I hear Atem come in behind me. "I loved him like my own son…" He puts his hands on my shoulders, and I can feel the tears as they fall from his face.

"I should have protected him… Why couldn't I protect him?" I break into tears.

"No one could have protected him… None of us knew this was going to happen, Nefertiri."

"That's not good enough!" I scream without meaning to. "I'm sorry. I just—"

"It's okay, love. I understand."

"My son is dead… My baby is gone…" Atem holds me while I cry on his shoulder.

* * *

Anon is given every funeral right befitting a prince. I know Atem didn't have to do all this for my son, but it means the world to me that he did. He always loved Anon like his own son. I know his death hurts Atem as much as it hurts me. I keep asking myself why I had to lose him like this. What I had done to offend the gods so.

During the funeral rites, all I can't think about is the torture I went through to have him. We had such a short time together. I think about being pregnant.

_I When I first found out I was pregnant, I cursed the gods for forsaking me and letting this happen. I knew Ahmenhotep and the other priests would kill my baby for sure, if not me also._

_I remember not wanting Anon, but after Mahado took me in and protected me, I began to look forward to being a mother._

_I was in Mahado's room the first time I felt him kick in my belly. I was telling him about my early childhood and all the things I got to do, when I suddenly felt some kneading on the inside of my stomach. I gasped, and my mouth curled into a smile. "Nefertiri, is everything all right?" Mahado asked worriedly._

_I looked down at my fairly small belly and put my hands there. "Mahado, the baby! The baby moved!" Tears welled in my eyes. "Come, feel…" He got up and came to me. Just as he put his hand to my stomach, the baby moved again. Mahado smiled down at me._

_And I'll never forget the day Anon was born._

_I was carrying a pot of fresh drinking water to Mahado's room when I felt some sudden kicks and a cramp in my lower stomach. I dropped the pot which shattered on the floor, and one of the shards had lodged in my foot. That wasn't my main concern, though. I was more worried about my baby._

_I fell to my knees and managed a scream. Just as I hit the floor, my water broke. I knew the baby was coming. Mahado rushed to me. "Nefertiri, what's the matter? Are you okay?"_

_I put both my hands to my stomach. "The baby…" I groaned. "The baby's coming."_

_"Oh, oh no…" He picked me up and took me to his room. He laid me down and went to heat up some water. "Try to stay your breathing. Calm down; it will make it easier and less painful, okay? Easy now, easy…" I did as I was told while he gathered fresh linens to wrap the baby in._

_Once the water was heated, he brought it to me and wet a cloth. He placed it on my forehead and lifted my cloth up to my stomach. He spread my legs and placed cloths there. "Nefertiri, remember to stay your breathing."_

_I made sure to deepen and lengthen my breaths. I quickly drew in air through my clenched teeth and let out a strained moan. I felt him coming through. "Oh my Ra…" I swallow. "Mahado, the baby's coming now!"_

_That was the most agonizing pain I'd ever felt. "Calm down. Just calm down and push. As I count." He counted to ten and told me to rest. We went through this ritual for countless hours._

_When I was finally ready to give up, Mahado congratulated me. "You have a nice, healthy son." I heard my baby's cries, and tears sprang to my own eyes. "You just rest while I clean him up and make sure he's all right." I closed my eyes and laid back for a while. Mahado came and woke me up. "Here," he said as he handed me a tiny bundle in a cloth._

_He was so small, so fragile. I looked at his tiny face and noticed how adorable he was. I started to cry as I held him close to my. "My baby…" I swallow the lump in my throat. "My son." At that very moment, he opened his eyes and looked up at me. They were a beautiful golden yellow, and the most amazing smile crossed his face. I smiled back down at him and began to feed him._

_"What are you going to name him, Nefertiri?" Mahado asked._

_I looked back up at him. "Anon."_

_He blinked. "Without name?"_

_I nodded. "Like his father." I loved Anon and took care of him for just two months. _

_The memory of the day he was taken still haunts me. _

_I take Anon from Shadi, the new Palace Healer, back to Mahado's room. He had a cough, and I wanted to make sure it was nothing serious. The Priests of Ra minus Mahado blocked my path. I held Anon closer to me. "Give us the child," Ahmenhotep began._

_"NO!" I yelled as I tightened my grip that much more._

_"Give us the baby!"_

_"Never! I'm not letting you take my son away!" they came closer, and I instinctively backed away. "Get away from me!"_

_"Give us the boy or we'll kill you both!"_

_"I said NO!" I screamed. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my back, right behind my heart. My vision blurred, and I lost consciousness._

_I woke up a few hours later in Mahado's room. I struggled to breath but finally managed short breaths against the tight, wet bandages on my chest. I looked around, but Anon was nowhere to be seen. "Mahado… Mahado where's Anon?"_

_"Nefertiri, they took him… I'm so sorry." I tried to get up, to go and rescue my son, but Mahado wouldn't let me. "You can't move. Please, Nefertiri." He gently pushed me back down on his bed. "They stabbed you. The knife went through your heart. It's a wonder you're even alive right now. You shouldn't be moving around."_

_Tears welled in my eyes, and I started to cry. "My baby is gone…"_

Mahado finishes the burial rites, and I go to Anon's room. I pick up the ankh he wore for protection and put it around my neck. I smile softly as I feel some of his energy flowing through me, but it soon becomes too painful to stay here.

* * *

I leave for the throne room and am surprised when I see Shadi holding a man in chains. "Shadi what is all this?" I ask as I take the throne.

"Majesty, I have found the man who poisoned Anon."

"WHAT?"

"I knew there was some ulterior motive here, so I searched the entire palace. I came across this man, Kesim. He has openly admitted to being a Hittite spy…"

"How could you do this to me?" I scream before Atem can start. I rise and dismount the throne. "How could you hurt an innocent child? He didn't do anything to anyone!"

"I was sent to kill you, Nefertiri. Your child grabbed the wrong goblet."

I slap him with a fury I never knew I had. "You will show me the respect I deserve! Who sent you?"

"My master is none other than King Darrius," he says before grabbing me, "and I have strict orders to bring you back to him alive."

Atem rushes forward and I put my hands up to stop him. This man is clearly out of his mind. "Let go of my wife Kesim!" Kesim responds by placing a knife to my throat, and I can feel him drawing blood.

I try to reason with him. "Please, Kesim. You don't have to do this…"

He ignores my pleas. "But I do, Nefertiri. The king wants you as his own, and nothing will stop him."

I have to think of a way out of this. I summon Isis to help me. Suddenly my skin begins to heat up, and I feel the Goddess' presence within me. My eyes burn, and I find the strength to summon my spirit beast. "Darkness Phoenix, attack!" The room becomes dark, and I feel my beast come forth. She grabs the man and disappears with him. I put my hand to my forehead. "He's gone now. He can't hurt us anymore."

Atem and Mahado step forth, and Shadi takes his place beside me. "Nefertiri, you're hurt," Atem says.

"What do you mean? I'm fine, Atem?"

"Nefertiri…"

I follow his gaze down to my dress. It's stained with blood, and a large pool of blood is forming on the floor. I put my hands to my stomach and feel the baby kicking frantically. "I don't feel so well…" I fall to the floor before losing consciousness.

* * *

I wake up in my bedchamber surrounded by Atem, Shadi, and Mahado. It takes a few moments to fully regain consciousness. I put my hands to my stomach as I feel the baby moving. I feel sheer relief to know that he's okay. I try to regain my voice. I'm not surprised when it takes a few minutes. "Wha… What happened?"

Shadi starts to explain. "Summoning your spirit beast took a lot out of you, my queen, and I'm afraid you've lost a lot of blood, both from the wound to your neck and expenditure of energy." He moves closer to change my bandages. "It's going to take a lot of time to regain your strength."

"How long do you think it will take?" I ask.

"We can't be sure. Everyone heals differently. It's best that you just calm down and rest for now," he says before taking his leave. Mahado wishes me well but then follows Shadi out of the room.

I look at Atem as he places his hand on my stomach to feel the baby's kicks. "Atem, I… I'd like to be alone, please."

"Of course, love." He kisses me softly before leaving. I look to my bedside table and Anon's ankh. I reach for it and clutch it close to me as I start to cry.

* * *

Well, that chapter was certainly daunting to write. I tried to incorporate a little action into the story with this one. As always, please leave a review!

Dead Reckoning


	21. Egression Pains

Chapter 20:

Egression Pains

I wake up in Atem's arms with the Sun shining brightly in my face. I feel Anon here with me and smile to myself. I get out and go out to the balcony.

Tears flood my eyes as I realize that Atem and the men are going back to war today. I've already lost my son, and now I might lose my husband, too. He's already been injured. What's next? I can't stand the thought. I hear Atem awaken and come out to see me. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. "Atem?"

"Yes, love?"

"You have to promise me something."

"Of course, Nefertiri. Anything."

"Promise me that you'll be careful, please… I don't want to lose you, too." I start to cry. He shushes me and hugs me tightly.

"I will, love. I promise I will. I won't let him get the best of me. I won't let you lose me."

"Good." I rest my head against his chest. We stay like this for a while. I love this feeling. We spend most of the day together, enjoying each other's company before he has to go. Atem then goes to attend some duties.

I make my way back to bed to rest, per Shadi's instructions. I'm to be on bedrest for half the day, and I'm free to do as I please for the rest of the day. I rub my growing belly as I wait for Shadi to come and make his daily check-up. I gather my papyri and begin to read.

Shadi enters and I flash him a soft smile. I'm more than a little surprised when I see a slight blush tint his cheeks. I think nothing of it and offer him a chair next to my bed. He sits and begins his prayers to the Trinity—Isis, Hathor (1), and Heqet (2). I meditate as he prays to stay calm. I can't shake the feeling that something awful is going to happen soon, and as the more I try to fight it, the stronger the feeling grows.

He notices the worried look on my face. "Is everything all right, my Queen?"

I shake my head and smile again. "Yes, Yes. I'm fine."

"Are you sure, Majesty? You seem troubled."

I nod slightly. "I'm sure. Everything's okay."

He nods and moves toward me. He checks my vitals, and rubs my stomach to feel the baby's kicks. He hands me a strengthening potion and takes his seat again. "I'm happy to report that everything looks to be okay. You should be able to come off bedrest in no time."

I smile softly. "That'll be the day."

He lets loose a soft chuckle. "Cheer up, my lady. I assure you, it'll happen in no time."

I sit up against our pillows. "Yeah, sure."

He lays his hand on mine. "I'll leave you to your thoughts, Majesty." He gathers his supplies and whisks out of the room. I lie back and take a few deep breaths to stay the baby. Before I know it, I'm asleep.

_

* * *

_

I rub my large belly as I hear the case for the last petitioner. I make my ruling in his favor and smile as he leaves happily. With my duties done for the day, I decide to go and spend some quiet time with Alex. I rise and dismount the throne when all too suddenly an agonizing cramp assaults my lower stomach. I release a scream, and collapse in a pool of blood.

_I wake up in a dimly lit room with Mahado and Shadi standing over me. "Nefertiri, it's time. You're having the baby," Mahado begins._

_My thoughts register as I feel the baby pushing down as he tries to come out. "Oh, I…" I scream in anguish as he pushes down on me. I start to push as I feel my organs contracting to make it easier. Shadi has his hands between my legs, ready to pull once the baby actually starts coming. _

_The labor is daunting. Hours and hours pass, with still no sign of him. I'm frustrated to the point of despair. I can feel him right there, but as much as I push he won't come through. I pray to Isis for the strength to continue on like this. I sit up to begin pushing again. I push and I push, and I scream as I finally feel him coming through. I smile to myself as he passes out of my body. _

_"Congratulations, Majesty. You have a son." My grin becomes a bright smile. A son. A chance to get it right this time. I know I failed Anon, but I won't fail my new son._

_Shadi takes him to clean him up. He calls Mahado over, and I can feel the tone of the room change. Mahado takes the baby from him and hands him to me before backing away. I look in his eyes and can tell he's absolutely terrified. "Mahado, I—" He looks down at the baby, and I do the same._

_I move the cloth away from his little face, and am horrified. His skin is an awful deep gray, almost black, like the color of slate rock. And his eyes… His eyes are as black as night. This isn't my son. This is a monster, come to terrify me._

* * *

I wake up screaming, crying, and in a cold sweat. Atem comes rushing in. "Nefertiri, I was just coming to see you. What's wrong?"

I wipe the sweat from my brow as he sits down beside me. "Nothing, nothing. It was just a bad dream."

"It sounded like more than that."

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry to scare you."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"No, no. I don't want to trouble you."

"You're never any trouble, love." He wraps his arms around me and moves to sit with me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nod and lay back against him. "I'm fine, love. I promise." He nods and rests with me for a few moments.

We hear little footsteps running towards us. "Mommy, Daddy!" Alex runs and jumps on the bed with us before snuggling up to Atem. She's always been her Daddy's little princess.

"Hi, sweetie," I greet her as I give her a kiss and a hug.

"Hello, Princess," Atem says as he does the same.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"Daddy why do you have to leave again? I don't want you to go!" I put my hand to my mouth. I certainly wasn't expecting that.

Atem swallows the lump in his throat and holds her closer. "I know, baby, and I don't want to go. But I have to protect you and Mommy. There are very bad people out there that want to see us get hurt."

"Okay, Daddy, but promise me you'll come back soon."

"Of course, Princess. I'll come back just as soon as I can." She snuggles up to him, and we tell her stories to pass the time.

Mahado knocks before entering. "Pharaoh, my Queen, it's time for the summoning."

"Right, of course." Atem gets up and holds his hand out to me. I take it and pick Alex up. We head to the Summoning Arena, and take our seats before Atem begins the oratory.

"As we go back to war, I want you to remember what we're fighting for. Look upon the face of the Queen and remember you motivation. As you probably know, my wife—your queen—is also expecting our next child. So not only are you fighting for her, but for your unborn heir as well. Remember this and let it give you the strength to fight."

They cheer loudly, and I hear things like, "Remember why we fight!"

"Remember the Jewel of Egypt!"

"For our heir!"

I start to cry. More lives will be me and my baby. I can't take this. I look down at my belly. There's a possibility that my baby might not know his father. It pains me to my heart.

It's my turn to speak. I rise and take a deep breath. "I stand before you today… to encourage you to stay strong. Not for me and my baby, but for your own wives and mothers. I know it gets hard sometimes, but you must persevere. My baby and I are most appreciative and thankful for your bravery. It means the world to me. It really does. I thank you all so much."

They cheer louder still, and we go to feast. I recite the opening prayers, and we begin to eat. Once we are done, we retire to the Royal Gardens for the final goodbyes. Atem and I hold each other for a long while. I don't want him to leave, and I know he doesn't want to go. Separating like this is so painful. I don't know that I can take this again. Especially this time, being pregnant, knowing that I'm pregnant this time. Atem was there to share in everything when I was expecting Alex, and now he won't be here for any of the firsts with this baby.

It comes time for them to leave. We share a long goodbye kiss that is still too short, and before I know it, he's gone.

* * *

A couple months have passed since Atem left. It's so hard without him. I love him so much. He's my life. I miss him more than I ever thought possible, and my anguish grows by the day.

It's almost time for me to have the baby. I'm so big now; you couldn't possibly miss it. I feel him moving and rolling all around in my belly.

I look out the window at the river and the rest of Thebes beyond it. It's still well before dawn, but I can't sleep for the life of me, so I get up and head out to the balcony. I pray and ask the Gods to keep Atem and the men safe. I would absolutely die if I lost him, too.

Mahado comes in after a while. "Nefertiri, may I come in?"

"Of course, of course. Come sit down." He comes in and sits down beside me,

"How're you feeling, Nefertiri?"

"I'm all right. It's just really hard, going through this pregnancy with Atem."

He wraps his arm around my waist. "I know it's hard, Nefertiri. You can get through this; I know you will. You're a strong woman, and the people are looking to you to see how to whole situation with grace."

I smile slightly. "Thank you, Mahado. That really means a lot to me."

"Anytime." I rest my head on his shoulder. He hugs me and holds me close. I know that with him here, I can get through this.

I look down at my stomach as the baby moves. It seems like now every time I think about the baby I can't help but think about Anon. Yes, this baby is a miracle for sure, but I can't help thinking that I had to lose my son to get to this point. He was my everything, my reason for living. He gave me the strength to bear through that hell-hole I called being a servant. He gave my life purpose, meaning, and hope. Life is hard without him. I just have to keep telling myself that he is in a better place, that he is away from this life, away from his father and the men who hurt him. That is the only positive from all this—he's finally free.

Mahado has really been there for me. He listens to me, comforts me. He holds me close and tells me it'll be okay. He lets me cry to him, and sometimes he even cries to me. We help each other through this. We were the only parents Anon really had.

I owe Mahado so much. I don't know that I could survive this point in my life—losing Anon and being without Atem—without Mahado with me. He is like my rock, my armor against the loneliness. I can't help for him, though. I know he has feelings for me, and I've come to terms with the fact that I have feelings for him, too, but we can never be together in that special way. I know it pains him because at times it pains me.

I waddle out of the palace on the south side to watch Ra descend into the west behind the mountains. It's always such a beautiful sight; it gives me such peace. I barely manage to sit down in the sand when the crier rushes to me. "My Queen, My Queen! An urgent message from the Pharaoh's camp!"

"Oh, dear." I take the scroll from him and begin to read it.

_Your Highness,_

_It upsets me a great deal to have to tell you this, but the Pharaoh was injured yet again in battle. It's another arrow wound, to the stomach. The Pharaoh is not doing well, and this time the journey home could very well cost him his life. He bids me write this letter to request your presence here, once you have the baby. The Pharaoh would like nothing more than to be with you now._

_Your humble servant,_

_Ammon_

Tears flood my eyes, my heart aches, and my breathing goes shallow. I manage to find the strength to get up and head to the stables. I saddle my horse, Khepri, and command the servants to prepare me a bad of supplies for the journey.

Mahado and Shadi come rushing out to me. "We heard that you were out here saddling your horse. What do you think you're doing? You're certainly not in any condition to ride!" Mahado starts.

"Atem has been injured again. I have to go see him."

"Are you mad? You'll never be able to make the journey to Kadesh in your state," he argues.

"I don't care. I have to see him before—"

"So you'd risk your baby's life just to tend to some wounds?"

That hurts. My face becomes an icy glare. "I wouldn't expect you to understand." I mount, and Shadi hands me the supply sack.

"I know it would be foolish to try and stop you, so please allow me to accompany you, Majesty. I'll do my best to make sure no harm comes to your baby," Shadi asks.

I nod to him. "Yes, of course, Shadi. I was going to ask you to come."

"I'm coming, too—" Mahado starts.

I give him a hard look. "I don't need you. Besides, you've made your opinion clear. I refuse to ride alongside someone who thinks me foolish for loving my husband and wanting to be by his side," I reply coldly before kicking Khepri into a trot. Shadi and I start off on the ride to Kadesh. The trip will take three days if we're lucky. I just hope and pray that nothing else happens to Atem before I get there…

* * *

1-Hathor: Hathor was a goddess of motherhood in Ancient Egypt.

2-Heqet: Heqet was a goddess of childbirth in Ancient Egypt.

I don't know WHY it took me so long to write this. I promise I'll have the next update out faster.

Thanks for reading, and please leave a review.


	22. Reflections of a Pharaoh

This chapter was originally supposed to be set to a song, but seeing as I combined two chapters that used different songs, I thought that would be too confusing. Luckily there is still a certain degree of continuity without it.

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Chapter 21:

Reflections of a Pharaoh

They say I'm getting better, but I keep feeling worse and worse. I slowly feel what's left of my life slipping away. I keep a strong front for Nefertiri and the men, but that's all I can manage at this point. I know losing me would kill Nefertiri and Alex, but I'm honestly almost ready to give up.

Nefertiri arrived three days ago, still heavily pregnant. To say I was surprised would be a grave understatement. I still don't know how she managed the journey being so far along. But even in her current condition, Nefertiri has been so good to me. She's stayed by my side this entire time. She hasn't left me once, not for anything. I truly appreciate having her in my life. She's my angel. Even with all the horrible things I've done to her over the years, she still loves me the same. She's too good for me.

Sometimes I wish I could just give up; the pain is almost unbearable. Breathing can be the most laborious task. But I bear through it for the hope that I can make it to see Nefertiri have our baby, and because I know that giving up would hurt Nefertiri that much worse, and I never want to hurt her.

I honestly thank Ra for Nefertiri. She's like my guardian angel, always watching out for me. She takes away from the pain. She talks to me, and we share our hopes and dreams. They always involve each other. I know she loves me with everything she has, and I love her the same.

I often think it'll be easier on everyone if I did give up. That way they can stop hanging on to the faith hope that I'll survive. I know I'm going to die, but I'd rather it be sooner than later. I know it'll hurt Nefertiri to her heart, possibly even her soul, but maybe…

Maybe she can find someone else to love. I wouldn't mind so much as long as he treated her well. I know Mahado has deep-rooted feelings for Nefertiri; I can tell by the way he looks at her—the love I see in his eyes. I really wouldn't mind her being with him. He's a good, honest man. He would be very good to her. Even still, I also know that Shadi harbors an intense love for Nefertiri as well. And as good and honest a man as Mahado is, Shadi is, too. He would also make a good match. In the end I guess I don't really care who she chooses as long as she's happy. That's all I could ever really want.

I want to give them my blessings to be with her when I'm gone. I find Mahado first, as he comes to me to perform the daily prayers. He got here about a day and a half after Nefertiri and Shadi. We pray together, and I decide now is the right time. "Mahado, can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course, my Pharaoh. Anything."

"Mahado, you know you are my most trusted advisor, and one of my closest friends."

"Yes, Pharaoh Atem."

"I want you to know that I know you have feelings for Nefertiri. I don't mind; I'm not upset. I think you would be very good to her. So I want you to know that when I'm gone, if you want to be with her, I'll give you my blessings. I want her to be happy, and I know she'd be happy with you."

He blinks. "I… I don't know what to say… I'm honored that you would want me to be with her."

I smile to him. "Just be good to her, Mahado. That's all I really want."

"My Pharaoh, I'm touched. I… I promise I'll treat her well."

My smile grows. "Good."

"I'll leave you to your rest, Pharaoh Atem."

Just before I close my eyes, as if on cue, Shadi enters. I lie back and wait for him to gather his supplies for his daily checks. He removes the bandages from my wound before treating it with ointment and wrapping it with fresh linens. He checks my pulse and other vitals before telling me that I'm getting better.

"That's good. Shadi, I'd like to talk to you about something."

"What is it, my Pharaoh? Is everything all right"

"Everything is fine, Shadi. I've just been thinking about things."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I've been thinking about what's going to happen, once I'm gone. I've been thinking a lot about Nefertiri."

He raises an eyebrow. "Okay…"

"What I'm saying is, I know you have feelings for Nefertiri, and when I'm gone, if you should decide to pursue her, I'm not mad. I think you would be a good match for her."

He just stares at me. "Are you serious?"

I can't help but smile. "Of course I'm serious. I know it's a lot to handle, so I'll let you think about it."

"Of course, my Pharaoh." He leaves me to my thoughts.

Nefertiri waddles in on swollen ankles. My poor wife; she still hasn't had the baby yet. I know he has to be taking his toll on her, but she bears it in stride. I know deep down inside she likes being pregnant, being able to bond with her child like this. "How're you feeling, love?"

"I'm quite all right, dear," I sit up to make room for her. "More importantly, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." I hand her a pillow to put her feet up. "I just wish the baby would come already. I'm so ready to meet the little one."

"As am I, love." I wrap my arms around her belly just in time to feel the baby kick. He's an active one; I just wish he would be active on the outside and not the inside at this point. "Are you tired?"

"No, no. I just wanted to spend some time with you. Is that all right?"

"Yes, of course. You know there's no place I'd rather be than with you." She smiles at that. We stay like this for a while, just being together. We talk about Alex and the new baby, but what I really want to talk about is her. I have to approach the subject cautiously, though. She's so modest; she hates talking about herself. All I want is to tell her how much I love her and not to worry about me when I'm gone; Mahado and Shadi will protect her. I manage to sit up again. "Nefertiri?"

She barely stirs. "Yes, Atem?"

"I just want to tell you that I love you."

"I know, honey, and I love you, too."

I decide not to beat around the bush any longer. She hates that, too. "Nefertiri, when I'm gone," she tries to shush me, but I stop her. "When I'm gone, I want you to know that I truly do love you with everything I have, but that if you do find another man, and he really makes you happy, then I give you my blessings to be with him."

Her mouth opens wide, and her eyes express her true feelings. "WHAT?" I see shock, obviously, and almost relief. "Atem, I… I love you, too, with all that I am. You have to know that, but… another man? I couldn't do that to you. It's like cheating, only worse. You would be in the afterlife, so you can't do much to stop me. I can't, I just can't, Atem."

I can't help but smile down at her. She's so faithful, through and through. It's one of the many reasons I love her. "It's not cheating, love. As long as I have come to grips with it, which I have, it's fine. Honestly."

She looks down. "All right, Atem. If you say so. If you want me to be with someone else when you're gone, I will."

I shake my head. "No, I'm not saying I **want** you to be with someone else. I'm just saying that I don't want you to spend the rest of your life loving a memory of me. A memory can't comfort you; a memory can't wipe your tears; a memory can't keep you warm at night. I just want you to be happy, and if finding another man does that for you, so be it. I won't hold you back."

"You're wrong, Atem." I blink. "You're dead wrong. You say a memory can't keep me warm at night, that's a lie. When you're off fighting to keep me safe, the memories are all I have, and I haven't frozen once. You say a memory can't comfort me; that's untrue. Every time I think of you and the memories we've made together, that's when I'm at peace; that's when I have solace. You say a memory can't wipe my tears… you couldn't be more wrong. Every night I go to bed crying, and I dream of you and our time together. When I wake up, I have no desire to cry, no need for tears."

"Wow, I never knew—"

"That's right. You never knew. What kind of wife would I be to worry you with such trivial things… but more importantly I'll never find another man to love me like you have."

"Nefertiri, I'm touched and honored that you feel that way, but someone will come along for you. He might be a total stranger, or someone you've known for years. Like Mahado for instance, or maybe even Shadi." She looks up at me before I can even blink. Her eyes brighten, and I can tell she's blushing. I smile to myself. I knew their feelings weren't unreciprocated. "So all I'm saying is to keep your heart open to the possibilities, all right? I just want you to stay happy when I'm gone. If you don't find someone, that's okay, too. I'll always be waiting for you."

She sighs heavily. "I know, love. And I'll try to wait patiently for the gods to call me, so I can see you again."

I smile to her, but she still looks visibly shaken and upset. I pull her to me and begin to kiss her softly. She kisses me back timidly at first, and then increases her passion. I love the taste of her kiss.

She pulls away and looks into my eyes. "Atem, I know that you want me to be happy, but I want you to know that no matter who I find, or if I even find anyone at all, that I will never be as happy as I am when I'm with you. You make me appreciate my life and the fact that I was lucky enough to have survived my years as a servant. I know that I've lost the only person in my life who reminds me that some good can come of the worst situations, but… Sometimes I thought that having my son wasn't enough… that I had someone to love and protect, to care for, but I didn't have anyone to do that for me. You understand?" I nod. "Then you came along, and I began to hope that someone could… and would do those things for me, and now…" she chokes. I shush her and pull her close to me. I kiss her softly and feel her melt in my embrace.

"Shh… Nefertiri. I know, I know. Before I found you, my life meant nothing. I had no real happiness, and then you showed up in my chambers that day, almost like magic. You taught me how to love, how to really love, and to live in the moment. You taught me how to appreciate my life and the people in it. I will always love you for that, Nefertiri."

She smiles up at me. "Thank you, Atem. That means the world to me." I hold her in my arms for the rest of the day.

* * *

I awaken in the middle of the night from a horrible dream. I was forced to watch as Darrius took my wife from me. I heard her screams but was powerless to help her. I watched in horror as he did the most awful things to her. He raped her again and again, and as she screamed and begged me to help her, I struggled to even move.

But much to my relief, she is still safe and sound in my arms. I hold her closer to me, and she stirs a little. "Atem?" Her eyes are still closed.

I smile slightly. "Yes, love."

"Is everything okay?" She opens her eyes and allows me to look into them. They are the purest, most beautiful deep blue I've ever seen. I love it when she's mad; they turn a nice, deep purple. I smile to myself. I shush her and rock her back to sleep.

As I think about my dream, I can't help but think about losing Nefertiri. I would absolutely die without her, even if I don't have much longer to live. She's my life, my reason for living. I would die a much faster, more painful death without her. I need her more than anything. But I honestly don't think she will survive very well without me, either. I know I'm underestimating her, but I also know that I mean the world to her. To put it simply, we're soul mates. We were made for each other. Just the thought of losing her sends me to the depths of despair.

Nefertiri finally awakens some time after dawn. She looks up at me, and I smile down at her. Her eyes brighten. "Nefertiri?"

She adjusts her position to make herself more comfortable. "Yes, love?"

"If… if Darrius does take you…"

Her steely resolve becomes all too apparent. "Don't say that. Don't even think it. I won't let him take me. I won't let anything tear us apart. We'll always be together, love."

"Listen," if she weren't so pregnant I'd probably shake her, "it's a very real possibility that Darrius could take you. If he does, I don't know what I'd do without you."

She smiles up at me. "And you're **my **everything. I need you, Atem. I would rather kill myself than be with Darrius." I tighten my grip, and we lay like this for a few minutes. Nefertiri waddles off to go rally the soldiers while I rest for a time.

Once she's back, we sit together and discuss the state of the empire. She tells me that everything is going well. The women are doing well under her rule. They identify with her and understand her. I knew she would be good to rule. She has a good heart, and she's very wise. We just sit together, enjoying each other's company.

No matter what I do, that dream always haunts me. I can't shake the thought that something awful is about to happen. I can't stop thinking that I'm going to lose her. Maybe this is an omen. Maybe I will lose her. I can't stand the thought.

I think about Darrius and how much he wants Nefertiri for his own. He wants her just as badly as I do. I know he's going to stop at nothing to have her. But even in my current condition, I will stop at nothing to keep her with me. She's simply perfection. I need her.

I know how ruthless Darrius can be in chasing after what he wants. My injuries prove it. I know he would easily kill me if it means having her to himself. I honestly don't blame him, though. I would kill to keep her with me, too. And even still, he may be relentless, but Darrius really is a good man. He is good for his country and his people. He's a strong ruler and he knows what he's doing.

But he wants my wife, and I'm not about to let that happen. I'll gladly fight to the death for her. And as I hold her in my arms now, I think about our time together. The five happiest, most amazing years of my life have been with her. She's brought me the happiness my life was missing. She gave me my daughter, and very soon she will give me another child.

Without her, my life is nothing—absolutely nothing. She's flawless. She's beautiful, kind, smart, funny, trustworthy, loving, and caring. She's everything I could ever want in a woman, everything I could want in my wife. I can't help but understand why he wants her, but she is mine, and I will fight for her. It would be different if she wanted to be his, but Nefertiri has made her choice, and she's staying with me.

As I lay here with her, I think about everything she has been through. Being repeatedly raped and tortured at such a young age. Having to have their child, and then losing him to a war fought for her? It must be too much. I don't know how she does it. She's such a strong and valiant woman. I really admire her and her courage. I often ask myself what it is about her that makes her so strong. It could be her faith, or her wisdom. I wouldn't doubt it. It could be her love for me and Alex, but whatever it is, it has made her into an amazing woman worth fighting for.

* * *

And that's that. Whew! That chapter was hard to write, too! I'm so sorry about the delay. I promise I'll have the next chapter out sooner, and I can assure you it's one you won't want to miss!

As always, please leave a review!

Until next time,

Dead Reckoning.


	23. The Final Goodbye

At last, the long awaited chapter. Things start to align more closely with the original here, but I do have some things to change up as well!

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Chapter 22:

The Final Goodbye

Atem's condition gets slowly and progressively worse. He's barely hanging by a thread at this point. He's fighting so hard, though. I know he can pull through. He's too strong not to. In just the few days that I've been here, I never leave his side. I barely eat. I don't sleep. I just watch him. I feel the baby sucking the life out of me as my body tries desperately to keep him safe. I've lost weight, and you can all but see the fatigue on my face. But it doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters is Atem.

Sometimes the pain will subside long enough for him to talk. We usually only talk about Alex and the new baby, and sometimes the state of Egypt. Sometimes we talk about us. That's what I like the best. When we talk about us.

No matter how hard things get, Atem always remains strong. He ever waivers. He says we'll make it through this together, and I know we will. I just have to keep strong and keep praying to the Gods to spare him. I need him so much. He doesn't have my heart; he **is** my heart. I would die without him. He gathers the strength to speak for the first time today. "Nefertiri?"

I gently stroke his face with my hand. "Yes, love. What is it?" I give him my full attention.

He coughs up blood, and I wipe his chin with my hand. "I feel myself going, love." He sits up just as a coughing fit attacks him. He can't hold back the blood, and soon my dress is covered in it. I start to cry as I hold him close to me. I try to shush him, but I know it's a lost cause. "Promise me that when I'm gone, you'll stay strong. Promise me you won't give up, Nefertiri."

I rest his head on my lap. "No, don't say that Atem. You're not going. You'll make it through this. Just stay strong, love."

"I'm only sorry that I have to leave you, and that I can't see our new baby."

"Atem, please!" My tears land on his face.

"I'm trying, Nefertiri, for you, but it's becoming too much. Just promise me you'll stay strong. Promise me you'll rule Egypt with honor, love. I want you—and **only** you—to rule Egypt, love. Please…"

I stroke his face again. "I will, love. I promise I will. But please don't give up, love. Please just stay strong. I need you."

He looks up at me. "And I need you, love. But I honestly don't know that I can fight much longer. I'm growing weak, love."

I start to cry even harder. "Don't **say** that, Atem. You can fight this. You **will** overcome." I lean in and kiss him softly.

"Nefertiri… I can't… just know that I love you with everything I have…" He closes his eyes.

I cry even harder and start to scream. "Atem, Atem wake up! You have to wake up, love!" I shake him to no avail. My voice is barely above a whisper. "Wake up… please…" I shake him harder. "PLEASE!" He doesn't wake up.

Shadi, who was standing at the door the whole time, listening to our exchange, finally makes his presence known and comes to check him. He puts a hand to Atem's neck to check his pulse. "My Queen…" he chokes, "he's gone, Majesty."

I scream as hard and as loud as I can. "**NO!** HE CAN'T BE! HE **CAN'T** BE!" Shadi wraps his arms around my waist, and I scream even louder, which draws a crowd to the open tent flap. The soldiers lower their heads to shield their tears once they realize what's happened. My cries mix with his blood and my tears until I'm an absolute mess. "Why…" He hugs me tighter.

"Come, my lady. You shouldn't be here." He tries to take me to another infirmary tent, but I won't move. He and Mahado, who has just arrived, have to literally force me away from Atem. Even still, I don't notice the excess of blood on me. I close my eyes as they carry me, still crying, to another tent. Everyone leaves upon my arrival. Mahado and Shadi lay me down on a soft pallet as I continue to cry. "I think…" Shadi's words become a mysterious jumble as I feel blood trickling between my legs. It's only now that I realize the pain I'm feeling isn't just from losing Atem. "Did you hear me? I said you should rest, Majesty. The baby—"

"Is coming! The baby is coming," I lie back against the pain in my stomach. I rub my bloody cloth in a miserable attempt to soothe the baby.

"My Queen—I—are you sure?" Shadi stammers as he gathers supplies just in case.

"Look for yourself!" I scream as the pain intensifies. I look up at the tent canvas. "I'm sorry, Shadi. I didn't mean to say that. It's just—" Another contraction as the labor actually starts. "Oh, I think you should get over here!" I groan as I feel him pushing down on me. Mahado brings a cool cloth to wipe my forehead and places another around my neck.

"I know it's a tall order, Majesty, but just try to relax, please. You can do this." He moves in between my legs and pushes my blood-stained cloth up over my stomach. I try to follow his instructions and stay my breathing as I rub my stomach. I can feel the baby moving all around as he tries to come out. I focus all my energy and call to Hathor to calm my baby. It's as if she was waiting for me to invoke her name. He immediately calms down and stops moving everywhere.

Even with the goddesses smiling on me, the labor is daunting. It takes hours and hours, until I lose track of time altogether. I give up counting and just concentrate on matching my body's own movements. My meditation brings me to a state of peace, and it's almost as if I can feel Atem with me. I smile softly and find the strength to continue pushing.

It's not long afterward that I finally feel relief. Shadi takes the baby to clean him up. Mahado congratulates me and wipes the sweat from my brow as I sit up to meet the little one. In no time Shadi brings me a tiny bundle wrapped in fresh linens. "Say hello to your new son, Majesty."

I smile softly. "Hello, Yujin. Hi little one." I'm surprised at myself. I never thought of names. This just came to me. I look down at my son. He looks just like Atem, even down to his eyes. I smile to myself. He's so beautiful. I already can't imagine my life with him.

Shadi checks my pulse and other vitals. "How are you feeling, Majesty?"

"I'm quite all right, Shadi." Little Yujin whimpers in my arms, and I start to feed him. Once he's calm, I move to get off the pallet.

"Where are you going, my lady? I'm not sure you should be up and about."

"I'm going to see Atem. Please, Shadi. I have to." He moves to let me pass, but follows at a safe distance. Many soldiers bow before me, still covered in blood, and express their condolences. Once they notice my son in my arms, their sorrow turns to congratulations. I smile softly and continue to Atem's tent. I enter to a throng of soldiers saying their goodbyes. They start to file out upon seeing me. "Oh, no. As you were, please." They refuse. They file out one by one, some expressing sympathies, others playing with the baby. As they walk past I clear my head for the task at hand.

I make my way over to his pallet and smile softly. He looks so peaceful, as if he's only sleeping. Sadly I know the truth. I sit down next to him and put my hand to his cold face before kissing his forehead softly. "Atem, there's someone I'd like you to meet." I know Shadi probably thinks me foolish as he watches from a slight distance, but I know my husband is here with me. I sit the baby on my lap so he can better see. "This is our son, Yujin." It's almost as if he knows he's meeting his father. He opens his deep, deep violet eyes and graces us with a smile. I spend a few more minutes here before I feel the fatigue catching up with me.

I get up and nod to Shadi to let him know I'm ready to go. He closes the distance between us as I leave the tent. I start to feel light-headed and hand the baby to Shadi in case I should faint. It's only a few more steps before I'm glad I did. Everything goes black, and I feel Shadi try to catch me as my body hits the sand. The last thing I remember before completely losing consciousness is the sound of footsteps coming towards us.

* * *

I dream of being on a majestic mountaintop as I watch my spirit beast, the Darkness Phoenix, fly overhead. I watch her traverse a distant countryside and all but circumvent the world. I smile as she approaches me and lands on the outcropping just past my feet. She spreads her wings and wraps them around me protectively. As her companion, the fiery darkness of her wings doesn't affect me at all. She puts her forehead to mine, and I hear her mind's voice in my head. '_Nefertiri, you are a strong one. You have been through so much, but there is still so much to come. You will be tested in ways you never thought possible, but I know you will get through this. The gods and I have given you everything you need. You have a good heart, and you're so very wise… I know you're still reeling from the loss of your husband, but you must know that you will be reunited in the next life and the life after that one. And he'll always be with you in your thoughts and prayers. His very spirit rests in your heart, and in your memories, too. So let him rest. Most importantly, remember that I am always here for you. This is the beginning of your journey, young one. Just know that I am here for you in this life, the next, and the next. So don't be afraid to come to me.' _I smile to her through my tears, and for a moment I think I see tears in her dark red eyes as well. I nod to her, and she tells me to look to the skies before flying away.

* * *

I wake up back in my private tent and look down at all the dried blood on my cloth. Shadi brings me a hungry baby. I immediately take him and begin to feed him. "Shh, easy little one." I rock him steadily until he falls asleep. "Shadi, how long was I asleep?"

He says softly. "A few hours. We thought it best not to disturb you."

I wait until the baby stops eating to set him down in my lap. "Thank you. That was very sweet of you." I rub my face and look around. "Um… do you think it's possible that I could… well… bathe?"

He blushes heavily. "Yes—yes of course, M-Majesty. I-I'll get r-r-right t-to that…" He swallows before leaving. I can't even begin to imagine what he's thinking to make him react like that. I sigh softly and before getting up to dig through my supply bag for another cloth. Once I find one, I sit down on the bed and think about what's just happened. My husband is dead. My soul mate is gone. And I can't even grieve. I have a new baby, a four-year-old child, a war to win, and a country to rule. My feelings are beyond the last thing on my mind right now. Mentally I'm already on the task of trying to win this war without anymore Egyptians dying. I try to relax, but it's like the second I find peace, another thought snaps me back to reality.

I don't know how much time has passed, but I'm surprised when I hear Shadi and Mahado enter with a rather large basin of steaming water. I smile softly and start to remove my cloth. Mahado has already left, but Shadi lingers just to see if I need anything. My cloth falls from my shoulders, and I see that same heavy blush return. I smile softly. "Um…"

His blush deepens—I thought it impossible—and he stutters as he tries to reply. "Um um um… I'll leave you to your um… uh… washing, your Majesty?"

I flash him a soft smile. "Thank you, Shadi, for everything." He finds a measure of comfort in this, and manages a smile of his own before leaving and closing and tying the tent flap behind him. I feel like I can finally relax as I let the cloth slide off my body. I look down at my naked form and the blood that covers my skin. My blood. My husband's blood. I almost don't want to wash it off me. I look at the water and know that getting clean is the start of moving on. I submerge in the deep basin. I smile softly as I realize it's scented with jasmine, lavender, and vanilla. Shadi and Mahado spared no expense. I let the smells comfort me, and watch as the blood mixes with the water before disappearing. I find my cleanser that I sat out and began to wash.

I manage to find a measure of peace in the water as I wash away the dirt and blood. I pretend I'm washing away this war and all its horrible memories. I know it's foolish to be playing make-believe at my age, but at this point it's almost all I have. I let my head sink into the water and feel my long hair floating around me. As I look up at the tent canvas through the water, it's almost as if I'm in a different place entirely. I imagine the canvas is the night sky filled with stars, and that Atem is here with me. I rise to catch my breath and snap out of my little fantasy.

I pull myself away from the water to oil my skin. I let the vanilla sugar scent soothe my soul as the rich oil moisturizes my skin. I pull on a light dress that only goes to my knees, with extra cloth around my chest. I take my blood-soaked cloth and place it in my supply sack. I can't bear to clean it or burn it or do anything to it. I finish cleaning up and go back to my make-shift bed. I manage to climb in and around a sleeping Yujin. I hold my baby close to me as I finally start to cry over Atem's passing. I get all my tears out now, with my baby in my arms. My one regret in all of this is that Atem wasn't there to see his son born. I know that's all he wanted. It's all I can do to pray to the gods that his soul is finally at peace.

I smile down at my son as I think about all the possibilities for him. Now he is next in line to take the throne of Egypt, with Alex ruling as regent in his stead. Who knows? He may even abdicate the throne to her. I smirk. That'd be the day. Then again no one knows what the future holds, for that is the one thing that is always changing.

I lay Yujin on my chest so he can be on a soft, warm surface. Immediately my mind goes to the war. Tomorrow is an important battle. If we win here, we can push the Hittites back into their capital city, Hattusa, and settle in for a siege. If my sources are correct, it shouldn't last long. All the Hittite funds have been going to the war, and their people are already starving. I'm sure that if they come back in defeat, the war will be over peacefully, and soon at that. It's all I can hope for at this point. I just pray that once we win the war, the Hittites will assimilate peacefully with the Egyptians. I can't stand a civil war on top of all this. I think it will happen, though. Our culture is already so much alike, and I won't make them change to suit Egyptian standards. I just want this all to end.

I find a small measure of comfort in knowing that once this war is over, I won't have anything to worry about for a long time. But my spirit beast's words still play in my head. _There is still so much to come. You will be tested in ways you never thought possible. _I just hope that whatever it is, I can get through it and keep my family safe in the process. But I know that there are good people around me who will protect me. And more importantly, I know that I can protect myself. I know that no matter what happens, I have the Phoenix on my side, and the gods as well. I just hope that's enough.

* * *

I am really surprised at how quickly I was able to write this, much less get it out so soon! The original took much longer. Luckily for me, too, I already have the next chapter written since I'm not changing much there.

Please leave a review!

Dead Reckoning


	24. Captured and Released

I decided to combine two chapters into this one as well. I hope it works!

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Chapter 23:

Captured and Released

I wake up with little Yujin in my arms. I snuggle up with him and let him take in my body heat. I suddenly remember that I'm going to battle today. I'd already made up my mind yesterday that I'm going to battle with the men, and nothing—absolutely nothing—is going to stop me. I have to fight for my husband's memory. I get up to go and eat with the men. We enjoy a feast of war rations. We need our sustenance for the strength to fight. I actually eat; in fact, I eat a lot. It's only now I realize how much the birth took out of me yesterday. I release the men to gather their supplies or write letters to their wives. I go to spend a little more time with my Yujin.

I look in his big violet eyes and see so much of his father in him. Even now, I can tell that Atem doesn't want me to fight, and even in the afterlife he's pleading with the gods to stop me, but I won't relent. I have to go to war to protect my country. Egypt will not become Darrius' sandbox. Not while I'm alive. And besides, Atem went to battle for me, and now I go to battle to protect his honor. It is the very least I can do for all he's done for me.

Shadi comes to take the baby for the day. I sat up most of the night expressing milk so that he wouldn't go hungry while I'm off fighting. I know it won't entirely assuage my panic at leaving him, but at least it'll help me worry a little less. I give Shadi a soft smile as he approaches me. "How are you feeling, Majesty? It's good to see you up and about."

I rise, still in my thin nightgown, and hand him the baby. I laugh softly when I see him blush as he looks me over. "I'm feeling quite well, Shadi." I put a hand to his shoulder. "I've had a chance to rest, and eat, and I'm more than ready for the task at hand."

"I'm sure you are, Lady, but please, be careful. I don't know what I'd do if I lose—I mean, um." He tries to recover. "Egypt would be devastated if anything were to happen to you." Even if he tried to hide what he felt, I'm really touched by his show of emotion.

I smile at him. "I'll be fine." I lay a soft kiss on his cheek before leaving. I meet up with the rest of the soldiers. The resident stableman brings me my horse. "Hello, old friend," I greet her before mounting. I take my swords as someone hands them to me. I choose not to wear any armor, seeing as it all fitted for men and will not conform to my body. It'd do more harm than good.

Mahado comes to meet me. We haven't spoken much since he arrived, but I have forgiven him. I hear him cast a quick protection spell on me. I lean in and kiss him when no one is looking. He tells me to be careful, and I promise him I will.

I ride out ahead of the men to the battle site. We wait here for a while until Darrius and the Hittites appear. He is shocked when he sees me, but then his face softens as he takes me in. My face becomes an icy glare. I look to the men and raise one of my swords. "Remember why we fight!"

They raise their weapons and utter all types of war cries, but the one I hear above all the others is, "For our queen!"

I feel that they are ready to fight. "ATTACK!" I scream, and we ride forth. The Hittites ride to us as well. The battle starts, and the bloodshed is immediate. I try not to kill anyone. I can't have any blood on my hands. So far, so good. No one is killed by my swords. Everything is so bloody. I'm covered in blood that's not my own. Suddenly, a sword comes at me. I lean back so far my back is touching Khepri's, and rise to see four swords impaling the man who tried to kill me.

"Anything to protect our queen," one says.

Everything is going fine. Egypt isn't losing very many men at all. I feel someone's arm wrap around my waist. I gasp and look back to see Darrius with the most devilish smirk on his face. "Well, well, well… It looks like I've finally got my queen."

I start to scream at the top of my lungs, and the men all turn and ready their weapons. "LET ME **GO**!" I kick and scream and struggle to no avail. The more I struggle, the more he tightens his grip. He pulls me onto his horse and takes me to the Hittite stronghold, which is now within the city of Hattusa.

Someone comes and looks to Darrius. "My liege, I bring you food for the queen."

"Thank you." He takes it and hands it to me. "Eat up, my sweet."

I spit on it. "I'd rather be eaten alive."

"So feisty are we? I'll have to fix that." He climbs on top of me.

"Fix this." I say before kneeing him in the crouch.

"Why you little…" he gets up and goes for his sword. I see the perfect opportunity and rise to try and make my escape. He's too fast, however, and catches me at the door. Still I press forward, and with one swing his sword cuts deep into my neck and across my chest. I am given a little luck, however, when I see General Ammon enter: the perfect distraction. I grab my swords and before Darrius can look twice, I've gutted him. He looks down and doesn't notice my other sword moving for his head. It drops to the floor, and his dead body isn't too far behind. I smile after spitting on him. Now he can't be given a proper burial.

"May the gods show no mercy on you." We leave, and I assure Ammon that I'm fine to walk. My injuries prove me wrong, however, and I collapse in the rich Hattusa soil. I wake up back in the Egyptian campground. I groan and put my hand to my stomach as I sit up. Memories come flooding back, but what I feel the most is the fear that came over me as Darrius tried to rape me. I shake my head and finally realize that Shadi has been sitting next to me this whole time. "Oh, Shadi, I—is everything all right? Yujin—"

"Is fine. He's a good baby. Mahado has him… I came to dress your wounds, Majesty."

"It's not that bad, really. Just a little cut." I lower my dress—I went to battle in a dress! I smile at that—from off my chest and asses the wound myself. Looking at it, I realize it's much more than a little cut. Darrius' sword sliced me wide open from high on my neck, almost at my ear, down my collar and on to my breast. He cut so deep that I can see my ribs and even my heart beating. I swallow and look at Shadi who has since frozen stiff. "I'm okay, really…" I take the cleanser from him and start to wash my wound. It stings as it hisses and bubbles, but at least I know it's working. By this time Shadi has his wits about him again and has since gathered a salve. He moves into apply it, and I nod to let him know he can. He rubs my neck and collar, but stops before reaching my breasts. I look up at him. "Shadi…" He swallows and a heavy blush starts before he even touches me. I always did think he was cute when he blushed. I guide his hand to my skin and work with him to apply the salve. I can tell his mind is trying to be anywhere but here. I put my hand to his face softly. "It's okay." I kiss his cheek. His eyes close and I can tell he's not trying to faint. I relax my body to try to get him to loosen up, and I think it's working.

* * *

After a restful night's sleep, I know we're all ready to go home. I wake with Yujin in my arms to Shadi staring right at me, his golden eyes boring deep into my thoughts. "Shadi… how long have you been up?"

"Only a few hours." I can tell that it's barely past dawn. He gets up from his pallet—he slept here last night to attend to me—and reaches for the salve. I quickly feed Yujin as he gathers the rest of his supplies. I rock Yujin back to sleep and ask Shadi to join me on my pallet. He does, but he still looks a little shaken.

"Listen, if you're uncomfortable doing this—"

"No, Majesty. I'm your healer; it's my duty to treat you. That's all I'll hear on the matter." I'm taken aback by the finality in his voice, but smile nonetheless. He starts to rub the salve, and I can feel his hands relax on my skin. We make small talk, and I can feel him melting into comfort.

Once my wound is properly wrapped—I look almost like a mummy up top—I'm ready to go. I strap Yujin to my chest and mount my horse. We ride quickly and swiftly, never stopping to rest, and we reach Egypt in one day. At home I quickly release the soldiers to their wives and children and have a small lunch alone. When finished I go to thank Ammon for saving my life. Surely I wouldn't be here if it weren't for his bravery.

I search the palace over and find him in the Field of War Games. "Ammon, can I talk to you for a second, please?"

He turns and bows deeply. "Yes of course, Your Grace."

I smile. "I just want to thank you for being so brave. I'm sure I wouldn't be here right now were it not for your courage in the face of adversity."

He smiles back to me. "I assure you, Queen Nefertiri, it was nothing. I'd gladly die to protect you and your honor."

My smile grows. "You can never know how much I appreciate your dedication. That's why I'm naming you to the position of Brigadier General."

His face brightens. "I—you'd really do that for me? I'm honored. I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, Ammon. Again, I thank you so much for everything you've done for me, and my husband, too."

He nods solemnly. "I'm most sorry for your loss, my lady."

"It's quite all right. He's in a better place now." I hug him and let go to see him blushing heavily. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go—" I stop myself as I am feeling dizzy and weak. I faint dead away. I wake up to Shadi hovering over me and Alex sitting on the bed, crying. "Oh, no, baby, Mommy's okay." I sit up against a throbbing pain in my lower abdomen and hug her. She rests her head on my shoulder. "What happened?"

"Well, you fainted, obviously," Shadi starts. "But more than that. I did a full check, and well…" he looks away.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"About that… You see, when you had the baby… Not everything passed. There is still a lot of birth tissue left, inside. And it's pretty evident that tissue is infected."

"Okay, and…"

"…And we'll have to cut it out. Otherwise, the infection could spread and kill you. I've already alerted the doctors. We can start whenever you're ready." I nod. I go through the rest of the day as if nothing is wrong. As soon as Alex and Yujin are asleep, I inform Shadi that I'm ready for the procedure. "You're sure?" he asks. I tell him I'm ready.

He carries me to a room in palace temple of Isis and places me on a high alter. He hands me a potion to numb the pain, and as I soon find, put me to sleep. Even still I can feel their wires and knives tunneling in from between my legs, starting to cut away the tissue, liquefying it, expelling it. I can feel the blood and tissue trickling out of me. I feel the scratchy linens wiping it away. I smell the bloody liquid burning and feel start to feel pain as the concoction wears off. I feel the knife cutting, scratching, tearing. More tissue coming out; more liquid being burned.

I wake up back in my own rooms, still enshrouded in the darkness of the night. "The procedure went well," Shadi starts. I decide not to tell him that his drink wore off. "But you're going to be weak, and even walking will take a toll on you that you never thought possible. So it's best that you not do anything too strenuous." So I'm forced to be bedridden for three weeks. I see to all the duties in my rooms. I meet with the courtiers, settle petitions, and allocate funds, everything. In my nightgown. If anyone has a problem with it, they don't say anything. Not that I would change my ways for them.

It's not all bad, though. I have a lot of visitors. People come to pay their respects, to give me gifts, to see the baby. And while I'd like some alone time every now and again, I know my duties, and it does take away from the loneliness somewhat. But by day four, I'm ready to get back to my regular life, but I'll get no such respite. I can't even check on the priests of Osiris and see how Atem's burial plans are going. I'm about to go out of my ever-loving mind.

Even still, Shadi is so great. He brings me my meals, helps make it possible to wash. He even talks to me and brings me sweets. He has truly become my best friend. I don't know that I'd have made it through all this without him. I just hope that he will continue to be so supportive in the future. Once Atem is buried, he'll really be gone, and I'll need Shadi more than ever…

* * *

Wow, I'm surprised at myself.

Please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning


	25. Sepulture

Well, here goes everything...

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Chapter 24:

Sepulture

Atem is gone. I can't believe it. My husband, the love of my life, is dead. I feel as though my beating heart has been ripped out of my chest. I can't eat; I can't sleep. All I can do is cry.

Today is the day Atem is to be buried. I don't know that I can do this. I just can't bury my husband. I stand on the balcony and cry to myself. Shadi knocks timidly before entering alone. I don't know why I was expecting, hoping rather, for Mahado to be with him. He's pretty much shut me out since Atem's death. It's like Shadi is my only friend in all this. "Your Majesty…"

I turn and face him. "Yes, Shadi?"

I'm more than a little surprised when he wraps his arms around my waist. I can't help but smile slightly. He tightens his grip as I rest my head on his shoulder. "I'm really sorry about your husband's passing, my Lady. I know how much you love him." I nod to him, glad he said 'love' and not 'loved.' I let his body heat comfort me as he rubs my back. He's being so forward. This is so unlike him.

"Shadi, I…"

He pulls my chin up so I can look into his eyes. "Yes, Majesty?"

"I…" I can't find the words. Something about his golden yellow eyes traps me in speechlessness. I blink before regaining my wits. "Call me Nefertiri, please…"

"Are you sure, Majesty?"

"Yes, yes. You're my friend. Nefertiri, please." He nods his agreement and lets me go. I turn away when the tears spring to my eyes. "Shadi…"

"Yes, M—Nefertiri?"

"I can't do this… I… I can't bury Atem. It's too hard."

He turns me around and wipes my eyes. "I know it's hard, but you have to do this. His soul won't be able to cross over if you don't. I know it hurts, but it's something you must do."

"I know," I manage as more tears come. "It… it just hurts so much."

"Shh… easy now. It's okay." I rest my head on his shoulder again. "Listen, M—Nefertiri. I know that you'll never be able to love anyone the way you loved Pharaoh Atem…"

I pull away and look up at him. "Yes…" Is he really about to say what I think he's going to say?

"But I just want you to know that I…" He looks into my eyes, as if he's trying to find the right words.

Solomon enters. I let my head fall into my hands. "Your Highness, it's time." I nod and swallow before turning to get ready. Shadi leaves me to my materials. I find the strength to make it to the river to travel to the make-shift summoning area at the mouth of the Valley of the Kings. All of Egypt has gathered here today, as well as emissaries and heads of state from all over the world. I take a deep breath as I head for my seat.

I start to cry as Mahado performs the burial ritual and the last rites. None of this is really necessary, all of the required duties have been performed, but since it is a king's funeral, no expense has been spared. I want to leave so badly. I only stay because it is my responsibility and my right as his wife. It takes absolutely everything I have to maintain my composure. The task is daunting, but I do manage. I just can't look at the people's faces, however. I can't stand to see the hurt and sorrow in their eyes. It'd hurt me to my heart. Instead, I keep my gaze on Shadi, who is out in the midst of the crowd. He doesn't seem to mind as he smiles softly.

It is my turn to speak. I slowly rise. My hands shake. My body breaks out in a cold sweat. My vision blurs. I feel dizzy and weak, but I have to do this. I take a deep breath. I look at Shadi to see him smile and nod to me. I smile softly and begin. "Citizens of Greater Egypt, honored heads of state and ambassadors, esteemed guests, we are gathered here today, to… to bury Pharaoh Atem. Atem was truly an amazing person. He lived his life with dedication and purpose. He gave Egypt everything he had. He truly loved his country and his people." I swallow as tears flood my eyes. "Not only did my husband give you his all," I choke. My voice cracks with every syllable now. I look over to my right to see Alex holding little Yujin, and with so much of their father in them, I find the strength to go on. "Atem gave me his all as well." Tears slip down my cheeks. "Atem and I loved each other so much. He's my everything, and I would give anything just to be with him again, if only for a moment." I wipe the tears from my face. "Atem often told me he was dying for me, so that made it worthwhile. And while that cannot fill the hole in our hearts, I want you to know that not only did he die for me, he died for all of you as well." I swallow. "Thank you." I take my seat.

Solomon and Mahado perform the last of the burial ritual, and I am finally able to lay my husband's body—his mummy—to rest. I was going to feast with the well-wishers just upstream from here, but it's all I can do to break bread with them. Alex runs over to me, and I take Yujin from her. "Thank you, sweetie. You were such a brave girl. Your father is so proud of you." I lean down to kiss her forehead, and she hugs my leg. We make our way back to the ferry and take our seats.

A shadow comes over me, and I look up to see Mahado standing here. "Nefertiri?"

"Yes, Mahado?"

"You did a good job just now," he says before turning and leaving. What have I done to make him treat me this way? Isn't it enough that I have to grieve my husband's death, and now the loss of our friendship, too? I shake my head and resolve to keep my peace.

Somehow I'm able to make it to the feasting table. Shadi joins me at my right. I lower my dress to feed the baby and cover my chest with a loose cloth. I look out at the table. The cooks have prepared all this wonderful food, and I can't eat any of it. I just sit and stare as everyone else feasts and wishes me well. Shadi, who has been staring at me the whole time, takes this respite from the conversation to plead his case. "M—Nefertiri. I'm sorry, it's going to take some getting used to. But are you all right? You're not eating anything." All I can do is stare at him, tears flooding my eyes. His face softens. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I wait for everyone to finish eating and then release them. I ride back to Thebes and make my way to the throne room to attend my duties. Shadi tries to convince me to rest, but I vehemently refuse. He finally relents to joining me so he can keep an eye on me.

I sit here for a long time, just watching the baby on my lap. I sigh heavily. I only wish Atem were here. He would find something to say or do to make me laugh. I miss him so much. It's all I can do to control the urge to cry. I have to stay strong. For my people, and for myself. For Atem as well; I know he wouldn't want me to give up. He'd want me to keep fighting. For Alex, for Yujin, and for this kingdom. A guard snaps me out of my trance. I hear Shadi let loose a soft chuckle. "Your Majesty, a woman is here with some gifts for you. I've already checked them." They are taking no chances since I am the only one left in the Dynasty to rule. "It's—"

"Please, don't. Let her surprise me."

"As you wish, Lady."

He opens the door, and a heavy-set woman with tousled brown hair enters. She is rather pretty, but she keeps her eyes to the floor, almost refusing to look at me. I blink. I mean, I know I'm not the prettiest woman to look at, and it's only gotten worse since Atem died, but it can't be THAT bad, can it? I decide to address the matter. "Sweetheart, please. I know I'm not what most people would consider classically beautiful, but—"

She looks up, and I'm finally able to see her beautiful brown eyes. "You're beautiful, my Queen. But I was taught that commoners are not worthy to look at your most graceful form."

I try not to laugh. "Seriously? You're joking. There's no need to stand on ceremony with me. I was born a servant."

"My apologies."

"Don't worry about it. What brings you here today?"

She smiles slightly and approaches me. "My Queen, I bring you gifts upon the Pharaoh's passing. May I?"

I nod. "Of course."

She comes closer to the throne. "My husband, a goldsmith made you this." She holds up her hand to reveal a solid gold armband in the shape of a snake, with two gorgeous sapphires adorning its head for eyes.

I blink, and my jaw drops. This is the most beautiful piece of jewelry, other than my wedding rings of course, that I've ever seen! "This is so beautiful. I'm not worth—"

"Please, my Queen. Do take it. My husband made it just for you, and I made you this." She hands me a small pillow, the softest thing I have ever felt. It is beautiful, covered in pure silk, with stitches of a scene where the moon shines brightly over the sea.

I can't believe it. I can't believe this poor couple took the time and energy to make these for me. "I don't know what to say. I…" I swallow. "I'm touched."

She smiles gently. "Queen Nefertiri, if I may say so, I don't know how you do it." I blink. "I mean, if my husband were to…" she chokes, and I blink back my own tears. "If something were to happen to him, I don't know that I could go on **living**, let alone take care of a newborn, raise a small child, **and** rule an empire such as Egypt." Tears flood my eyes. "You are truly a strong woman."

I grab her and pull her into a tight embrace. I finally let go and cry on her shoulder. My whole body shakes from crying so hard. She can't know how much her words mean to me. She timidly returns the embrace. When she lets go, I tell her that I want her and her husband on staff—her to sew more precious linens and him to craft more amazing jewelry.

* * *

I manage to have a quiet dinner alone. Alex and Yujin are already asleep since it's so late. I almost don't know what to do with this time. I feel like I should be planning meetings or writing laws, issuing decrees. Something, anything to get my mind off this loneliness. I rise from the table and start to walk out of the palace. I'm a little surprised when Shadi emerges from one of the hallways. I thought he would be asleep by now. "Shadi, I… hi. Are you okay?"

"Yes of course. Why do you ask?"

"I just thought you'd be asleep is all."

"I don't sleep much. Where are you off to?"

"I'm just taking a walk. I thought some fresh air would be good."

He steps just a little closer. "Would you like some company?"

I give him the first genuine smile I've been able to manage all day. "I'd like that." He leads me out of the palace, further out to the river, and then out to the far banks. It's only here, once we're truly alone, that I feel comfortable. Not even a guard is within earshot. I take his hand in mine, and we walk along the riverside. It takes me a while, but I finally come up with the right words. "Shadi, I… I can't thank you enough for your friendship through all this. I don't know that I'd have survived any of it without you."

He steps in front of me and holds me close to him. "It means a lot to hear you say that, _Satiah._"

"_Satiah?_"

"It means 'beautiful one.' I couldn't think of a more fitting title." He pulls me closer still, and our bodies meet. I bite my lower lip as I feel my body melt against his. My breathing shallows when I take in his body heat. His touch is soft, tender, and comforting. I dare say I feel like I could spend forever in his arms. I breathe in his scent as my hands land on his chest. I look up in his eyes and can tell what's in his heart. He just has to say it. "There's something I meant to tell you earlier today. It's actually something that I've been trying to say for a while now."

"What is it, Shadi? Is everything okay?"

He nods down at me. "I feel like I was drawn to you the very first moment I saw you. There was—there is—just something about you that pulls me in. I try to quantify it, but there are no words. You're sweet, and funny, and wise, and courageous. You're honest, and faithful, and compassionate, and gentle. You're just so beautiful." He rests his forehead against mine for a moment before looking back down at me to continue. "I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I love you. I've been in love with you for years… I know it's not what you need to hear right now, but I can't stand for another second to go by without telling you. I just hope you can forgive me. I'll understand if you want a new healer—"

I put my finger to his lips, and before he can protest, I lean in to kiss him softly. His kiss is timid at first, but I can slowly feel his passion increasing. He brings me to him closer still as I wrap my arms around his neck. When our lips finally do part, I know I don't need to say a word. He can see it in my eyes. He takes my hand in his and leads me back to the palace. Our walk is quiet. The silence says everything our words cannot.

We reach my room, and I try to find the proper goodbye given what just happened. "I, um… I…"

"Sweet dreams, _Satiah. _Until tomorrow." He kisses my cheek softly before turning and walking away. I manage to make it into my room before sliding down my wall and to the floor. I can't believe it. The man actually has me weak in the knees. More than that, I'm shivering. He seriously has me shivering, from just one kiss!

I find the strength to get up and walk across the room before falling on my bed. I look up at the ceiling. "Is this for real?" I ask the carvings. I turn over to look out at the river. "I mean, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for him, too, but… I don't want to rush into anything. Then again I don't want to wait too long and give him the wrong impression, either. I just wish I knew what to do." I sigh heavily. "I wish Atem could give me a sign." It was almost like he was waiting for just that cue. I close my eyes, and I feel his presence here with me. It's like my mind is naturally drawn to Shadi again, our kiss still fresh on my lips. I feel a warmth in my heart that I know can only be Atem's blessing. I turn back over and smile up at the ceiling.

"… I love him." Oh, that feels so good to say. Even still, I have to be careful. Atem's memory is still fresh in all our hearts, and I can't move forward too quickly romantically. Now more than ever I need to stay in my kingdom's good graces. More than that, I know that the Council of Domestic Affairs, led by none other than that filthy snake Ahmenhotep, is actively looking for any reason to usurp me as sovereign, and I've no intention of leaving my throne.

And yet with all the negativity I'm feeling right now, tonight still lingers in my head. The comfort of my hand in his. The sensation of his body against mine. The feel of his arms around my waist. It's impossible to stay upset with Shadi on my mind like this. Naturally I start to think of the possibilities. With him as my companion, I feel like I could do almost anything. I feel like the world could bring a whole new peace to Egypt. But more than that, I feel like he could bring me the peace I've been so actively seeking since Atem's death. Just being near him brings me a comfort unmatched by any other.

I can feel my heart instinctively moving towards the thought of marriage. I could know him in ways that are just now possible. He could touch me in ways that only Atem knew how. He could be my friend, my advisor, my confidant, my lover, and we wouldn't have to feel any shame or worry about what anyone thought. We'd be free to live however we wanted. At this I start to fall asleep, with the prospects fresh on my mind, and Shadi haunting my dreams.

* * *

I feel like this chapter almost wrote itself! That's only happened a few times. But I did feel like this one was a bit rushed. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

Dead Reckoning.


	26. Boiling Point

Chapter 25:

Boiling Point

I close my eyes and concentrate my energy. "Darkness Phoenix, I summon thee. Come forth and serve your mistress!" I feel a great gust of wind sweep my hair all around me, and as I open my eyes, the Phoenix appears just outside my window and enters my room. I smile as she makes perch.

"You summoned, Nefertiri?"

I nod and pat her chest. "I am in need of your council, Phoenix." She nods, settling down to listen. I start to pace. "Where do I begin? I just feel so lost ever since Atem died. I don't have my best friend, my lover, my confidant. My husband is dead. I don't know what to do." I wipe my eyes before the tears fall. "And now it's harder than ever to rule. You would think it'd be easier than being second-in-command, right? Wrong. The Council of Domestic affairs is doing everything they can to get me to abdicate the throne. It's ridiculous. I know they have spies all over the court and are just sitting back waiting for me to mess up. I've never had to walk on eggshells like this before. It's like every little thing I say or do is being carefully scrutinized. I can't make a move without someone reporting it to those arrogant jerks. Any decision I make is criticized. Any decree I proclaim is questioned. I can't do anything anymore! I know they're upset at the prospect of having to answer to a woman, but look at Hatshepsut! She was one of the greatest rulers Egypt has ever seen! I'm not comparing myself to her, but still. A woman is just as capable of ruling as a man. Sometimes even more. A man thinks with his pride; a woman thinks with her head. I could care less about glory. I just want what's best for my country." I sigh heavily.

"Nefertiri, you know men are going to resist being led by a woman at all costs. Especially one who was born a servant. They feel as though they've been usurped. They're losing control of the people, and they know it. They'll do anything to retake the reins of power. You just need to continue to rule with the dignity and grace you've shown thus far. You have the people on your side. The Council will not risk a revolt, or worse yet, a civil war. You're doing a good job, and remember. This is what Atem wants. They can't challenge that."

"That's not even the half of it. I've been having these… dreams. I just hope they're dreams. I see so many awful things. I see Ahmenhotep coming into my room at night…" I start to cry, "And doing things to me. Just like he used to. And I don't have Atem to protect me anymore. But the thing that scares me the most." She wraps her wings around me in a comforting embrace. "I see Yujin dying. I see them killing my baby. I… I envision them murdering my son." My cries turn into hysterical sobs.

"Calm down, Nefertiri. The stress of solitary rule is getting to you. No one is going to hurt little Yujin. He is he heir to the throne, and—"

"That's all the motive anyone will need! If he dies, anyone could usurp the throne and end the Eighteenth Dynasty (1)! I have to protect my son at any cost."

"You needn't worry. I will look after the boy. No harm will come to him while I'm here, all right?" I nod slowly. I appreciate her trying, but I know that even with her protection, my son isn't entirely safe. "And while we're at it, what is this I'm sensing between you and Shadi?" she asks slyly.

I can feel a heavy blush tinting my cheeks. "Shadi and I are just friends right now—"

"Right now, anyway," she teases.

"But seriously." I start to pace again. "I find a measure of peace when I'm with Shadi. He's sweet, and caring, and kind, and comforting… he's just so strong and cunning; he's supportive and gentle. He's really been there for me with everything that's happening," I start to blush again. "And boy is he handsome. I'm just scared. I don't know if my feelings are really genuine, or if I'm just projecting my grief from Atem's dying. I just don't know."

"You're not projecting anything, Nefertiri. You forget that I know your heart, better than you do sometimes. You're feelings are the genuine article; you're just now getting to express them. I can understand why you might be a little apprehensive."

"I'm just so scared, what with everything going on with the Council, I don't want Shadi to get hurt. And I know I'm being selfish, but I honestly don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, not when I have such a wonderful man here to love me. You know my heart, so you know that I love him. I really do love him, and I—" I turn around to pace again when I notice Shadi at the door. "Oh my Ra! Shadi how long were you standing there?"

He gives me a sly smile. "Long enough." He looks to the Phoenix and bows his head. "Your spirit beast?"

I nod, all too aware of the heavy blush tinting my cheeks bright red. "The Darkness Phoenix." She nods to him before flying out the window and disappearing. "Shadi, how much did you hear, really?"

"I heard everything." He comes to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my forehead. "So you think I'm handsome, do you?"

I can feel the blush deepening. "You weren't supposed to hear any of that."

"It was for a good reason. I came to fetch you for your meetings with the Council of Domestic Affairs. Have they really been trying to usurp your throne?"

I nod to him as we leave my rooms. "They've been doing everything they can, but I'm not leaving. Atem wanted me to rule, and I intend to do just that."

"I'll talk to them and let them know that the Pharaoh's parting wish was for you to retain your throne."

"No, thank you. I don't want you fighting my battles. Don't take it personally."

"I understand." He escorts me into the throne room and takes his place beside his fellow Guardians.

"Ah, finally. It's good to see you, Your Majesty," Menes, a lower courtier, begins.

My face becomes an icy glare. "Don't proceed to lecture me about punctuality, Menes. The meeting doesn't start until I arrive anyway." My glare softens. "Let us begin."

"There are only two matters before the court today, Your Highness," Narmer, a Councilman, starts. I smile softly. Maybe this meeting won't be too bad after all. "The first is a manner of finance. It seems as though some funds have come up missing in the royal books."

"And have you found the reason for this?"

"No, the accountants are going through them again as we speak."

I raise an eyebrow. "Who found the error in the books?"

"I did," Mahado begins. "I was checking them to make sure everything was in order for today's meeting, and I brought it to the Council's attention just this morning."

"I don't know how this happened," Ahmenhotep inserts. "I personally selected the accountants and—"

"And did it ever occur to you gentlemen that your 'hand-selected' accountants are at fault here? I mean, really. Who checks behind them? I never would have been aware of the issue had Mahado not gone over the books to prepare for this gathering." I look to Mahado and nod my head in thanks. He gives me a soft grin.

"I assure you, there's—"

"I've heard enough. I want them all brought up on charges of fraud and high treason at once."

"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" Ahmenhotep protests.

"No I do not. They have been stealing money from the people of this country for Ra knows how long. People have gone into debt because of these lecherous men, and I will see them brought to justice."

It is Menes' turn to glare. "We should have known as much. Atem was a fool to marry such a stupid, cold-hearted bitch. May he suffer all his days in the afterlife as we suffer now."

I fly off the throne before anyone knows what's happening. I grab Menes by his neck and lift him high above me before slamming him against the wall. My voice is slow and deliberate. "Say what you want about me, Menes, but if you **EVER** insult my husband again I will personally rip your fucking throat out and throw your body to the dogs." I slam him back against the wall. "You would do well to remember your place." I drop him to the floor before storming out of the palace and on to the far banks of the river. I kneel down and splash some water on my face. I can't believe I got so angry, although I can't say I'm entirely surprised. I've always had anger issues. I just hope it doesn't consume me, not again. I shake my head and start to walk away when I feel someone grab my arm.

I turn around to see Shadi looking rather afraid. "Nefertiri, I—what just happened?"

"I'm sorry, Shadi, I just lost my temper."

"You did a little more than that. You **cracked** his skull Nefertiri. If I hadn't been there to stop the swelling in his brain he would have died. What's going on?"

I sigh heavily. I knew this would come up, but I didn't think it would be so soon. "Shadi, if we're going to be together the way we want to someday, there are things about me that you must know."

He takes my hand and guides me outside the palace gates, to a peaceful spot along the river where the most beautiful lotus blossoms grow. He sits down with me and wraps his arms around my waist after he picks a gorgeous white flower and gives to me. "I'm listening."

I take a deep breath. "Okay, Shadi, the thing you need to know about me is that I get angry. I get very angry. At times I have fits of uncontrollable rage, and I can barely recognize myself."

"I'm sure it's not that bad, Nefertiri. We all get angry, and sometimes it's—"

"Shadi you don't understand. You saw what just happened back there. I fractured a man's skull just for speaking ill of my husband. And that's not even the worst of it, Shadi. I've killed a man."

"Well of course you did. You were at war; you did—"

"NO, Shadi this is well before that." I tuck some hair back behind my ear. "It happened when I was seventeen." I sigh heavily. "I… He…"

He tightens his grip around my waist and kisses my forehead. "It's okay, Nefertiri. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, no, I need to. If we're going to be together someday, you need to know everything about me. I wasn't always the stately queen you're holding in your arms."

"Indeed. I remember watching you as a servant. You were always so quiet and shy. It's like you were trying so hard to be invisible. But I always knew there was something more to you." He chuckles softly. "Do you remember the first time we met?"

I smile softly. "That seems like forever ago. I was seventeen, and I had just had my son. He was sick with a bad cough. I had heard about this new palace healer. The priestesses had said you were exceptionally gifted, and I only wanted the best for my son. So late one night, I wrapped him up in a thin cloth and took him to your room."

"I'll never forget the first time I saw you with your little son in your arms. You looked so scared."

"But even though it was so late, and you were clearly exhausted, you took such good care of him. You fixed him right up. I can't thank you enough for that."

He rubs my back. "It was nothing. Even now I can remember your sweet smile as you thanked me."

I sigh heavily and shake my head. "Anyway, it happened when I was seventeen. But it started when I was fifteen. There are a lot of things you don't know about me." I tuck some hair behind my other ear and sigh heavily. "I was repeatedly raped between the ages of fifteen and nineteen by the so-called Priests of Ra."

"Oh, I—"

"Let me finish, let me finish," I softly chastise. "Like I said, it started when I was fifteen, and I didn't know what to do. I was devastated. I was alone. But more than anything I was afraid. There were so many of them; I knew that resistance was futile. So I let them do awful things to me. One man in particular… he would sneak into my room at night. That's how I got pregnant with Anon. I didn't know what to do. I can actually remember the times when I would lie awake praying to miscarry, but I never did. So I had my baby, and looking back I never regret any of it. How could I, when he was the only positive in all of that?

"Anyway, it was just after I had had Anon. He was a little more than a week old. At first he was allowed to sleep in my room with me. It was on one of those nights that it happened. He was sleeping peacefully, and as usual, I lie awake in bed. I had just turned over to go to sleep when I heard someone sneaking into my room. All I remember thinking was that I would do anything to protect my son… He was in my room and on top of me before I knew it." I swallow. "I'd kept a dagger in my room and was waiting for… my son's father to try and come take him away from me, and so I instinctively grabbed it. But when I looked upon the face of my attacker, it wasn't him. I tried to scream, but Sehetepre put a hand over my mouth and told me that if I screamed he would kill my 'bastard' son right in front of my eyes." I start to shake. "I don't know what came over me. I just remember feeling so scared, but even still so enraged, and seeing red. The next thing I knew the dagger was in his neck, and he was bleeding everywhere." I lick my lips before I continue. "But I couldn't stop there. I just remember going into fit of rage, just stabbing and stabbing over and over and over again. And before I knew it there was this… thing, that used to be a man, but was now a bloody mess of flesh and bones."

He looks shocked. It's the same look Atem wore when I told him. "You killed Sehetepre?" He shakes his head. "They said it was one of the most brutal murders anyone can remember—"

I look down in shame. "I'm not proud of what I did, okay! Like I said, I don't know what came over me." I run a hand through my hair. "I just… one second I saw Sehetepre on top of me, and just like that in my mind's eye it was Ahmenhotep, and he was touching me and beating me and raping me, and I—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute." He looks down at me. "Are you telling me Ahmenhotep raped you?"

I can't bear to face him. "Shadi, I can't… Please…"

"Wait. Wait. Is he your son's father?" The look on my face says what my mouth won't. "Nefertiri, I can't believe what you're telling me. I—How in Ma'at's (2) holy name did Atem let this man serve on his council, knowing that he raped you?" Shadi exclaims.

I shake my head. "He didn't know! No one knew. No one besides Mahado… you're the first person I've ever actually told." He shoots up and starts for the palace. "Shadi! I… please. Please don't do anything rash." I wipe my face with my hands. "I need to handle this in my own way."

"But what if he—I mean, without Atem here to protect you at night he could very well—"

"Present moment excluded, I am never more than five hands away from my swords. BUT," I start to blush, "if it will make you feel better, you're more than welcome to sleep in my bedroom."

It's Shadi's turn to blush. "I, um… well… I…"

"Then it's settled. You will join me in my room tonight. I only pray I don't snore." He loosens up at that. "But back to the matter at hand. I really should apologize to the councilmen. That would be the noble thing to do."

"Agreed, Your Majesty," Shadi says with a smile before holding a hand out to pull me up. He takes my hand and his and I'm up and in his arms. I blush softly, and he takes the liberty of kissing my forehead lovingly. "You're going to be fine."

"Only with your faith in me." I manage a grin as we walk hand-in-hand until we reach the palace gates. At that point, we let each other go and assume a safe distance. He silently escorts me to the throne room where I retake my seat. The Council remains here, discussing the events of the previous meeting. I give them a few minutes while I gather my thoughts before clearing my throat. All at once they drop and place their hands over their hearts, the traditional sign of respect for royalty. I'm surprised at that, but I won't let them see it. "Gentlemen, I have returned to inform you of my deepest sorrow at the way I acted today. I'm absolutely appalled that you all had to see me like that. I promise on penalty of divine punishment of Ma'at that I will never act in such a dishonorable way again." I look to see some of them nod and others voicing their forgiveness, all of it tentatively.

"It's quite all right, My Lady Queen Nefertiri," Mahado comforts, choosing to address me by one of my most formal titles. "We understand that you were angry, and also that Menes, over the years, has not been the most agreeable member of your royal court."

"Well I thank you for that, Mahado. But the matter still remains. My dear late husband Atem is still the Pharaoh here. His throne may be empty beside me but he still rules on in our hearts and minds. My title is no longer Queen Regent (3) as it had been while he was away at war; I am now the Queen Dowager (4). If it so pleases you, you may address me as your Lady Dowager." I allow them all a moment to process this. "On the same token, Atem has always been, and will always be my first and true husband and you must respect that. His memory is very dear to me, and I refuse to have his name sullied by the likes of you, or anyone else for that matter. And with that, I'm done. Dismissed."

The councilmen leave and scatter about the palace, but Mahado remains. "Are you sure you're all right, Nefertiri?"

"Quite," I manage with a slight smile, glad that Mahado at least asked after me. "If you really thought I was going to let those old fools get to me, you must not have been paying attention all these years." I let lose a soft chuckle.

"Of course, not. I only meant that you might be tired considering—"

"Nonsense. I've slowly been gaining my energy back, and I'm almost my old self again. I'll hear no more on the subject. Now, if you two will kindly excuse me," I rise from the throne, "I'd like some time to myself. I have a lot on my mind, and I see meditation in solitude as the only solution."

"Of course, Lady _Satiah_," Shadi says as I leave the throne room. I exit the palace and go back to the where the most beautiful lotus blossoms grow, pleased that no one is here. I smile as I sit down on the riverbank and dip my feet in the cool water. Here I find the peace that now eludes me in the palace. In that place, everything reminds me of Atem. Every tile on the floor; every brick in every wall; the paintings, the light fixtures, the flames IN said light fixtures. I never find any relief from my anguish in there. Out here there is fresh air. Out here there is cool water. Out here there is no one to call me Your Majesty or Lady Dowager, or whatever.

It's not long before I find myself in deep meditation, and further on to deep sleep. With the water lapping at my lower legs, it's no marvel that I sleep for hours. I awaken, albeit begrudgingly, to a hand shaking me gently and soon realize that it's well after dark. "I'm sorry to awaken you, _Satiah_, but I um, I..." I recognize Shadi's voice at once.

"Oh, right, right. Of course," I try to rise, but since my feet have been submerged in cold water so long, they are utterly opposed to movement right now. "I can't seem to get my balance about me." I blush, thoroughly embarrassed.

"No worry." He scoops me up in his arms, and instantly my mind starts to work against me. The notion of Shadi carrying me to my bedroom, joining me, even if it isn't in that special way sets my heart to racing. I find the strength to calm down and drive my thoughts elsewhere. He ushers me to my rooms and further to my bed. "I brought you a treat," he says before handing me a tray of goodies. I take one and taste it. I can't help but savor every delicious essence of the dessert. Upon further inspection I find the tray to consist of spheres of sweet dough rolled in honey and topped with sugar. To say that my mouth is in ecstasy is an understatement. I can't thank Shadi enough for bringing me this food.

Once the tray is cleared I rise to take a bath. "Shadi, I'm going to take a bath. Feel free to make yourself comfortable." I start for the washrooms.

"Nefertiri, I can't. I feel so strange in here, knowing that Pharaoh once slept—"

"Actually he didn't. After Atem died I was experiencing the same problem. So I had the rooms rearranged. If I remember correctly, this used to be the sitting room. The study area is the room that Atem and I used to sleep in. I even had the furniture replaced. Atem never so much as laid eyes on any of these things."

"I thank you for that, Lady."

I nod and smile softly. "Now, if you'll excuse me." I continue on my way to the washroom and let my cloth slide down my back before coming to rest at my hips before closing the door. I look down into the tubs. Fresh steaming water, just like I like it. I wriggle out of my cloth and pull my hair up before fetching my favorite soap: lavender, jasmine, and vanilla combine to indulge me in a sensory experience like no other.

I slide into the water up my neck and let it soothe my aching muscles as I let the awful memories of the day fade from my mind. I start to wash, letting the essences melt the tension off of my body. I find it time to rise and gather my lavender vanilla oil. As I pour it in my hand, I can't help but think to ask Shadi to oil me tenderly. I smile at the devilish thought before it wisps away. Thank goodness. I certainly can't face Shadi with that on my mind. He'd see right through me, even without his Millennium Key (5).

Once my skin is moisturized and smelling just right, I pull down a sheer nightgown, extra coverage for my breasts of course. I pull it down and over my body and watch it cascade about a hand or so above my knees. And with that, I enter my bedroom once more.

I'm surprised to see Shadi changed and ready for bed, reading some scrolls at a table in the corner. He doesn't even look up at me. "You're a tease, you know that Nefertiri."

I feign surprise. "Excuse me. Whatever do you mean?" I sit on the bed.

He folds his scrolls and joins me. "Don't act like you don't know. Did you really have to start disrobing in front of me? It took all my strength not to come and join you." He blushes heavily.

"My my aren't we so forward." I plant a kiss on his cheek. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping you would accompany me." He smiles at that. "But for now I've got to get plenty of sleep. I'm going to need all my energy to go out into the kingdom tomorrow."

"You're right. Do you think you can handle it?"

"Of course I can. I've gone out plenty of times."

"True, but not as Queen Dowager."

"You're right, but I know I can do it. I've always been able to rely on the people's support. They genuinely like and respect me. I'll be fine." He nods solemnly as I pull out the covers. The moment soon becomes awkward. "I, um… I guess we should, uh…" Shadi pulls the covers back some more so that I can climb into bed.

Once I'm comfortable, he joins me after a minute or two. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"It was my idea," I say as I turn over. "I'm comfortable with you. The question is are you okay with this?"

"I, uh… I…" he kisses me softly to let me know that he's comfortable with me as well. I lay down with his arms around me and soon drift off to sleep.

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1-The Eighteenth Dynasty was the time period during which Akhenaton, the Pharaoh popularized to be Atem's father, ruled.

2-Ma'at was the Egyptian goddess of justice who's Feather of Truth was used to weigh a person's heart.

3-Queen Regent is a title used to recognize a queen who ruled in her king's stead.

4-Queen Dowager is a formal title which refers to the widow of the current king.

5-The Millennium Key grants its user the ability to look into the soul of anyone s/he wishes and also read their thoughts.

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Well I certainly don't think that was one of my better chapters. The flow was choppy and the diction was forced, among other things. But what really matters is what you think, so please leave a review.

Dead Reckoning


	27. And No Kingdom Is Safe

Wow, it's been such a long hiatus, and I really do feel guilty about that. But I do hope that this chapter helps make up for it!

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Chapter 26:

And No Kingdom Is Safe

I take a deep breath as the chimes on the balcony ring to beckon me awake. I smile softly before turn over to the river and reciting an incantation to continue the breeze after it stops. I feel Shadi's arms tighten around me and can't suppress a blush as memories of last night splash across my mind. In the two years since Atem's passing, Shadi and I have become extremely close. Out of respect to Atem and my eternal commitment to him, we waited a year before we made any romantic moves other than a kiss or a lingering hug. But when we did decide to be together in that special way… I can't help but smile at the thought.

I try not to concentrate on the devilish thoughts so much as I get up and get dressed. I'm not expecting anything major to happen today, but I won't take any chances. Ever since Atem's funeral, I've been more and more cautious. I know that some people will do whatever it takes to end this dynasty. I know that there are many threats—both foreign and domestic—to my family's safety. And knowing that keeps me convinced that I can never be too careful.

I hear little footsteps pit-pattering towards me. "Mama!" I turn around and catch my little Yujin as he jumps into my arms. I twirl him around and let his laughter bring a bright smile to my face. My little boy has twice the energy of the average two-year-old. It's a wonder I can keep up with him at all. I set him down and pat his head as he wraps his little arms around my legs.

"Yujin where's your sister?" I expected Alexandria to be with him. She loves her little brother dearly and takes him everywhere.

"Lessons," is his only response. My son is a boy of few words, not entirely unlike his father. I sigh sadly but recover quickly to finish getting ready for the day. Once I don my jewelry, I take Yujin's hand in mine and head for the throne room. Once we arrive, I pick him up and set him down in his father's empty throne beside me.

I can't believe it's already been two years since Atem died. It feels like I'm just making it back from Hattusa. I see him die every night in my dreams, and it never gets any easier. In fact, it gets worse as time goes on. Every day that I don't wake up in his arms feels like another day that I have to have my heart ripped out. I know that two years is a long time to mourn, but it's still so hard to grasp the fact that my husband is dead.

Mahado snaps me out of my trance as he walks in with a beautiful young woman. "Jessenia! It's so good to see you!" I nod slightly as she bows deeply before me. Jessenia is one of my most trusted advisers, and our friendship dates back to my time of servitude. I smile as she makes her way to the throne and hugs me. "Mahado, a pleasure as always."

"The pleasure is mine as usual, Nefertiri," he says before winding an arm around her slender waist. In the first few months since Atem's death, I learned that Mahado wasn't shutting me out at all. He and Jessenia were in an uneasy courtship, and he was having a hard time resolving the remnants of his feelings for me. Add in the fact that I was grieving the loss of my husband while caring for two small children, it's no wonder he was a little distant. And while I was hurt that he would keep it from me, as a friend I had no choice but to forgive him. I want nothing more than to see him happy, and I know that Jessenia makes him happier than he's been in a long time.

"What brings you here today, Jessenia? Certainly you didn't stop by just to make small talk…"

"No, no, My Lady Queen. I would never waste your time like that." She sighs softly. "I just wanted to warn you…" she lowers her voice, "I overheard some of your higher advisers talking the other day."

"Oh?"

"Yes, about a very serious matter. It seems as though certain ones of your higher courtiers and advisers—Lords Sanakhte, Sahure, Khety, Semenre, and Renseneb, along with the Lord Ahmenhotep—have all been meeting with high nobles of the Persian court."

I'm alarmed, but I'm not entirely surprised as of yet. The Persian Empire is one of our oldest allies, and it's not entirely unusual for nobles of allied courts to meet and discuss matters of state. But for Jessenia to bring it up, it must be serious. "Oh really? Concerning what exactly?"

"It seems as if the new Persian Emperor has found a… fault, if you will, in the old treaty."

I raise an eyebrow. "And? Why has he chosen not to address this with me before sending his nobles to do his bidding, and with my lower viziers no less?"

"I'm not sure, my Lady Queen, but I just want you to be careful. Xerxes is a new king from a fledgling dynasty; there's no way to be sure what exactly he's capable of."

"Agreed. That's definitely true, but having said that and on that same token I at least want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'll give him a couple of days to send some type of formal word as to his intentions, and in the meantime I'll discuss the matter with the Lords at the next meeting."

"Forgive me for overstepping my boundaries, Lady, but the next meeting isn't for a couple of days…"

"I know that, Jessenia, and that is why I'm giving them enough time—and rope—to hang themselves. I've had the Keeper of the Necklace do some scrying for me, and it seems as if these Lords have been working with Ahmenhotep for a while now. You remember the trouble we had with those accountants two years ago?" Jessenia nods warily. "I found out that those six were in fact behind it the whole time and lining their pockets with the kingdom's money."

Jessenia lets out a startled gasp. "And you haven't brought them up on charges of treason?"

I shake my head. "No, no, not yet. We all know that as nobles—and my husband's appointees at that—the penalty for such treason would be minimal if any, especially given the fact that they stole the money when the kingdom was experiencing a financial surplus." I murmur a quick prayer to Hemsut (1) that our good fortunes continue before I finish speaking. "So I don't want to press any formal charges until I'm sure that I can justify their execution."

Mahado gasps. "Execution? Nefertiri, I can understand you wanting to execute Ahmenhotep for what he did to you, but—"

"This has nothing to do with my hatred for Ahmenhotep. Rest assured I sleep well at night knowing that Ammut will give that rat bastard no less than what he deserves. As for the others, I can't take any chances. If I banish them they will think me weak and continue plotting against me. But if they're executed… if they're executed, they can no longer do us harm, and it will also serve as an example."

"That's true, I guess," he relents.

I tuck some hair behind an ear and pick up a whimpering Yujin. "I'm glad you see the logic in my plans," I say with a soft smile. "Was there anything else you wanted to tell me?"

"No, Lady Queen, that was all," Jessenia says with a bow. "We'll leave you to your thoughts." She takes Mahado's hand in hers and leaves.

I decide to go take Yujin and Alex for a ride before it gets too hot to move, so I get up and head for Alex's room. I can hear her with her teacher before I even reach the threshold. I take a peak before making my presence known. "My Queen," Selketaset, her instructor, greets.

I smile at my daughter as she is still concentrating on the artwork she is conjuring—a beautiful painting on an enchanted canvas. The picture changes as her thoughts change. My daughter is a brilliant young sorceress and can learn anything she puts her mind to, but her favorite thing to invoke has always been any form of art. She opens her eyes and the image settles—an incredible portrait of her spirit beast, Athena. Athena is a powerful fairy type monster who can hold her own against almost any opponent. She surveys her work before noticing us.

"Alex!" her brother calls and reaches for her. She smiles and gladly comes to pick him up.

"Hi Mommy." She hugs my leg with her free hand. "Is everything okay?" I usually don't visit her during her lessons since I know how hard she tries to concentrate, so I can understand her concern at the unexpected visit.

"Yes, sweetie, everything is fine. I was just going to go for a ride with your brother and was wondering if you could pull yourself away from your lessons long enough to join us?" I ask with a bright, inviting smile.

Her eyes light up, and I see so much of Atem in her. "Oh, can I, mistress Selketaset, please?"

Selketaset gives us a bright grin. "How can I refuse such a beautiful smile? Of course you can. I'll be in the infirmary when you get back." Not only is she my daughter's teacher, Selketaset is also a brilliant healer, and so she teaches my daughter those mystical arts, too.

"Then it's settled. Let's go." I take Yujin from her and hold out my free hand to her. She gladly takes it and almost pulls my arm off as she leads me out and to the stables.

"Mommy will I get to ride by myself today?" she asks as she runs to her favorite horse, a young mare named Sia. Sia whinnies as Alex gives her some sugar cubes. Much to my chagrin, Alex has developed into a talented rider for her six years.

I sigh heavily. "Not today, sweetheart. I have to look out for your brother, and I don't want to have to run after you, too. You have a bad habit of leaving me in the dust when I have your brother."

She pouts but soon relents and proceeds to saddle my horse as I give the stableman orders to bring me a supply sack. I don't plan on being gone very long, but in the Egyptian desert you can never take any chances. I mount with Alex in front of me and tell her to hold on to her brother for dear life as I take the supply sack and strap it to Khepri's saddle. Once that's finished and we're all saddled, I take my little Yujin and hand Alex the reigns.

She starts off with a trot, but once I give the okay that I'm holding Yujin tight enough, she kicks Khepri into a fast run. It's not long before we reach our destination, a beautiful oasis that's far from the palace gates. Atem used to take us here all the time when he was alive, and when he died, Alex and I continued to come here when we needed to get away. We've even planted trees and placed lotus blossoms in the pool to honor his memory. I tie Khepri to a tree near some water and give her a few carrots to munch on as Alex takes Yujin and sits by the edge of the pool with him. They dip their feet in, and my ears delight with the music of their giggles as the fish nibble at their toes. After making sure that Khepri is all right after the journey, I join them and place my feet in the water. "It's almost like I can feel Daddy here," Alex starts distantly.

"I know, I feel him here, too. That's part of the reason I come here so much."

"Dada?" Yujin asks.

"Uh huh," Alex continues. "You never got to meet him, Yujin, and that always makes me sad." I struggle to hold back my tears. "You would have loved him so much. He was brave, and kind, and strong… he always made you feel special, and when he talked to you he made you feel like there was no one else in the room, right Mommy?"

The tears roll down my face, and my voice comes out shaky and strained. "That's right, baby. Your father was really a special man. He was honest and smart and faithful and trustworthy… He's what any man should dream of being." I wipe my eyes as Yujin looks up at me. "And you're just like him, my little prince." I smile down at him as he kisses my nose. I sigh heavily before enjoying a few more peaceful moments here with my babies.

I rise as Ra starts to send his rays blaring down at us. I give Yujin some cool water so he won't start to fuss after telling Alex to get Khepri ready to ride back to the palace. I hand Yujin to Alex as I mount and take him as she does the same. In no time we're on a fast run back to the palace. I dismount with the baby still in my arms and manage to catch Alex as she jumps down. "Time to go back to your lessons, sweetie," I take her hand and lead her to the infirmary for the day's healing lessons, and I smile as Shadi crosses my path. "Well, hello, Shadi, it's about time you got up."

He blushes softly. "I've been up for a while, Nefertiri. Where've you been?" he asks before laying a soft kiss on me. I was initially terrified of telling Alex about Shadi and me, but I knew I had to. I was just so glad when she accepted our relationship and welcomed Shadi with open arms.

"I was taking the children for a ride. I figured we could use some time away from everything."

"Well that was nice of you," he says as Alex gives him a hug. "Off to your healing lessons, Princess?" She gives a silent nod. "Would you mind some company then, Small Lady?"

"Of course not. I'd like it if you joined me." She takes his hand and leads him off to the infirmary.

I sigh softly before making my way back to the throne room and taking my seat. I ask one of the servants to bring me some fruit for Yujin; she bows and leaves after playing with him for a second. Suddenly one of my couriers enters. "My Lady, I'm sorry to disturb you…"

"No disturbance at all, Tiu, as you can see I was just playing with the baby." I smile softly. "Do you have some news for me?"

"Yes, yes, Lady Dowager. A Persian courtier has just instructed me to hand you this letter. It's from the Persian Emperor…"

I knew Xerxes would send some type of word. I thank him before taking the letter and begin to read:

_To the Honorable Lady Queen Nefertiri,_

_I write to you humbly as a new King trying to learn the ways of an old kingdom. As such, I've been reviewing all our old treaties and have come across some puzzling things. I'd like to review them with you and would be most privileged if you would come to Susa to discuss the terms of a completely new accord with me. You're welcome to bring as many members of your court as you feel comfortable with, and you can rest assured I will personally see to it that no harm comes to Egypt while you're gone. If we're lucky, you won't be gone more than a few weeks._

_I look forward to seeing you soon, Lady._

_The Persian King,_

_Xerxes_

I can't help but raise an eyebrow. I knew the king was full of himself, but to just assume that I would up and leave for Persia just because he asks me to? I shake my head. I can't risk losing Persia as an ally; they're not nearly as strong or as expansive as Egypt is, but they act as an important buffer against the Mongols in the East. They're also a crucial barrier against the northern tribes. So I guess I'll be heading to Persia, but Xerxes has truly lost his mind if he thinks I'll be there for a few weeks. I only intend to iron out a new treaty and leave right after.

"Is everything all right, my Lady Queen?" Tiu asks.

My thoughts must have been written all over my face. "Yes, yes, I'm fine, Tiu. Thank you so much for asking. If you would please, be a dear and fetch me some papyri and a feather. I'll be making my reply to the emperor now. Also, if it's not too much trouble, do you mind informing my court that there will be a meeting over supper this evening? I've some things to discuss with them."

He bows deeply. "Of course, Lady, anything you ask," he replies before leaving. As I wait I start to think of things I'll need for my journey, and also who I should choose to accompany me. The more people I think to invite, the more people I realize I need to stay and look after things while I'm gone. So it looks like I'm going to have to go to Persia by myself. While I wait for my court to arrive, I start to jot down a list of the things I'll need for the journey. Luckily for me, I always pack lightly.

Just as I finish my list, a servant arrives to let me know that dinner is served and the court is waiting for me, so I fold my list, tuck it inside my dress, and leave for the Dining Hall. I promptly apologize for my tardiness and rush to my seat so as not to keep them waiting any longer. Once I recite the opening prayers, the meal begins and I waste no time in making my point. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I've gathered you here this evening… Today I was on the receiving end of an invitation to the Persian Empire from none other than the new King Xerxes himself." They openly let their surprise show. "I was quite surprised myself, but I've decided to accept his invitation."

Everyone starts to murmur amongst themselves, and Shadi finally says what's on everyone's mind. "And who have you chosen to accompany you, Majesty?"

"That's actually why I've summoned you all here. I've chosen to make the journey to Susa on my own."

They take a collective gasp. "But Nefertiri," Mahado protests, "there's no way we could possibly allow you to—"

"You're in no position to ALLOW me to do ANYTHING, Mahado," I warn him with a hard look. "I've chosen to go by myself because I need all of you here to and look after things while I'm gone. I will be delegating my duties among the lot of you; Mahado, as the Chief Priest of Ra, you'll be my second-in-command while I'm gone, all right?"

"Yes, of course, My Queen, and I apologize for disrespecting you just now, but with you being the only member of the dynasty who can rule right now, we can't take any chances with your safety. More than that, we care about you. You're our Queen, and we'd be lost without you."

I smile softly. "Well I thank you for that, Mahado, and I accept your apology as well." I begin to into the division of my responsibilities and duties as queen. "You will report to Mahado who will in turn report directly to me. Do you understand me?" They nod their agreement, as if they actually had a choice.

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll need to start preparing for the journey. Please, enjoy your meal." I take my leave and head straight for my rooms. On my way I start to feel nauseas and have to run to my washrooms. I make it just in time to lose most of my dinner. I think nothing of it and continue about my business. I manage to pack my things, put the children to bed, clean my rooms, and take a bath before Shadi returns from supper.

He opens the door and allows an awful smell to assault my nose. "Oh God, what IS that awful stench?" I yell as I run into the washroom to lose the rest of my dinner.

Shadi leans in the doorway with a glass of sweet ginger ale at the ready. "I didn't smell anything strange, _Satiah_?"

I wash my mouth out before kissing him and taking a big gulp of the ginger ale. "How could you not have smelled that?" I ask, truly bewildered.

He purses his lips as we make our way back into the bedroom. "Nefertiri, I know this is horrible timing, but… um… well…"

I raise an eyebrow. I'm not really in the mood to play guessing games. "What."

He sighs heavily. "How would you like to have a child with me, Nefertiri?"

"WHAT? Where the Hell is this coming from, Shadi?"

He takes a deep breath, almost as if he was expecting this reaction. "I think you might be pregnant…"

My eyes grow wide, and I can tell from his expression that I've become deathly pale. "I—what do you mean?"

"I've been noticing some changes in the past few weeks or so…"

"Like?"

"Your appetite has decreased dramatically, and you're having trouble keeping down the food you DO eat… You've been getting dizzy and light-headed. You always seem to be fatigued, and your blood hasn't come for at least two months now."

"Oh my God," I sit down on the bed. "I'm pregnant."

"How are you feeling, _Satiah_? Are you excited?"

"I, um… y-yeah," I shake my head. "Of course I'm excited. I—"

"You're not. You're upset. What's wrong?"

"It's just so soon…" I let my head fall into my hands. "I mean, Yujin is only two, and it hasn't even been three months since we went public with our relationship. I'm just not sure—"

"I see. Well, if you don't want it, I can always brew you an abortive—"

"Of course I want it!" I scream loudly. "How the Hell could you even SAY that?" I rise from the bed again.

"I'm so sorry to upset you, Nefertiri. I just," he looks down. "I just want you to be happy, and I can tell that having a baby with me isn't going to make you happy."

"I didn't say that. Don't tell me how I feel. I—" I sigh heavily. "I would like nothing more than to give you a child, Shadi, really I would. I just didn't expect to get pregnant so soon… But that doesn't matter." I let a small smile creep across my face. "We're going to have a baby."

I can see the tension in him melt away as he rises and hugs me. "Are you sure you want to do this, Nefertiri?"

"I haven't wanted anything this much in a long time," I reply before kissing him.

"And when will you be leaving for Persia, my love?"

"I'll be departing on the morrow. I've already told the children, and my courier is well on his way to Persia. I've asked him to stay for the duration of my stay there."

"I really think you should let me come with you. I could watch over you and help you in case anything happens to the baby."

I smile weakly. "Nothing is going to happen to the baby. I can take care of myself, and you know I'm going to be that much more cautious now that I'm pregnant. I'll be fine."

"Just promise me that you'll be careful…"

"Aren't I always?" I feign a smile as to shirk the anxiety that has since set in.

"Yes, but you know how I worry… And you not letting me come is going to drive me up a wall."

"Oh, hush. I said I'll be fine," I kiss him softly. "I need to get to bed so I'll be rested for the journey tomorrow. Care to join me?" I ask as I climb into bed and pull the covers up over me.

"Don't I always," he teases as he climbs in and puts his arms around me. I sigh heavily as I hear Shadi drift off to sleep. I try to get some sleep for the journey tomorrow, but I just can't. I can't seem to get over the fact that I'm pregnant, and I also can't shake the feeling that something horrible is about to happen because of it.

* * *

1-Hemsut: Hemsut was an Egyptian goddess of fate and protection.

Okay so this chapter was kind of awkward to write, but I'm glad I got something out there. I'm busy working on my next story so this one hasn't gotten very much of my attention as of late. But on a good note I am hoping to finish this story in the next four chapters or so!

Yours,  
Dead Reckoning


	28. No Remorse

Jeez, it's been a long time. I hope you can forgive me!

* * *

Chapter 27:

No Remorse

I take a sip of water and give the rest to Khepri as I lean against her. We've been walking for days; riding only serves to aggravate my nausea. I know I've got to be out of my mind for coming to Persia on my own, especially in my current condition, but I don't plan on staying very long, and Egypt needs the stability that the court will provide in my absence.

I smile as we reach the city gates. I nod my head to the guards and state my purpose. "I'm Nefertiri, Queen of Egypt… Your emperor Xerxes is expecting me…"

"Oh, yes, Your Highness," the guard, whom I soon discover to be a general, replies as he bows deeply. "Here, let me." He opens the gates and escorts me to the palace.

"Thank you. I need to take my horse to stable," I start as I look around for the stables.

"Of course, my Lady. Right this way." He leads me around the palace and into the stables.

I'm puzzled to find the place mostly empty. "Where're all your horses?" I ask.

"We cleared them for you and your caravan… We were expecting them to be with you?" he asks in reply.

"I came by myself. I'm not staying long," I answer as I tie off my horse and give her some feed. After I take my bags, I turn and start back for the palace, ignoring the surprise on the general's face. He recovers and joins me just as I reach the inner gates and enter.

"The throne room is this way." And once again I'm following his lead. He leads me down spiraling hallways and corridors until we reach the throne room. I find Xerxes busy signing petitions and drafting new laws. "My emperor, the Egyptian Queen is here."

I bow my head as Xerxes looks up from the parchment and descends his throne. "My Lady Queen… such a pleasure and an honor to finally meet you."

I sigh softly and swallow. "Same." I nod as he takes my hand and kisses it. "So what do we have on the itinerary today?"

I raise an eyebrow as he tightens his grip and leads me out of the throne room. "I'm sure you're quite exhausted from such a long and perilous journey, and by yourself no less…" Wow. News sure travels fast around here. "And so in light of this I would just like to welcome you as the guest of honor to tonight's evening meal. After you rest and get better acquainted, of course."

"I thank you for your consideration, and unless you have other plans, I'll be reviewing our treaty tonight and proposing my changes on the morrow."

"Well, actually I did. While I know you'll want to freshen up before the banquet, I would be most honored if you would accompany me in tonight's bath."

I stop which incites Xerxes to turn around and stare at me. "Oh, allow me to explain. In our culture baths are a public affair, a sort of show of good will. And I want you to experience as much of our culture as you can on your stay here."

"Right," I reply sarcastically. "I'm afraid I'll have to respectfully decline… Because you see in my culture baths are… uh, incredibly private, and while I, uh, I greatly appreciate your efforts to teach me your ways, I simply cannot disrespect or ignore mine," I blatantly lie. Baths are a public matter in Egypt as well, especially when one considers the high value we place on sex and the sensual. But I figure that with all his attempts to have me learn his ways, Xerxes has failed to learn anything about mine. It's almost like he's trying to prepare me to assimilate… I purse my lips and move on as he starts to lead me again.

"Very well then. I have no choice but to accept your decision, although if you do decide to change your mind, I'll be in the baths just after dinner… And I do hope you'll change your mind." We stop at an open doorway to a lavish set of rooms. "You'll be staying here while you're in Persia. I hope the rooms are to your liking."

As I look around, I can't help admiring the architecture and decorations. "This is so lovely. Thank you so much, Xerxes."

"And where shall I rest your things, Lady?" the general asks.

"Oh, um, anywhere is fine, thank you." I sit on one of the chairs in the anteroom and relish the silk down cushions. "If you don't mind, I'd like to freshen up before the banquet."

Xerxes answers. "Yes, yes, Nefertiri. I'll send Razin for you once we're set to begin. Your personal washroom is just over there." He points.

"Right. Thank you." I clasp my hands and cross my legs while I wait for him to leave. I have to clear my breath for him to get the hint."

"Oh, right. Um, if you don't mind, there's a gown on your bed I'd like you to wear."

"I'll consider it. If you please…" I smile and rub my eyes as they leave.

I sigh heavily. I can't stop myself from thinking about Atem. The last time I made an effort at diplomacy, I got him killed. My son, too. I can only wonder who might be next. Alex? Yujin? I have to be careful. I run my hands through my hair before getting up and heading to the bedchamber. I should at least look at what he wants me to wear, even if he's got no chance. Once I get a look at it, my suspicions are confirmed. It's not so much a gown as a top and skirt, and skimpy ones at that. Not to mention they're the wrong color. Purple with gold embroidery. I shake my head and gather my bags to look for a dress. I decide on a simple red dress with gold embroidery before running to the washroom as another wave of nausea sets in.

I notice the heat from the water basin and run my hand through it. Nice and hot. I slip out of my dress and slide down into the water. I take a deep breath before letting the water consume me as I try to flush the horrible thoughts from my mind. No matter how much I try I can't stop thinking about my husband. Even now, three years after his death, his memory still haunts me. I can still see his face as the life slipped away from him. I can still hear his voice as he murmured his last 'I love you.' I can't seem to get past the fact that my soul made is dead. And being here is no help. Every time I look at Xerxes I think about Darrius. I sigh as I start to wash. I have to banish these thoughts from my mind. I can't do my diplomatic duties if my mind is stuck on the past. I need to look toward the future. More importantly, all this stress isn't good for the baby.

I lean back and rest my head against the basin. I cannot believe him pregnant. It's not that I'm not excited about giving Shadi a baby. I just can't shake the feeling that something awful is going to happen. The last time I got pregnant, my husband and son were killed. And while I know that they were casualties of war, that doesn't stop me from feeling like my pregnancy had something to do with it. And it's hard not to think that way, when I didn't have the time to process my emotions.

But that's not important now. I have to do whatever it takes to keep my baby—and my country—safe. That means that right now I have to concentrate on whatever Xerxes wants me to fix in our treaty so I can get back to Egypt and work on my domestic affairs. With that in mind, I get out of the basin and rub oil before getting dresses and donning my jewelry.

Since I'm to be summoned for tonight's banquet, I decide to get a jump start on my reading. I gather my scrolls and feathers, and drip water into my ink well. In just the few moments I've spent reviewing the pact, I can't seem to find anything wrong with it. But I suppose I can make a few concessions in some of the older clauses. I guess most of the work will have to be done in negotiations.

I wait for a few minutes and clear my head. I can't help but hope tonight's dinner doesn't last very long. And that it's not too extravagant. Whatever the duration I decide it can't hurt to have a positive attitude and a charming smile. Meanwhile, General Razin returns to summon me. "My Lady Queen, the Emperor is ready for you now."

I smile softly. "Thank you, Razin." I rise and meet him at the door. "Is everyone at the banquet hall?"

"Yes, my Lady. The Emperor wanted you to make a grand entry. It's not very often that we have a powerful queen join us for dinner." I'm surprised when he blushes softly. "A-and if I may… You look absolutely stunning."

It's my turn to blush. "Oh, I… my great thanks. I don't know how. I'm still so exhausted."

He clears his throat. "Well, if it is not too forward, you wear exhaustion quite well."

"Oh, thank you. You're too kind."

We reach the banquet all. It's small but quite lovely. "Allow me," Razin takes my hand and leads me down the length of the center table, to Xerxes' right side.

Just as I sit down, he heads off to a side table. "Oh, wait. Razin!" He turns back, clearly worried. I pat the empty chair beside me. "Please, sit by me." I have a feeling I will require his company and guidance.

"Nefertiri… You look… amazing," Xerxes begins without even a hello. I can't fight the feeling that if left in charge, Xerxes will make sure these meetings last much longer than necessary.

"Thank you." I bow my head and begin to murmur my opening prayer when the king stops me yet again.

"What is that you're whispering?"

"It's—"

"A prayer," Razin interrupts. "The Egyptians always pray before they take their meals… At formal gatherings, the Queen usually leads everyone in their prayers, since she is an embodiment of their chief goddess." I can't help but smile softly as I nod.

"Interesting." I roll my eyes before finishing my prayer and beginning to eat. The food isn't nearly as good as what I'm accustomed to, but being with child, I can't complain and will take whatever nourishment I can get.

Xerxes spends most of the banquet making off-hand remarks about Persian culture and paying more attention to his servants than to me, so I relieved with Razin makes conversation with me.

But even I have my limits. I politely excuse myself and head for the stables to check on my horse. I smile as she whinnies to greet me. "Hello, old friend. Are they treating you well?" I hand her some sugar cubes and give a soft giggle when she tickles my hand.

I jump nearly fifty hands out of my skin when I hear a voice behind me. "It never surprises me how a person's deepest bond can be with their horse." I turn and can't help a smile as Razin approaches me. "May I?" I nod as he reaches out to give Khepri a soft pat on the head. "She seems to be a good horse."

"The best." I yawn, and my frustration at my fatigue shows.

"Is everything all right, my Lady? Are you ill?"

"No, no. I'm quite all right." Should I tell him about my pregnancy? He could look after me… I do trust him. But there is the chance, more like the certainty, that he'll tell Xerxes. And that's a gamble I'm not about to make. I can't take any chances. Not while I'm alone, at least. "I think I just need to rest is all."

He bows while extending his hand towards the palace. "I'll escort you back to your rooms… if you'll have me, that is."

"Of course." He takes a couple of long strides to catch up with me. "I don't know what I did so right to get you, but remind me to do it again sometime."

"I-it is a pleasure to serve, my Lady." I smile softly as he leads me through the winding hallways and back on to my rooms. I take a deep breath as I sit down and put my feet up. "I'll leave you to your rest. If you need anything."

"Wait, wait. You don't have to go. Sit with me."

"Oh, I—Are you sure? I don't want to disturb you."

"No trouble at all. It can get lonely in these rooms all by myself."

"Ah, I understand. If I may… may I ask you something?"

"Sure, ask me anything."

"What is it like in Egypt? I've always wanted to go, but in the military things aren't so simple."

I smile softly. "What's it like in Egypt. That's a good question. Well, I can tell you the food is definitely better." He laughs at that, and I continue on for a while. It's not long before I'm yawning between words, and I'm surprised when I hear a knock. Someone has to be at the wrong door.

I raise an eyebrow and wonder who it could be at this time of night. Regardless I answer the door anyway, and am somehow not surprised to see the emperor standing before me. Much to my annoyance. I sigh heavily. "How can I help you, Emperor…?"

He smiles brightly. "Funny you should ask, Lady. Might I come in?" he asks before entering anyway. I roll my eyes. "Oh, hello, Razin. Will you excuse me? I need to address the queen privately." Razin responds with a nod before leaving immediately, thus furthering my perturbation. "Take a seat, Nefertiri."

"No need. You won't be staying long. What is it that you want from me, Xerxes?"

"I want you to marry me."

What in Ra's holy name… "And why is that?" I ask, raising an eyebrow and putting a hand on my hip.

"Think of it this way. Imagine the might of our combined forces. Your military power with my navy. My foot soldiers with your chariots and technology. We'll be unstoppable. Why, we could conquer the entire known world."

"As intriguing as world domination sounds, Xerxes, I simply do not have those types of aspirations right now. And I probably won't. Ever. And in so far as your own military plans go, I suggest you find another course of action. Our surrounding neighbors will not go down so easily… And you're truly mad if you think YOU can conquer Egypt," I reply with a sly smile.

"Very well then. In that case, I'll leave you to your rest," he says with a bow. "Until tomorrow." I see him out and can swear I heard him say something under his breath.

"Excuse me? Did you say something?"

"No, no," he responds, shaking his head. "Nothing, nothing at all." I close the door behind him and try to put his plans out of my mind so I can rest.

I wake up to that familiar feeling of nausea in the pit of my stomach and barely make it to the bathroom. I sigh heavily before washing my mouth out. Hopefully these next six months will go by quickly, or at least the nausea will stop soon. I smile at the thought before heading back into the bedroom.

Just then I remember that today is the start of our negotiations, and the beginning of the end of my stay here. I go to the bedside table and pick up my amended copies of our treaty before laying them out and getting dressed.

Right when I'm about to head out, I hear a knock at the door. I sigh softly, remembering the last time I got a knock. "Come in," I call softly.

I smile in relief when it's the general and not the emperor. "My Lady, the Emperor is ready for you in the dining hall." He extends his hand for me.

"Sure." I take his hand, and he helps me up and to the dining hall. I yawn and wipe my eyes as I will my body forward and to the Emperor. I have to say I'm quite surprised to find the room empty except for Xerxes. I somehow figured he'd make this another grand occasion. I sit down in my place across from him, and lay out my scrolls. "Good morning, Emperor."

"Pleasant dreams, Lady?"

"The best," I lie. "Now, shall we get started?"

"Yes, yes, but before we do…" He picks up a goblet that I just notice. "A light meal is in order." He hands me the chalice.

I purse my lips. I have a bad feeling about this, but I decide against voicing my opinion. Xerxes and I are not on the best terms as it is, and I don't want to risk anything weakening our fragile alliance. I take the cup and start to drink. My eyes grow wide as it burns my throat and all but rips its way to my stomach.

I drop my cup and try desperately to spit out the foul concoction, but I soon find I'm only producing blood. I grab my lower stomach as a sharp pain shoots through me; however, I somehow find the strength to speak. "What… the… What did you do… to me…?"

He smiles a devilish grin. "Oh, sweet Nefertiri, I'm merely doing what I have to." He rises and walks over to my side to whisper in my ear. "There are other ways to conquer lands…"

It's only now that I am able to make this connection. This monster is trying to assassinate me. What better way to triumph over an empire than to destroy its despot? But try as I might, I can't shake what the poison is doing. I can feel it eating away at me, killing me from the inside out. I look up to see the Emperor's face contorted in an evil glare before everything goes black.


	29. Total Collapse

Chapter 28:

Total Collapse

I wake up to a strong set of arms around me, squeezing me, holding me up, keeping me steady. I manage to swallow despite the biting pains in my throat. I try to open my eyes but soon realize the pain—in every part of my body—is making it impossible to move more than a needle's length. I hear a soft breath above me, an exhale of relief.

I'm able to open my eyes just as I feel a set of lips pressed ever-so-softly to my forehead. When the man lifts his head, I suddenly realize it's Razin who's holding me. "Oh, oh she's awake! Thank the Gods, she's really alive."

What? What is he doing? Where are we? Why are we not in the palace? Where on Earth is Xerxes…? Xerxes. He tried to kill me. That man tried to kill me… And my baby. My child. Oh, my Ra. My child. I was expecting a baby. What happened to my baby? Am I still…? I can't think about that now. I have to figure out what the Hell is going on.

The pain in my throat subsides long enough for me to finally speak. "Razin..." I swallow before raising my voice. "Razin!"

He looks down at me, a worried smile gracing his face. "Yes, my Lady?"

I look up and around and notice that my horse is following along side the colt we're riding. I breathe a sigh of relief to know that she's with me. I continue to look around, to try to get a bearing on my surroundings, but I can't. The only thing I can see around me is sand. An entire sea of sand. I swallow again as I try to relax. I lick my lips before I respond. "Where are we?"

"We're on our way back to Egypt… I always said I wanted to go, remember?" he replies with a sly smile.

I sit up in his arms and turn around to face him. "… On our way to Egypt?" He nods softly. How are we on our way to Egypt…? Something is very wrong here. I don't understand this. I jump off his horse and into the sand before falling back down. Khepri trots to my side, and leans her head down to see if I'm all right. I nod to her, and use her reins to pull myself up. I swallow heavily and put my hand to my forehead. "Why aren't we in Susa? How did we get out?" I rest against my horse as I try to make sense of all this.

Razin sighs heavily and dismounts his steed. "I took you away from there… after I realized what the Emperor was trying to do to you, my Lady. Please accept my sincerest apologies for not arriving sooner, or more importantly, for not preventing him from attacking you." He bows deeply.

I press my lips into a hard line. "How long was I… how long did it take for you to find me?"

"Not more than an hour or so. Luckily for us both the poison he uses takes at least an hour to kill a man."

I instinctively put my hand to my stomach and look down at the sand beneath my feet. "And Xerxes… is he still…?" Just then I remember my plans for Xerxes. I figured he'd pull a stunt like this, and I came to Persia prepared. But I don't know if it's worked or not. So for now I have to throw Razin off my trail.

"Yes, I left him alive. It was all I could do to get you out of the palace alive, let alone worry about avenging your attack."

"Rest assured, Razin, if anyone is going to take revenge, it's going to be me. And I won't be worrying about him at least until I make it back to Egypt." I climb atop my horse and watch as he remounts his steed.

"If that is the case, Lady, then I regret to inform you that you will have to start worrying soon… if my guess is correct, we should be on Egyptian soil by dusk." I give a sigh of relief and immediately start organizing my thoughts as I prepare to convene my court. I grow deathly quiet, and my face becomes a hard, stoic expression. "Is everything all right, my Lady?"

"Hm? Oh, yes, yes. I'm fine. I'm just thinking about some things."

"Anything you would care to discuss? You look troubled."

"I assure you, I'm quite all right. And you'll find out soon enough… Sunset, you say?"

He gives a nod. "M'm. My best guess. I'm not entirely sure, but I know that we are nearing the ends of the Persian dessert." I nod and purse my lips as I continue to think. We ride, silently for the most part, back to Egypt. Luckily Razin was only off by a few hours, and we arrive with still a couple of hours before sundown.

By the time we reach the palace gates, a horde of subjects has gathered to welcome me back. I smile softly and manage a small address before sending them about their business and heading inside. "So it's true what they say…"

"Hm?" I turn to give Razin my full attention. "What's that?"

"That in Egypt the queen is as deeply beloved as the Pharaoh and as highly regarded as the Sun God."

My eyes widen and I quickly shake my head to disagree. "Oh, I don't know about all that…" My eyes drift down to my feet, "but I must admit I often flatter myself to think that I've earned their respect."

"You're too modest…"

"Come, I'll show you to your rooms," I reply to change the subject. I lead him inside the palace and further on to the Pharaoh's Hall. I lick my lips as I enter a set of guestrooms and usher him in. "These are some of the nicest rooms in the palace. You'll be staying here for now, until you can get better acclimated… I hope they are to your liking."

He looks around, clearly amazed at the carvings and their exquisite color. "This is lovely. I'm sure it will suit just fine," he says with a smile. I swallow. It feels like there's something wrong with his smile. Something… sinister, almost. I shake my head and pass it off as paranoia about Xerxes.

"I'll leave you to your rooms. I'm afraid I've got a lot to do and probably won't be seeing you until at least the evening meal if we're lucky. And I do hope you'll be joining us for the evening meal."

"Yes of course, my Lady. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good. The entire court should be in attendance. It'll be a fine opportunity for you to meet everyone," I reply with a soft smile. I watch carefully as his jovial expression falls ever-so-slightly. Odd. I take a deep breath, purse my lips, and leave. I don't have time to think about what that could mean right now.

I finally make it to my rooms to find a few of the things I took to Persia waiting on me. I swallow. Something is not right. How did my things make it back to Egypt? Didn't Razin just tell me he rushed out of the palace as soon as he could? I cross my arms as I try to make sense of all this.

Before I can make any headway, however, I'm interrupted by a set of arms wrapped around me, lifting me up. "You're back! I was so worried about you," Shadi greets me. I turn around to face him and give a soft smile. "Are you all right? How was your trip? Did you get a new treaty accomplished? I assume Xerxes treated you well? The baby-"

"I'm fine. The trip was fine. The treaty has yet to be worked out. Xerxes was Xerxes, and the baby is fine," I lie smoothly.

"Are you sure? I can't imagine how strenuous the journey was…"

"Would you like to check? Will that help you feel better?"

He nods. "It would, yes. Lie down." I nod and do as I'm told. I busy myself with the carvings on the ceiling as Shadi feels around here and there. He sits back, and I hold my breath to await his response. "You're right. Everything is fine. The baby is perfect." So I didn't lose the baby after all. What a relief. I smile weakly as he takes my hands and pulls me up to sitting position. "I'm sorry I doubted you, _Satiah._"

I shake my head. "It's quite all right, dear. Perfectly natural." I sigh and stand up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I still haven't seen the children yet, and I'm sure you've still got plenty of work to do. So I'll see you later, all right?"

I pat his head as he hugs me around the waist, still sitting. I smile softly when he kisses my still flat stomach before standing up. "I'll see you at the banquet tonight." He smiles and leaves.

I sit back down. I'm not particularly looking forward to a banquet tonight, but it tends to be customary when the queen returns after being gone for days. I guess I should be happy, though-more like overjoyed-to know that my baby is still alive. But I'm not. I'm terrified. All those foreboding feelings come rushing back to me, stronger than ever. I swallow. I have a bad feeling that between my baby and me, one of us is not going to make it out of this pregnancy alive. I shake my head to try and banish the thoughts from my mind.

I sigh, knowing it is a lost cause, and get up to look for the children. If I know Alexandria, she's got her brother down by the river. I exit the palace and go down to the river banks. Sure enough, I find them playing, trying to catch fish with their hands. Little Yujin looks up just in time to see me approach. "MAMA!" He and his sister come running towards me, and I almost fall over trying to catch them.

"Hello, baby." I kiss their foreheads. "Oh, how Mama has missed you. Did you behave? Eat all your food? Attend all your lessons?"

"Yes, yes, and yes, Mommy. Everything was fine," Alex reassures me.

"Come on, let's go inside. It's getting hot out here." I usher them inside and to their rooms. I spend some time playing with them before I decide to get back to work. The first thing on my mind is to find out how my things got back to Egypt, and who brought them. I distinctly remember Razin not having any bags with him, other than a sleeve of water.

I make it back to my room and start to look through my things. I find a scroll sitting neatly on top of my bag and begin to read. I let a small smile creep across my face. I try to continue working when I hear a set of footsteps behind me. I look over my shoulder to see that Mahado has chosen this exact moment to pay me a visit. I sigh. Looks like I won't be getting much of anything done after all. "Your Highness…"

I take a deep breath and turn to face him. "Yes, Mahado? Is there something I can do for you?"

"I know that you're pregnant… Shadi told me…"

I start to shake. I don't have time for this. There are much more important things that I need to do, and I don't appreciate being interrupted for something so trivial. "Are you upset that I didn't tell you? Because I'm sorry, but breaking the news was far from the first thing on my mind considering that I found out on the NIGHT I got Xerxes's invitation…"

"Oh, so you're going to hide behind that now?"

"Excuse me?"

He folds his arms. "You really expect me to believe that you went to Persia all by yourself KNOWING that you were pregnant…? That you would actually go on such a suicide mission?" He shakes his head. "I really didn't know you thought I was so stupid."

I glare at him. "I did, Mahado… Ask Shadi since you two are so close these days…"

"He's no friend of mine, if that's what you're implying." My glare intensifies, and I finally figure out what he's getting at.

He's still jealous. "Oh, so THAT'S what this is about? You're jealous of him, aren't you? You're jealous that I chose Shadi over you, aren't you?"

His gaze falls from me to the floor, and I know I'm right. "No, that's not it. You know that I'm involved with Jessinia…"

I shake my head. "No, you're not… She may fill the void, but you and I both know that she doesn't mean as much to you as I do… or at least as I USED to. And besides, considering the fact that you all but walked out on me when I needed you the MOST, I don't think you get a say in this. He was there for me when you WEREN'T."

"Oh, okay. I wasn't there for you when Atem died. Maybe if…" He rolls his eyes and shakes his head before he looks back up at me with the closest thing to pure hatred I have ever seen in his eyes. "You know, I don't know why I even fell in love with you in the first place, considering what a horrible mother you are."

That is a low blow. I have to look away from him before I can respond. "Do NOT bring my children into this, Mahado-"

"Oh, I'm not talking about your precious HEIRS, Nefertiri," he replies as he starts to pace in front of me. "We both know how good you are to them… I'm talking about the child you left behind for ME to raise."

"Do NOT make this about Anon, Mahado!"

"You're only upset because it's true. You left him behind to marry Atem, and you left me to pick up the pieces."

I swallow the lump in my throat. "Mahado, this is not about my son. Whatever your problem is, it's between the two of us… And I swear to God if you **EVER** bring him up to me this way again I will-"

"You'll WHAT? Find another way out? Like you did when you married Atem?"

I'm so through with this. "So that's what this is about? You're not jealous of Shadi after all. You're still hurt because you think I walked out on you eight years ago? Eight YEARS ago? If you remember correctly, I didn't have much of a choice at the time. Solori chose me, Mahado. She chose me because she knew that Atem and I would be happy together…" I shake my head to stop the tears.

He stops cold and stares up at me before finally exploding. "**I**** COULD HAVE MADE YOU HAPPY, NEFERTIRI!** I **WOULD** HAVE MADE YOU HAPPY! If you would have ever given me a chance, I would have made you happy… a lot happier than you are NOW, considering."

I bite into my lip as hard as I can as I try to keep my grip on my sanity. I take a deep breath. "Get out…"

"I was going to ask you to marry me, Nefertiri…"

"I said get out!" I turn away from him. I can't bear to face him now.

"I was going to ask you to marry me eight years ago. I was trying to work up the nerve to ask you, considering how close I THOUGHT we'd gotten, but then when Solori told me she'd chosen you to be with Atem, and I saw how you were with him, I knew I wouldn't have a chance…"

I slowly whirl back around to look him in the eye. "Mahado, I… I didn't know… I'm so sorry. You know that I would have-"

"No you wouldn't. Don't lie to me, Nefertiri. As soon as you found out that Solori chose you, and you met Atem, you forgot all about me."

"It wasn't like that. It wasn't even CLOSE to being like that, Mahado…" I try to get close to him, but he backs away. "I thought about you all the time, and you know Anon was all my mind every second of every day. I just-"

"It doesn't matter now." He sighs heavily. "You're happy with Shadi, and I have Jessinia…" I blink when I realize he didn't say he was happy. "It's in the past. I need to move on. I'll leave you to unpack. See you at the evening meal, Nefertiri." He turns and leaves.

I try to rush after him, but when I reach the hallway, he's gone altogether. I lean back against the doorway. I can't believe all those things we said to each other. We've had our fights over the years, but none so bad as this. I push myself off the wall to try to find him. I manage to take just a few steps when I feel a hand grab my wrist and pull me into another room. My response is pointed. "What's going on?"

I turn around to see Razin and notice we're in the set of rooms I picked out for him. "I'm sorry to scare you, my Lady-"

"You didn't scare me-"

"But I have to talk to you. It's urgent. Can you spare a moment for me?"

I sigh. It can't hurt. I was meaning to ask him about my things, anyway. "Sure." I sit down in a chair and cross my legs. I watch him take the few steps to the bed and sit. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

"What? Why are you apologizing? You've done nothing to be sorry for-"

"Be quiet. Listen." I blink, taken aback. He's never used this tone of voice with me before. "When the Emperor first told me what he was going to do to you, I have to admit that I didn't much care… if everything went according to plan, you would be dead no less than forty-eight hours after your arrival, and I would be first in line to take over as viceroy of Egypt. A dream come true… If, however, you did somehow manage to overcome and survive, that would've been no matter. We had a plan for that, too. I'd still be governor, and we'd make you my wife. A good will gesture for your people, if you will." I can't believe what I'm hearing. My jaw drops, and I have to clutch the armrests to make sure this is reality and not some strange dream. "But when I saw you in the dessert that day, I knew that I couldn't sit idly by and let Xerxes kill you. I tried to talk him out of it, to have him go with our back up plan as the primary, and for a while it appeared as though he agreed… But then I saw how much poison he put in your wine that morning, and I knew he was going to kill you. So I had to rescue you… Please, please tell me you can forgive me, Queen Nefertiri. I never meant to hurt you in anyway…"

My knuckles are white. I have to stand up just to catch a bit of relief, to make sure I don't break my hand from clutching the chair so hard. My teeth are clinched, and I just barely managed to squeeze a few words between them. "You knew about this… You knew he was going to try to kill me…"

He looks at his hands, folded in his lap. "Yes, my Lady, but-"

"How could you let him do that to me? I trusted you! I thought of you as a friend! You were the only person I could rely on, and now I find out you wanted me dead?" I turn to leave. I can't face this right now.

He grabs my wrist again. "I didn't want you dead, Nefertiri, not after I saw you. I couldn't kill any creature so beautiful as you. Please just listen to me…"

I feel the rage building, flaring up from just a smoldering timber into a roaring blaze. I turn around and slap him as hard as I can with my free hand. "I'm done listening. As far as I'm concerned, you're just as guilty as Xerxes…" I swallow. "I'm going to leave before I do something I might regret later on." I rip my wrist away from him and sprint, as quickly as I can, to the temple of Isis. I barely make it through the doorway before I collapse in tears, and the door slides closed behind me.

I hear a loud, blood-curdling, agonizing sound that just won't quit. It's only after a few moments that I realize the sound is coming from me. I'm screaming as hard and as loud as I can, at the top of my lungs, and I can't stop. I won't stop. I take a deep breaths only to hear each scream become louder and more desperate than its predecessor. I look up at the statue of Isis, coolly staring down at me, calmly playing witness to my overwhelming rage. I suddenly start to speak. "**WHY?** Why did you take him? Why did you take my husband from me!" I shriek. I finally feel the wet spot on my thighs. Tears. I've been crying this whole time. I wipe my face only to have more tears fall. The words slip out before I realize what I've said. "Everything was so much easier when Atem was alive…" I look back up at my True Mother, and I get a feeling that can only be described as… encouragement? I swallow. She must be trying to comfort me for my loss. It's much too late for that.

I wipe the last of my tears from my eyes, and again, the words slip out before I know it. "What of my pregnancy? Will my baby survive?" That seem comforting feeling washes over me, and the last words hang on my lips. "Will I?" An icy breeze flows through the chambers, chilling me to my very bones. I start to tremble. It can only mean one thing… Death.

I lean over and touch my head to the floor, as if I'm kneeling, and before I know it, everything goes black.

* * *

I wake up on my side, legs curled up to my chest. I swallow and blink a few times before I try to get up. It's slow going as my joints have gotten stiff. I shake my head and force my body to comply as I try again. I turn and take a few staggering steps towards the door before I get my bearing. I watch the door slide open and slowly exit.

I look around to see the lights aflame. It must be after dark. I've been out at least a few hours. I decide to go to the throne room to try and think through things. I need to start making plans for my… when the baby is born. I swallow and make my way there. I blink when I hear a commotion coming from that very room. I walk faster and am shocked at what I find.

Shadi, Mahado, and the rest of my Guardians are standing in front of a man in chains. The poor man has been badly beaten and probably tortured. "What is the meaning of this?" I ask, my voice still hoarse and gravelly from my visit to the temple. The man turns around at the sound of my voice, and I jump when I realize it's Razin. I make my way to the throne. "What's going on here?"

"My Queen," Shadi begins, "this man you brought back here. He is a Persian spy. He has orders to kill you."

"Impossible. I survived Xerxes's attack. There are no more plans on my life." I sit down to try and catch my breath.

"I hate to inform Your Majesty that you are mistaken." Mahado hands me a scroll, and I start to read. My jaw drops, and my mouth hangs open for several minutes. Xerxes has sent orders to MY palace commanding Razin to kill me. "As you can see, this man is no hero after all. He is still conspiring with the Emperor. We mean to put him through the Millennium Trials…"

"Excuse me?"

The Keeper of the Scales speaks up. "My Lady, the laws clearly state-"

I stand up, glaring daggers at him. "I AM the Law. Make no Mistake, Karim, this is my kingdom and I decide what transpires, here." I stand up and descend the throne. I approach Razin and am not surprised when all seven Guardians clinch their jaws, obviously tense.

I look down at the pathetic creature in front of me and can't help feeling a small amount of pity. I swallow. "I'm only sparing you, Razin, because you saved my life, and I never let a good deed go unrewarded. That being said, I banish you back to Persia where you belong." I bring my face close to his. "If you so much as think about stepping on Egyptian soil again, I'll have you disemboweled, your throat cut, and your body burned at the stake." I raise my eyebrows. "Do I make myself clear?" He looks down, whatever hope he had gone forever. I turn away and look at the my empty throne. "Leave. Now." I hear the Guardians drop his chains, and they rattle as he takes slow, deliberate, painful steps towards the door.

I slowly walk up the seven steps to the throne. I'm almost at the top when I hear Mahado's voice ring out behind me. "Forgive me if you think I'm questioning your authority, my Queen, but… Don't you think you let him off easily?" I turn and sit. "That man was going to kill you. If he makes it back to Emperor Xerxes-"

"Oh, he won't be making it back to Xerxes…" I smile slyly. I'm almost positive they can sense the malevolence all but seeping from me.

"My Lady," Shadi begins, "what did you…"

I cross my legs as my wicked grin grows. "Does it still count as regicide if an emperor is killed by another ruler?" I take perverse pleasure in watching their faces drop as they make sense of my question. I smile fondly when I remember the poison dates I offered Xerxes just after he handed me tainted wine. Just before I left, I had read that Xerxes had a weakness for dates, and I had a feeling he would try something like the stunt with the wine. Unlike his brew, however, my scorpion toxin works instantly. He probably never even knew what was happening.

Karim works up the courage to speak first. "My Lady-"

I put my hand up. "It's nothing for you to worry about just yet. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I've got a lot on my mind, and I need the time and space to think through it." I let my hand fall in my lap to join the other. "Dismissed." I watch them bow and leave.

I lean over, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. So much has happened today, it's hard to make sense of it all. I can't help thinking that it won't really matter in the end anyway, given what I found out in the temple. I can't help thinking about what's going to happen after I'm gone. Who will take care of the children, who will rule in my stead. How Shadi and Mahado will hold up…

Mahado. I gasp. I was so awful to him today. I have to apologize. I get up and look the whole palace over, until a guard finally informs me that he's gone out by the river banks. After a while I find him at the very edge of the palace grounds, by the gates, sitting against the date palm we planted in Anon's memory, eyes closed. "Mahado…"

He opens his eyes. "I didn't think you had it in you, Nefertiri… Not after Sehetepre." I'm surprised when he smiles fiendishly.

I put my hands on my hips. "If you must know, Mahado, Xerxes tried to kill me as well."

His smile grows. "I know. I just couldn't help thinking you got soft after Atem died… I didn't see that fight in you anymore. But one thing bothers me, though. How did you know it worked? How did you know Xerxes was dead?"

"I sent my courier ahead of me, remember, and I told him to stay until I ordered otherwise. He sent a note, along with my things, informing me of Xerxes's death." I sigh. "But I'm not here to talk about that." I plop down beside him. "I just wanted to apologize, for earlier… I shouldn't have said those things I said-"

He puts a finger to my lips and quietly shushes me. "No, it was my fault. I started it, and I was way out of line…" He reaches behind his back to grab something. He holds it out to me to reveal a shallow pot of water with a beautiful white lotus floating in it. "I was coming to apologize to you, but I couldn't find you… And then everything happened with that man…" I take the pot as he hands it to me. It's so amazing, and so thoughtful. It's just like Mahado, always thinking of me. I burst into tears. "Oh my Ra, Nefertiri are you all right? Was it something I said…? Do you not like the flower? I can get you another one-"

"No, no it's not that. This is perfect. Really. I just…" I start to cry harder. How do you tell your best friend that you might die in a few short months?

Before I can gather my words, though, he grabs me and holds me close to him. "It's going to be okay, Nefertiri. Whatever is wrong, it's going to be okay."

Oh, how I wish I could believe him. I find the strength to speak. "No, it's not…" I look down. "You know I'm pregnant…"

"I do." I feel him swallow, more than likely trying to tame the jealousy and anger rising within him.

"There was… There is… I…" I take a deep breath. "I was praying, in the temple… and I asked for an omen regarding my fate… I got the Cold Wind (1)."

He grabs my shoulders and holds me out to look in my eyes. "So…"

I bite my lip and nod.

He brings me back to his body. He holds me close, silently, for a few moments. I hear his slow, deliberate heartbeats and let them calm me down. He finally speaks after a few moments. "It's going to be okay. This isn't the end. I'm not letting you die. I'll figure out a way around this. I promise. I swear it… I won't lose you, Nefertiri."

It's my turn to pull away from him. I look up and into his eyes. "You can't defy fate, Mahado. You'll die trying."

"Then so be it. I'll do anything for you, Nefertiri. You should know that by now… I'll gladly die to protect you," he says before crushing his lips to mine.

* * *

1-Cold Wind: Some Egyptians believed that cool breeze during prayer signaled death.

* * *

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Dead Reckoning


	30. Le Morte d'Reine

This is it! We've finally reached the last chapter. It's been such a great ride, and I can't thank you all enough for sticking with it until the end.

* * *

Chapter 29:

Le Morte d'Reine

_I walk through the long, dark hallway until I see bright sunlight leaking through a doorway up ahead. I quicken my steps and reach the room to find Atem sitting in a chair, meditating, just like the day we met. I gasp, and my breath catches in my throat. "Atem…?"_

_He opens those beautiful eyes of his and gives me a bright smile. "Nefertiri… it's about time you showed up." He lifts his arms out to hug me. _

_I run into his arms and almost knock him out of his chair. "Oh, Atem, it's you. It's really you." Tears flood my eyes as I squeeze him nearly to death. "I miss you so much, love."_

"_I miss you, too," he says as he wipes my eyes and kisses my cheek. "But we'll be together again soon. I promise."_

_I find myself crying harder. "But when? When will we be together again?"_

"_Shh…" He holds me close and rubs my back. "It won't be long now. Just be patient."_

_I start to break down. "Atem, I can't… I can't do this anymore. It's so hard without you."_

"_I know, I know. But rest assured, it'll all be over soon." He kisses me one last time. "I have to go now, but be patient, and know that I'll be waiting for you…"_

* * *

I shoot awake with a start to the first few rays of dawn hitting my face. I wipe my eyes to stop the tears before they can start and put my hands to my temples when my head begins to ache. I will myself to sit up and get out of bed before I walk slowly to my washroom and splash some cool water on my face to wake up.

Despite the growing sadness looming over me, I manage a soft smile when my stomach starts to flutter. I put my hand to my swollen belly to feel my baby's kicks. It's been four months since I returned from Susa, and I've been growing every day. Shadi is so happy. He never misses a chance to dote on me. He's been really supportive throughout my pregnancy.

"Mama!" My heart warms when I hear my little son's footsteps pit-pattering towards me, and I turn to pick him up. I twirl him around when he wraps his little arms around my neck and kisses my cheek.

"Look at you! You're already bigger than you were yesterday. You're growing up too fast, little one." He laughs when I tickle him, and I let the delightful sounds bring a smile to my face. Not long after I returned, my son celebrated his third birthday. He's growing up so fast. I only wish Atem were here to see it. I sigh heavily as my dream forces its way to the front of my mind. "Let's go see what Alex is up to." I make my way out of my rooms and down the hall into Alex's suite. I smile when I hear her with her teacher. She always did love to get any early start. She runs to me and hugs my leg. I kneel down and kiss her forehead. "Hello, honey." I let Yujin down to see her. "Yujin, I want you to stay with your sister and her teacher. I have to take a trip today." They nod to me and hug me one last time, and I turn to leave the palace.

I make my way out of the palace and walk solemnly towards the riverbanks. I rub my stomach as the baby makes a few more kicks before I hear a familiar voice behind me. "Nefertiri?"

I turn around and am surprised see Mahado walking gingerly towards me. I figured he'd still be asleep. "Up a little early, aren't we?"

"I'm a Priest of Ra. I rise with him... Might I ask why you're out here so early?"

"I'm just taking a short trip, Mahado. Nothing to worry about."

"Do you mind if I join you?"

I smile softly. "I'd like that," I reply as I board the royal barge.

"My Lady Queen, what a pleasure!" I hear Userkaf, the shipmaster, beckon from the ship's bow. I turn to greet him as he bows deeply. "How may I serve you today?"

"It's good to see you, Userkaf." I take his hands in mine. "I want to take a trip today. It's been too long since I've taken a ride, and I do so love the fresh river air."

"Of course, my Queen. Your wish is my command. Right this way." He escorts us to our seats. "Where would you like to go today? The world is all yours."

I tuck some hair behind my ear and look up at him. "The Valley of the Queens (1)."

"As you wish," he replies before he turns to take us out.

I lean back against my seat to try and make myself comfortable. "The Valley of the Queens?" Mahado asks from beside me.

"Yes. I mean to visit my tomb (2)."

"Nefertiri, I don't think that's a good idea—"

"I can't think of a better idea, especially since I'm going to need it soon." I cover my face with my hands to try and soothe my aching head. Atem's words play again and again in my mind. _We'll be together again soon, love… I promise. _

"Don't say that. I'm going to find a way to save you," he says as he puts his arm around me. When I don't reply, he drops the subject. "Are you all right?"

I put my hands to my stomach and lean back again. "I'm fine. Just a headache. I've been getting a lot of those with this pregnancy."

"I'm sorry. I can brew you a potion when we return…"

"Don't bother. It's not that bad, really."

"That may be, but you know I hate to see you in pain," he says as he hugs me.

"I'm fine. Really," I reply. I look out at the riverbanks and the land passing us by. It's not long before I find myself getting drowsy, and Mahado has to shake me awake. "What is it, Mahado?"

"We're here," he says as he stands up. He holds his hand out to me and helps me up. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks as he helps me off the ship.

"I can't think of any place I'd rather be right now."

"If you say so…" He helps me onto a horse, and we ride off into the valley. Being the latest Queen, my tomb is deep in the heart of the basin, near to the end, where the gorge ends and the mountains begin.

Once we arrive, I dismount and rub my stomach. I bite my lip and swallow as I make my way to the entrance. I take a deep breath. I've never seen my tomb before. Atem commissioned it just after my coronation, so he took care of most of the details. I'm nervous as to how it will turn out. I take another deep breath and enter.

I descend the stairwell and head into the anteroom. I look around and gasp. The room is full of the most intricate, delicate, exquisite carvings I have ever seen. Not even Atem's tomb was decorated so beautifully. "Who's there?" I hear someone yell from behind us. I whirl around to find Nikara, Chief Priestess of Isis, staring us down. She steps closer and realizes who we are. "Oh, my Lady Queen! My utmost apologies. I thought you were tomb robbers," she says as she kneels before me.

"It's quite all right." I offer my hand to help her up. "Believe me, I understand."

"Might I ask what brings Your Majesty here today?"

"I, um… I just wanted to see how things were coming along is all… This is so beautiful…" I say as I turn back around to examine the carvings.

"M'm. The Pharaoh wanted nothing but the best for you," she replies proudly.

I bite my lip. "This is too much. I'm certainly not worth all this—"

"You were to the Pharaoh," she counters. "He demanded nothing less than perfection from us."

"I can't possibly accept—"

"Nefertiri, you know you meant the world to Atem. Are you really so surprised that he went to all this trouble for you?" Mahado remarks.

I turn away from them and wipe my eyes to stop the tears from falling. I make my way to the second staircase and into my actual burial chamber. I'm not surprised to find it even more painstakingly ornamented than the anteroom. I look up at the ceiling, and instead of the usual carvings, there is the most beautiful scene of the night sky, complete with shining stars. "The Pharaoh told us how much you loved to stargaze, so he wanted you to be able to do it in the afterlife as well."

I walk towards the center, to the case which will hold my sarcophagus. I kneel down to read the inscriptions. "The Lady Queen Nefertiri, the Woman for Whom the Sun Shines…" I gasp and put a hand to my mouth before I read further. "Lady of Grace, Warrior Queen, Protector of Egypt…"

"We felt obligated to include 'Warrior Queen' and 'Protector of Egypt,' given your prowess on and off the battlefield." I purse my lips. News of my murderous exploits in Persia has been spreading like wildfire ever since I returned. That, combined with my victory over Darrius a few years ago, has gained me quite the reputation.

I sigh heavily and read on, to the last inscriptions. Tears flood my eyes when I discover these words were written by Atem himself. "My love is unique — no one can rival her, for she is the most beautiful woman alive. (3) Her very presence has stolen my heart from me."

I can't read anymore. This is all too much. I get up and run out of the burial chamber, out of the anteroom, and back into the valley. I lean back against the rocks and hug myself as I try to catch my breath and stop the tears. "Nefertiri!" Mahado calls out to me as I hear his footsteps coming closer. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"

I wipe my eyes before putting my hands to my stomach. "It's nothing. I'm fine. I just… I was just a little overwhelmed is all. It's nothing, really."

"Are you sure?" he asks as he puts a hand on my upper arm.

I nod. "I'm fine, really." I rub my stomach as the baby starts kicking again.

"May I?" I see him point to my stomach.

I smile brightly, glad to see him showing some sort of interest in my condition. "Of course. Here," I put his hand on my stomach so he can feel the baby's kicks. I watch him try to smile before his eyes fall from me to the ground beneath us. Suddenly the feel of his kiss rushes back to me, and before I can stop myself, I speak. "I know. I wish it were yours, too." I gasp and put both my hands to my mouth. I start to hyperventilate. "I didn't say that. I didn't mean that. I didn't… I just… I mean… Oh, Ra…"

I'm about to faint when I feel him catch me. He smiles softly. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone if you won't."

I lick my lips and smile. "Thank you…" He lets me go, and I make my way to our horse. "Let's get out of here. It's getting pretty hot." Mahado helps me up onto the horse, and we ride back to the shipmaster, who promptly takes us to Thebes. I bid Userkaf farewell and make my way off the ship, but instead of going inside, I head to the palace gates.

"Where are you going?" Mahado asks as he takes a few long strides to catch up with me.

"I want to go out into town. I haven't been out in a while."

"Would you like me to join you?"

"No, no thank you. I don't want to keep you."

"As you wish," he says before turning and going inside.

I take a deep breath and exit the palace gates. I tuck some hair behind my ear before deciding to head to market. As I make my way there, I quicken my steps when I hear a commotion. I follow the sound of the noise to a grocer's cart where I can see the proprietor yelling at a woman with two small children. "What's going on here?" The man ignores me, clearly in the middle of a tirade. "I SAID what's going on here?"

That seems to draw his attention. "Oh, my Queen. I didn't see you there—"

"Obviously." My patience with this man is wearing thin. I put my hands on my hips. "What is going on?"

Before he can speak, the woman steps forward. "My Lady Queen, I was trying to purchase some food for my family. My husband recently passed, so I don't have very much money, but I have two small children who are very hungry, and—"

"She can't afford all the food she wants! I gave her some leftovers last week because I felt sorry for her, but I can't afford to keep giving things away. I have a family as well."

The woman drops to her knees, tears in her eyes. "Please… please… would you really let my children go hungry?"

My heart breaks for her. I wipe the tears in my eyes before I extend my hand to her. "Get up." She takes my hand and rises. I turn and glare at the man behind the cart. "You're despicable. You should be ashamed of yourself. This woman is on her knees BEGGING you for help, and you refuse her? What kind of man are you?" I reach in my pockets and come out with a small sack of gold. "Here, this should be more than enough for what she wanted." I throw it towards his cart and leave him to deal with the mess. I look back at the woman, take her free hand in mine, and swiftly walk away.

"Your Majesty, I—" She tries to catch her breath. "Might I ask what's going on?"

"You're coming with me, to live in the palace. I can't stand the thought of you having to deal with that imbecile any longer." I give the man one last scowl before I make my way to the palace.

She stops which causes me to stumble and nearly fall. "My Queen, I couldn't possibly trouble you this way—"

"Don't worry about it." I put my hands on her shoulders. "I know how hard it is to lose a husband… especially with small children."

Tears well in her eyes. "I don't know how I can possibly repay you."

"Don't. I'm just glad I could help." I take her inside and bump into Shadi along the way. I smile softly. "Just the man I was looking for," I say as he hugs me.

"How can I help you, _Satiah?_"

"Take this woman…" I turn back to the widow. "What's your name?"

"Isetnofret…" she hugs her baby girl close to her, and her young son grabs her dress as he hides behind her leg.

"Isetnofret. Take Isetnofret to the kitchen and get her acquainted with everyone. She's going to be my new cook. Once you're done there, show her to a nice set of rooms for her and her children, and take them to get some new clothes. After that, I want you to—" He silences me with a kiss on the forehead.

"I've got the idea, Nefertiri." I smile at that.

"My Lady Queen, there's no way I can accept all these things," Isetnofret protests.

"Think nothing of it." I squeeze her upper arm gently. "Everything's going to be all right now. I promise." She nods silently as Shadi leads her off and away. I turn and head towards the throne room to do some thinking. I'm barely seated when a guard announces that I have a visitor. "Send him in."

A young man enters and bows before me. I recognize him as the son of my favorite jeweler. "My Queen, an honor and a pleasure to see you as always."

I smile softly. "The pleasure is mine, Mentuhotep. Where is Wankare? I thought for sure he'd be here?" I ask as I rub my stomach.

Mentuhotep points to the door behind him. "He's in your infirmary, my Lady. He's not been feeling well as of late. In the meantime, though, he wanted me to see if you needed any jewelry made."

"Um, not that I can think of," I say as I rise. I motion for Mentuhotep to follow me out to the infirmary.

I enter the infirmary to find most of the beds empty except for one in the very far right corner. I walk swiftly to my old friend's pallet and pull up a chair. The sound of the wood scraping against the tiles awakens Wankare from his slumber. He wipes his eyes and tries to sit up.

"Don't strain yourself," I reply as I bring my chair closer. "Your son told me you weren't feeling well, and I wanted to come check on you."

"As I live and breathe… a bed check from the Queen herself." He chuckles as he makes himself comfortable. "It's nothing to worry about, my Lady. This old heart is just giving out on me."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." I place my hand on his. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Buy some jewelry."

I can't help laughing at that. "Yes, of course I'll buy some jewelry." After I commission a necklace and some bracelets from Mentuhotep, I leave Wankare to his rest and head out to take a walk by the river. I reach the staircase and am about to descend when I feel a set of hands on my back and a push forward. Before I can catch myself, I'm tumbling down the stairs. I cry out for help and desperately reach for my stomach as I fall. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, the baby is moving all around, and the last thing I see is Ahmenhotep, his face contorted in a wicked grin.

I wake up in my room after a few hours with Shadi, Mahado, and the rest of the Guardians hovering over me as my head starts to throb. Shadi takes my hand in his and kisses it. "Oh, thank Ra, you're alive. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." As I bring my other hand to my face, I realize that my arm is badly bruised. I look down at my stomach to see that it is covered in marks as well.

Tears flood my eyes, and Shadi interrupts my thoughts. "It looks worse than it is, Nefertiri. The baby is fine." He puts a hand to my stomach, and as if on cue, the baby moves around, and relief washes over me. I clear my throat and sit up as Mahado gathers pillows for me to lean against.

"Nefertiri, what happened? Did you trip?" Mahado asks.

I smile despite myself. "I'm not that clumsy, Mahado." He and the other Guardians smile as well, but then my face falls. "I was pushed."

"I don't understand. Who would do such a thing?" Shadi asks, horrified. I watch Mahado's expression change from one of confusion to one of realization.

"You'll find out. Gather the servants and guards. Summon the courtiers. Send them to the throne room. Mahado, Shadi, help me up." The others do as they are told, but Shadi hesitates.

"Nefertiri, I don't think that's such a good idea. You shouldn't be moving around so soon. In fact, I'm prescribing bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy."

I put my hand up. "I know what's best for me, and I know what I can handle. This has to be done."

"If you're sure…" I reach for his hand Mahado's hands, and they help me up. We slowly make our way to the throne room, and as they help me to my seat, everyone murmurs amongst themselves when they notice my bruises.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I brought you here, so I won't waste your time. Ahmenhotep, step forward." He does so, and I stand up. "I've gathered you all here to bring charges of treason against this man…" I put a hand to my stomach as I step down. "This man has beaten me, raped me, and tortured me. He has betrayed my husband's trust by stealing from all of you." Everyone gasps at these revelations. "And just today he tried to kill me and my unborn child." Some of the women put their hands to their mouths, and I happen to sneak a glance at Mahado as his face hardens. I step forward as Ahmenhotep glares at me. I bring my face painfully close to his. "For all these things, I want him executed… High noon tomorrow."

"YOU BITCH!" He lunges for me, but three guards pounce on him before he can touch me. "I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you, bitch!"

I smile. "Not if I kill you first. Take him away." The guards take him, screaming obscenities, from the room. "Dismissed." I watch the other leave before sending Shadi to fetch the children and motioning for Mahado to help me back to my room.

He helps me into bed and pulls up a chair beside me. "Are you all right, Nefertiri? The baby—"

"Is fine." I put my hands to my stomach. "She's a survivor, this one."

He smiles at that. "Just like her mother." We spend the next few hours laughing and talking.

* * *

Three months have passed since Ahmenhotep was executed. I can honestly say that it was one of the best days of my life, right up there with marrying Atem and having my children. It feels so good to know that I'm finally free of my tormentor after twelve years of abuse. I've been sleeping so well since then. At last, I feel I'm at peace.

After the execution, I've followed Shadi's instructions and remained on bed rest. It's almost time for me to have the baby. I'm having intense cramps and signs of labor, which has everyone on high alert. I'm not so worried, though. I've done this three times before. And while I know my fate, I can't help feeling excited. I'm not looking forward to dying, but I have to admit that I can't wait to see my husband again.

Mahado interrupts my thoughts. He's the only one who knows about what's going to happen once I have the baby. "Hello, Nefertiri. I just wanted to check on you. How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Come, have a seat." I motion for him to pull up a chair.

He does so and sits beside me. "How is the baby? Have you been resting like you're supposed to?"

"Yes, Shadi makes sure of that." I take his hand and guide it to my stomach as the baby starts to move. "And she's fine. She could come out any day now."

"How are you so sure it's a girl?"

"A mother knows… And besides, I've never been wrong before." I swing my feet over the bed and motion for him to help me up. "Let's take a walk."

"Are you sure? I don't think you're supposed to be up walking around…"

"I'll be fine. And anyway, walking has been known to spur on labor. Let's go."

"If you say so…" He helps me up, and we make our way out of the palace and towards the river. We walk along the riverbanks for a few minutes when suddenly an agonizing pain hits my lower back. I clasp Mahado's hand in mine and squeeze tight. "Nefertiri, what's wrong?"

"The baby… the baby is coming." A feel a rush of fluid between my legs. "We need to get inside." Mahado helps me inside and starts to lead me to my rooms. "I can't make it to my rooms, Mahado." I lead him into a set of empty rooms and sit down on the bed. "Get Shadi and my midwife, hurry!"

A look of panic becomes his face. "I don't want to leave you, Nefertiri."

"Just do it! I'll be fine. I promise." He leaves, and I lean back against the pillows. I close my eyes, and I smile when I see Atem's face. _It's almost time, love. We'll be together soon. _I open my eyes to find Shadi, Mahado, and my most trusted midwife at my side.

She commands me to push, and I begin to do so. The labor is intense and daunting, lasting hours and hours. Just when I think I'm done, they tell me to push harder. As Shadi and my midwife tend to me, I hear Mahado reciting prayers to the Trinity, and I feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness. _You can do this. You can do this. _I feel Atem reassuring me, and I can't wait to be beside him again. I summon the last of my strength to give one more push. Relief comes in the form of a heavy rush between my legs.

I smile and fall back on the bed as my baby's cries fill the room. Mahado congratulates me and wipes my forehead with a cool cloth. Shadi brings me the baby and places her in my arms. "Nefertiri, we have a daughter." I smile brightly down at her and kiss her forehead. She's so beautiful. "What will you name her?"

"Iaret-Meritamen." I feel a darkness looming over me and hand the baby to my midwife. "Shadi, bring me my children. He leaves, and I put my hands over my eyes. "Mahado?"

"I'm here, Nefertiri. I'm right here." He sits down beside me on the bed and takes my hand in his. "What is it, Nefertiri?"

I suddenly feel so weak. I swallow. "It's time, Mahado…" I close my eyes, trying to save what little energy I have left for the children.

Mahado grabs my shoulders and shakes me, causing me to cough up blood. I wipe my mouth with the bottom of my dress. "Nefertiri, don't say that. Please, don't say that. You can fight this… I need you." Tears flood his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mahado, but I have to go. We knew this was coming."

He presses me close to him. "No, not like this. There's still so much I have to tell you. I love you, Nefertiri. Please don't leave me this way."

I swallow. "I love you, too, Mahado. Listen to me." I sit up against the growing pain in my abdomen. "When I'm gone, I want you to rule Egypt. I know you'll do what's best for the empire…" I fall silent when I hear Shadi return with the children.

"Be careful," Shadi says as they eagerly climb on top of the bed.

I smile when Alex rests her head on my chest and Yujin wraps his arms around my neck. "Would you like to meet your new sister?" They nod eagerly, and my midwife brings me the baby. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"She looks just like you, Mommy," Alex says. Yujin nods his agreement. I smile softly.

"I'd like a minute alone with my children, please." I watch as my three attendants leave me. I swallow as I try to find the words. "My precious children… I have some things to tell you. First and foremost I want you to know that there are no words to describe how much I love you. I wanted you from the minute I knew you were in my belly, and I can't possibly imagine my life without you."

Alex looks up at me, confused. "Is everything okay?"

It takes everything I have to choke back a sob. I nod as I try to find the strength to go on. "Alex, I want you to take care of Yujin and Iaret-Meritamen. I want you to nurture them and guide them. I need you to be their mother now… And Yujin, oh my Yujin. You look so much like your father." I can't help but smile at the prospect of seeing Atem again. "I want you to look after your sisters, okay. You have to protect them from danger, just like your father did." I close my eyes for a moment when I feel myself slipping. "I want you to know that I love you so much, and we'll be together again soon. I promise."

I kiss them and hold them close to me as I draw my last few breaths. When I feel I can hold on no longer, I give them one last hug, close my eyes, and leave this world forever.

* * *

1-The Valley of the Queens was the burial site of many of Egypt's queen consorts and was analogous to the more famous Valley of the Kings.

2-The Pharaoh and Queen's tombs were usually commissioned shortly after their coronation so that they would be ready when they died.

3-Those words were written in the temple complex of Nerfertari by her husband Rameses II.

* * *

Oh, my gosh that took so much out of me. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried while writing this. I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who's stuck by me and believed in this story from it's very first incarnation until now.

Dead Reckoning


	31. Epilogue

Well, this is for sure the final entry in the series. I left a lot of unanswered questions in that last chapter and hopefully I can clear those up now. As always, thank you for reading.

* * *

Chapter 30:

Epilogue

The first few rays of light shine down on the staircase as I make my descent, I look down at the white lotus blossom in my hands when I reach the antechamber. White lotus. Her favorite.

I walk into the burial chamber and place the flower at the altar in front of her sarcophagus. I start to murmur a set of prayers to her true mother, and once I'm finished, I take the slow, painful steps to her sarcophagus. I finger the hieroglyphs. "The Lady Queen Nefertiri, the Woman for Whom the Sun Shines…" I choke back a sob.

"I miss you so much…" It's been fifteen years since Nefertiri died, and I've been so lost without her. I've tried my best to rule Egypt, as she wanted, but it's so hard without her. Everything is so hard without her. I take a deep breath. It's becoming too painful to stay here. It's always too painful to stay for more than a few moments.

I make my way out of her burial chamber out into the valley. I find my horse and pat him on the head as he nuzzles me. I say one more prayer for Nefertiri's soul before I leave. I ride slowly back to the ship and take a quiet journey back to Thebes. I wipe the tears that have fallen before I make my way to the palace.

I can't be upset. It's supposed to be a happy day. All of Egypt is celebrating, and with good reason. Princess Alexandria will ascend the throne today as queen. "Mahado! I've been looking all over for you!" I turn around as the very princess in question runs towards me. She gives me a big hug. "Where have you been?"

"I was just visiting your mother's tomb. I didn't mean to worry you."

"It's all right. I'm just so nervous about today."

"Don't be. You'll be fine." I put a hand to her shoulder. I see so much of her parents in her. She looks just like her mother, but with her father's violet eyes. I smile softly. "Let's go pick out your dress." She takes my hand and eagerly leads me inside the palace and to her rooms where her sister is waiting. "Princess Meritamen, you're getting more and more beautiful by the day," I say as I bow cordially. Meritamen has forgone her first name except in formal occasions, and Nefertiri was sure to command that her daughter be treated like a Princess, just as her other children were.

The two princesses busy themselves looking through Alex's dresses and only enlist my help to give a second opinion. After a couple of hours of this, we hear a knock at the door, and Lord Yujin enters. His resemblance to his father is haunting. The only trace of Nefertiri in him is his eyes. "Princess Alex, it's almost time for your coronation." Two years ago, just after his sixteenth birthday, Prince Yujin abdicated his claim to the throne, as well as his title of Prince, leaving Alex as next in line. Not long after his renunciation, the Scales chose him as a Guardian, and I have to say they made the right choice. He takes his duties seriously and is his sister's most trusted advisor.

Alex steals off with her brother, and I'm left alone with Princess Meritamen. She sits next to me, and I have to strain to hear her. "Mahado?" I look down at her and am surprised to see tears flooding her eyes. "Will you… will you tell me about my mother? I try to ask Alex, but she simply grows silent and sends me away. And Yujin hardly has any memories of her. I just… I have so many questions…"

I pull her close to me and stroke her hair. "It's all right, little one. Don't cry. I'll tell you about her." I take a deep breath. Thinking about Nefertiri inevitably dredges forth all the pain that marked her time here, but I begin anyway. "Your mother was such a special woman, both inside and out. She had the prettiest blue eyes anyone has ever seen, just like your brother. And she looked just like you and your sister, only a little older." I sigh heavily. "She only lived to be twenty-seven, but she did more in those years than most people do in two lifetimes." I smile softly. "And most people don't know this, but she was actually very quiet and shy, like you."

Meritamen looks up at me, her golden eyes alight. "Really? She was?"

I nod. "She was. She was sweet and humble and kind. She never forgot where she came from, and even after she was crowned, she went out into the city to be with her subjects. She ate with them in their homes and visited their sickbeds. She always said she belonged to all of us, and she was truly the People's Queen. But she was also a fierce warrior. Nefertiri won one war and saved us from another. She fought hard for what she believed in, and she believed in Egypt." Seeing that the princess is feeling much better, I force myself to snap out of my memories before they become too painful. I kiss her forehead. "You're so much like her. She would be proud to call you her daughter. Anyone would be."

She smiles softly, but I can still see one more question playing on her lips. I wait patiently and am rewarded when she blurts out, "And my father? What about him?"

I don't know why I hoped she wouldn't ask about Shadi. It had to come up eventually. "Your father was a good man, very noble and wise. He took his duties seriously, and he loved your mother very much, almost as much as Pharaoh Atem did." Almost as much as I did. I sigh heavily and she nods quietly. I can only pray to Ra that this placates her, that she won't ask what happened to him. I don't have the heart to tell her that Shadi went mad with grief and killed himself not long after Nefertiri's death. I can't say I blame him, though. I don't know what I would've done if I didn't have so many people counting on me. More than that, I have no doubt that Nefertiri would've made my afterlife a nightmare. I take a deep breath and try to put on a good face for the princess. "Meritamen?"

"Yes?"

"Don't be upset with your sister. She's having a difficult time without your mother. After the Pharaoh died, Nefertiri was her only parent for a while, and then Alex lost her, too." I pull her into another hug. "Sometimes it's hard to think about someone you love when the memories are all you have."

She nods against me. "I know. I know. I just… I just I wish **I **had some memories to cling to. I don't know either of my parents aside from what you tell me."

"I know, and I'm sorry for that. If I had my way, your parents would be alive today, but we both know the Gods rarely give in to our wishes. But I'll tell you what. Anytime you have a question about your parents, you can ask me, and I'll tell you everything I can, okay?"

"May I take you up on that offer now?"

I flash a smile. "Of course. Ask me anything."

"My mother… what did she like to do? Did she have any hobbies or skills?"

"Oh, yes, she had many hobbies. She loved to read and write, and she was almost always seen with a scroll in hand. She liked to weave sometimes even though she said she wasn't very good at it… And, ah, yes. I can't believe I almost forgot. She absolutely loved to stargaze. She spent many nights out by the river, looking at the stars and the moon. Her favorite star was the Heart of the Scorpion (1)… Oh, and she always wanted to be a high priestess, just like you."

"Really!? She did?" I see Meritamen's whole face light up, and I know I've made her day. Princess Meritamen has declared her intention to become a High Priestess of Isis, and has already started her training. Her confirmation should come in no time. "Thank you, oh, thank you!" She hugs me so tight and I can barely breathe, and I can't hide a smile.

"Well, you better go get ready Princess. The ceremony is about to start soon." She gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before she flies off to her rooms to get dressed. I sigh heavily and make my way to my own room as the sadness overtakes me. Remembering Nefertiri always makes me so miserable. For all the good times we shared together, there were just as many horrible things that taint the memories. Her abuse, her losing her husband, us not being able to be together. Is it any wonder that I'd just as soon forget sometimes?

I shake my head and get dressed before I start to clean my already spotless room. As I tidy up, I come across a small square of linen and smile to myself before placing it in my pocket.

I head out and make my way to the throne room just before the citizens are set to arrive. I find Princess Alex here pacing nervously, obviously in a panic. She looks up just as I enter. "Mahado, oh thank Ra you're here. I'm so scared."

I go to her hand place my hands on her shoulders. "I said you'll be fine. Remember?"

"What do I do? What do I say? What if I trip? What if I spill wine all over my dress? What if—"

I shake my head. She sure is antsy for her twenty-two years, and she certainly didn't get this anxious streak from Atem. This is Nefertiri through and through. "Everything's going to be all right. Just calm down."

She flails her arms wildly. "Don't tell me to calm down! I'm about to become the Queen of Egypt!"

I sigh heavily. "I know this, Alex. But your mother handled it in stride, and I know you will, too. You will be a great Queen, and you will make your mother and father proud."

This seems to soothe her for a moment. She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. I've spent my whole life preparing for this, and there's nothing to suggest that I will fail. I'm sorry to bother you."

I smile. "You're never a bother. Now take your seat. It's almost time." I watch as she turns away from me and takes her place on her mother's throne. A pang of sorrow hits me as I remember all the times I would talk to Nefertiri as she sat on that very throne. I guess I'll have to get used to seeing a new Queen there. The scent of lotus blossoms snaps me out of my thoughts, and I find Meritamen standing beside me in a royal blue dress with gold embroidery. "Princess Meritamen, you look lovely."

She takes my hands in hers. "Thank you, Mahado. For everything."

I nod. "Oh, I almost forgot. Here," I take the square of fabric from my pocket and hand it to her. "Your mother weaved this. It's her first piece of linen... I thought you should have it." She pulls me into a tight hug, and I can feel her tears seeping through my tunic. I wrap my arms around her and stroke her hair before I shush her and wipe her eyes. "There, there. Easy now. It's almost time. You don't the whole all of Egypt to see you crying over some cloth, do you?"

She lets me go and wipes her remaining tears as the citizens start to file in. It's not long before the entire throne room is filled, and people are spilling out of the palace and into the courtyard. Almost all of Egypt has come to see this.

I watch Yujin make his way to the front of the crowd and recite the opening prayers before leading Alexandria through the recitation of her duties and the oath. She goes through those nervously and trips on her words a couple of times, but she was able to recover gracefully. Yujin recites the last of prayers before Alex leads us to the Dining Hall for the banquet.

So many people have come that we have to set up tables in the hallways, and even then a lot of people have to sit on pillows on the floor. I sigh heavily. There are almost as many people here as there were at Nefertiri's funeral. The procession stretched from the mouth of Nefertiri's tomb all the way back to the entrance of the palace.

Hers was the funeral to end all funerals. People from all over the world showed up to mourn her loss. Kings, Queens, Emperors, everyone was on hand. We didn't need to hire weepers, either. Our sorrow was genuine.

Nothing has been the same since Nefertiri died. Without her sweet smile and gentle laughter to light up the palace, we've fallen into a sort of disarray. The only sources of comfort we can really cling to are her children. They're so much like her; it's almost like having her here again. Almost. But no one can ever fill the hole in our hearts. All I can do is comfort myself with the hope that in a short while I can see her again and be free from this pain.

* * *

1-Antares is the brightest star in the constellation Scorpio and the sixteenth brightest star in the sky. The Egyptians called it the Heart of the Scorpion and used it to symbolize the Scorpion goddess Serket.

* * *

I'm surprised at how fast I was able to write this, and I'm even more amazed that I didn't cry, but I am really sad to see this story end after so many years. All I can say is that it's been one amazing journey, and I can't thank you enough for sticking by me through the years.

Till next time,

Dead Reckoning


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